Taste More Tears, Tamaki
by Female-Fighter
Summary: *Why did I leave you? I still love you. Every moment away from you creates one more scar, one more broken promise. Kyouya I love you and I'm sorry I never got to tell you that. Please be happy.* Tears rolled down Tamaki's face as he stepped off the edge.
1. Start New Suoh

Taste More Tears

Chapter 1

**Start New, Suoh**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!  
**A/N-** Yea so I lied, again. This story is a retelling of Following His Footsteps, sorta. This takes place during the two years Tamaki is in New York and will be either 1st or 3rd person from his perspective throughout. More information at end of chapter. Hope you enjoy.  
Also I took this story down and reposted it becasue I totally messed up chapter two and on so instead of just over writing it taking it down and starting over was best. Enjoy :)

ALSO I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS MADE IN THIS STORY. WHAT HAPPENS TO TAMAKI I WILL NEVER, EVER APPROVE OF. Thank you.

~Femalefighter~

Tamaki stepped into the limo with his father. This was it, he was going to America, New York, to run his family's business.  
"Are you absolutely sure about this?"  
"Yes father there is not a single doubt in my mind that this is what has to be done to set things straight."  
"Very well then." He told the driver to go.

_Dear Kyouya,_

_If you haven't already guessed I've left for America with my father. Don't bother looking for me for even I don't know where I'm going exactly. In order to set things right again I have to do this. But you see this time is different, for I'm not doing this for my grandmother I'm doing this for you. I want you to go get your future, the one you have dreamt of for years. I'm okay now, I found what I was looking for all this time and that was you. You're the person I was searching for and I can be happy for the rest of my days knowing I got to experience it. My house is now yours so you don't have to look for one anymore and the staff is there for you as well. Antoinette likes you so please be kind to her. Kyouya, I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I hope you live your life exactly as you dreamed. You have brought me back my smile and so now I can move to America with that and our memories, making the most of my time there. I hope you can too. May you marry someone who captures your heart and helps you reach for your dreams. Best Wishes._

_I love you Forever and Always. _

_Tamaki Suoh_

The trip had been nice, extremely long but nice. Spending time talking with his father helped the time move as well. He was really hoping that he would be able to spend the time in America with his father. Maybe they could make up the time they lost when he was still growing up in France. He always wanted to be closer to his father when he was growing up and while he was in the hospital his dad did tell him he would be around more.

Tamaki stood at the airport taking in all that was around him. He was finally here in New York, the melting pot as he heard. The city of dreams, there was so much to do and see he would have a lot of fun here he was sure of it. Following his father they walked to the waiting car where their two bags were loaded and they headed off to his new home. His new beginning, the new chapter of his life, whatever he called it it didn't matter. All that did was that he was excited and ready.

Stepping out of their limo he stretched, his legs were stiff from the long drive. He never realized he wasn't staying in New York City until they left it. The house he was staring at was huge and right in front of the water; he could hear it from where he was standing.  
"This is the Hamptons and contains some of the nicest houses in the states. You should find the area will create the same atmosphere as back in Japan. The people are not Japanese but they are of the same social class so you won't feel out of place."  
Tamaki only partially heard his father as he walked around the yard. The property was quite nice, large and spacious yard, two large oak trees in the front for a nice symmetry, the coble front walk, he could enjoy being here so far. Walking around and through the gate he saw the backyard. A nice patio and willow tree provided a nice amount of shade in the corner. Carefully he stepped closer to see the ocean, the view was gorgeous. Sure he had seen the ocean in Japan but never up on the cliff like this. He was surprised to not see a fence here though, since it was so high up, someone could get hurt.  
"Tamaki can you come inside for a moment?" Turning around he forced his eyes away from the view. Something told him he would be back to stare at it later.

The inside was just as beautiful he felt. Dark red wallpaper in the hall made it seem so private and intimate. The more he walked down it though the more he decided that he needed to add something to them. The walls were just too bare.  
"In here is the kitchen, the cook wants to meet you and know what your favorite dishes are." Following his father he stepped into the kitchen where if it didn't smell fantastic from something baking he would have sworn it was a hospital room. White tile walls and white ceramic floors looked good but it almost seemed out of place. It was probably since the hallway had been much darker.  
"Ah Master Tamaki, welcome to America. I hope you enjoy my cooking. I just baked cookies for you since I do not yet know what you would like."  
"I eat practically anything so whatever you think would be good is fine. I do want to try lots of American dishes so if that helps you any. With that being said I will have a cookie, what are they?"  
"Chocolate chip."  
"Mr. Williams, I believe this will be the start of a great friendship." Reaching over he took one off the plate. They tasted rich and were still warm; maybe he would really be okay here.

After getting the grand tour and seeing his new bedroom he walked downstairs into the living room. He noticed the room had two bay windows that held beautiful views of the ocean. Actually most windows here were bay to show off the water. His room held two, his study held one. Passing up the couch with his father he went to sit on the window.  
"Are you okay being here Tamaki?"  
"I am, I hope Kyouya can find happiness and achieve his dreams this way."  
"Please don't tell me you only came here for him. What about you want? Your happiness is just as important, if not more as anyone else's."  
"I am happy so long as he is. I really don't see this as a bad choice. America is supposed to be a country filled with culture and New York City alone is a world known city. I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun here."  
"I really hope so Tamaki. I don't want you to fall ill again."  
"I won't, I learned my lesson the first time father. So when do I start school?"  
"You start Monday so that gives you the rest of today and tomorrow to settle in. You'll be attending Ross School which is the best school in the area. Its uniform is already in your closet."  
"I hope it doesn't look stupid."  
"If I remember correctly it's a navy shirt and tan pants."  
"That's not so bad I guess. Do you think next weekend we could go into the city, maybe see where this new school is going? I've always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty as well."  
"Tamaki, I hate to tell you this but I have to fly back to Japan on Monday."  
"But, I thought you came here on business?"  
"I did and it's on Monday, I leave right after. Your grandmother needs me back in Japan sooner than expected so my trip here was cut short."  
"Oh, I see." Moving his head he stared out towards the water, the sun was starting to set. He had never seen the sunset look so pretty before.  
"When will you be coming back?"  
"Not for awhile."  
"Oh." Resting his head back he felt saddened knowing he would be alone here just like back in Japan and growing up in France. He needed to stop dreaming that his father wasn't an important person and could spend time with him.  
"I'm sorry Tamaki. If you need me I'll fly back. Will you be okay here?"  
"Yea, I'm sure once I start school and meet my classmates I'll be able to hang out with them. Maybe tour the city with them." Looking back at his father he smiled, he could do this he was certain of it. This was a new country after all and so the demons of his past were left in Japan.  
"If things become difficult call me and I'll step in to help. It's just that your grandmother really wants me back in Japan and I don't want her to come down on you if I stay. But after saying that I want you to know that you are my son, and I love you. I don't want you to have a repeat of Japan."  
"I promise dad that won't happen. I'll never let that happen to me again. So if you have to leave come Monday then go and don't worry about me. I'll be fine; I'm used to this by now, really." Looking down he grabbed his wrist gently. Under the bandages were his scars, his consent reminder of what he did. He had promised Kyouya he would stop and he planned to forever hold that promise. Even if they were miles apart he wouldn't let him down.  
"Can I redecorate a little?"  
"This place is yours so do as you like. I know you still have hand problems but a piano is coming in a few days. I thought it would be good to help you until a therapist can be hired for you."  
"Sounds nice." He wasn't sure if he could play anymore but having the option to was nice.  
"Since you have to fly back on Monday can we check out the area around here tomorrow?"  
"Sure."

Tamaki walked into his room to grab his laptop. Sitting on the window he let it load, he couldn't get over this view.  
"I wonder if Kyouya has ever seen a view like this?" _*Kyouya*_ Opening his e-mail he deleted the spam and opened a new mail. Staring at the blinking cursor he tried to get his fingers to move on the keys. Did he really want to contact Kyouya though? Tell him that so far he liked America? He did want Kyouya to move on so maybe this wasn't a good idea. Looking around he saw his back pack that he brought with him when he moved. Closing his laptop he got off the window. He hadn't brought much over from Japan. Just a few books and a picture, a picture he treasured just as much as the person it held. It was the first one he ever took with Kyouya. He felt a ping of pain in his chest, this must be the pain of love.  
"There is no turning back now, because I love you I will leave you so you can achieve a dream. A dream you had since before you met me. We'll move on together even though we are far apart." Putting the picture on his nightstand he moved under his covers for bed.

Sunday seemed to go by too fast. Knowing his father was leaving sometime tomorrow he wanted the day to last a little longer. Heading to the shops he found an antique store that held many French and Japanese replicas as well as original. His favorite thing was an old samurai sword but that wasn't being delivered until later in the week. He already had a place for it, on the wall next to the door in his office. It would be perfect there.  
"Master Tamaki this package just arrived for you."  
Carefully looking behind him on the latter he saw the housekeeper, Ms. Smith holding a box. Finishing to hang what he held he jumped down to take the box from her.  
"Oh wow this is heavier than I thought; sorry for making you hold it." He liked Ms. Smith she was older for her hair was turning grey but she wasn't as old as Shima was. If he had to guess her age he would say mid to late fifties.  
"Sir, I can decorate for you if you'd like." He put the box on the floor and started to open it curious as to what it was. He already knew normal mail wasn't delivered on Sundays.  
"Nah it's fine. Believe it or not but I really enjoy doing it myself. Sweet my school books are here. Good I was getting concerned. Look at all of these, math, science, history, French…ha-ha easy A for me, English. Nothing too bad it seems."  
"Calculus, Chemistry, American History. Your good in math and science sir?"  
"I'm better in math than science though I've had A's in both back in Japan. You know the school system here right? I was in my second year of High school back in Japan so that makes me what here? America has four years of high school but there are three in Japan."  
"My guess would be a junior since the four levels are freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior. Since you were in the second to last year then you should be in your second to last here as well. But, realize something sir, they may make you a sophomore so you are there longer. You know so they get more money from you."  
"Guess I'll find out tomorrow then."  
Picking up his books he brought them into his room and threw them on the bed to go back to adding things to the walls.

"Tamaki are you okay with this? If you want you can fly back to Japan and your grandmother will be none the wiser."  
"I'll be fine father; believe it or not I'm used to new schools and first days. The only thing I don't like right now is this uniform. I mean the colors are stupid and I look dumb. The French and Japanese ideas for blazers are much better."  
Yuzuru started laughing, he was glad the uniform was the only thing Tamaki disliked at the moment. He was still scared that this was all too much for him right now. He had only been released from the hospital from cutting himself only a few days to a week ago. He also didn't like the fact that he had to fly back to Japan so soon, but Tamaki was smiling and joking. Maybe they were past his depression. Perhaps his moving would get him past whatever demons he had back in Japan.  
"What time is your flight?"  
"At seven, I am heading to the airport right after my meeting. So, I hope you have a great first day. The school is one of the best and offers a lot so you should find something that interests you."  
"Father, please stop worrying I am not a child anymore. Go back to Japan without worrying about me. You did it when I moved from France."  
"Yes but look where it got you."  
Tamaki looked down and covered his wrist with the bandages he still had on. It hadn't been in a splint for a while now but he liked having the bandages on especially for today.  
"It wasn't from that. It has nothing to do with you."  
"You never did tell me how it happened."  
"I gotta get to school, I looked into it last night and noticed it isn't that close. Have a safe flight father." Picking his back pack up he walked past his father and out the door.  
"Tamaki!" He went unheard as the door shut on him. Yuzuru stood there watching his son leave. He figured Tamaki would never tell him what caused him to start cutting himself. Something told him he would never know. Obviously Tamaki didn't want to talk about it but was it really healthy to keep it locked away?

As the car pulled away from the house Tamaki rested his head on the window. Moving the white bandage strips he stared at his slowly forming scars, the memories of how they came to be resurfaced.  
"Because, I searched for love and acceptance in a life that forbids it, for being unwilling to show the pain of lies to ones I love. But that was then and this is now and will never let that happen again. For you Kyouya because you got me to smile again."

The car pulled up to the campus, at first Tamaki thought they pulled up to the wrong school. It reminded him of a university back home not a high school. Though he did only know of Ouran and it did hold a University on it. The front of the building jutted out as a circle where students used as the main entrance and exit. Some were talking to their friends before they had to go in.  
"Have a good day sir."  
"…Thanks…" Getting out he stood there taking it all in, trying to get the butterflies in his stomach to go away. His driver couldn't closer the car door as long as he stood there.  
_*I can do this, I have to, there is no turning back now.*_ Taking a giant breathe and tightening the grip on his back pack strap he walked to the front doors.

Okay so he was nervous and he was ready to see people staring at him but he must have been paranoid. He felt like all eyes were on him as soon as he walked in. Seeing that the main office was down the hall he ran to it. The eyes were starting to burn him.  
"Can we help you sir?"  
Looking up from the floor while he tried to breath he noticed the secretaries were staring at him but they were smiling, welcoming him.  
"You must be the new student, Tamaki Suoh correct? Did I say it right?"  
"Yes, yes I am." Smiling back he walked to the long counter where the two worked it looked like.  
"What do you think of the area? Have you had time to explore the town?"  
"Just a little."  
"Well I'm sure your classmates will help show you around. Here is a schedule and map of the building. Also, here is a list of all the clubs and teams we offer. Would you like one of us to show you to your homeroom?"  
"If it's not too much trouble." He was going to decline the offer but the school was a lot bigger than he thought it would be and he wasn't in the mood to get lost trying to find his homeroom.  
"Right this way then, don't want to be late on your first day."  
It was easier then he thought it would be to get to his homeroom. Had he not been so nervous he could have probably found it on his own. The secretary introduced him to the teacher who half smiled and pointed him to his seat. Trying to ignore the stares on his back he noticed that all of his classes were in different rooms. That would take some getting used to, in Japan he would stay in one room for all of his classes expect gym of course. Unsure what was going on he followed what the class was doing. They all stood up and covered their hearts, okay so they were respecting their country. But what were they saying? He would have to ask someone later.

Hearing the bell ringing he grabbed his things and followed the others out of the room. That must be the bell for first period. Holding his map and class hand he tried to figure out where to go. A part of him had hoped that one of his classmates in his homeroom would have helped him but no one said a word to him. Maybe it would be different in his first class? Which was American History, if he ever found where that was. Well, at least he could ask the teacher about what they did in homeroom.

Walking in he noticed most of the seats were full. As he went to the teacher he heard a few guys snicker. There was no way it could be towards him could it? He didn't even know anyone yet. It was probably just a coincidence that's all, yea that was it, he was just nervous and worrying over nothing. A few girls started laughing as they tried to get the guys to stop. Suddenly he just wanted to sit in the back of the room, or leave. His insides were telling him to stay away from the front of the class at the very least. Getting his seat in the middle of the third row he kept his head down as he walked past the guys he heard the snickering from just before. Trying to avoid them he didn't see one of them stick his foot out to trip him. Stumbling, his backpack fell off his shoulder and onto the girl's desk behind the guy that tripped him.  
"S…sorry."  
"It's okay, no harm done."  
"No it's not okay, watch where you are going. Fag."  
_*Fag?*_ Tamaki didn't know what he said, he never heard that word before.  
"It's fine Daniel chill. If you hadn't tripped him nothing would have happened."  
"You stay out of this."  
"Look I'm sorry, I'll be more careful from now on I promise."  
"Yea you better."  
Taking his seat he wished he didn't have to be sitting next to them. The girl seemed okay but that guy, Daniel was it, seemed to give him a bad vibe. For the entire class Tamaki was tense as he tried to follow what the teacher was saying. He could tell Daniel was watching him in the corner of his eye. He would have to stay clear of him it seemed.

When the bell rang he waited until he left before getting up. Daniel ran out with his friends and the girl from earlier once the bell went off. Leaving last he slowly walked out of the room, trying to make sure he didn't bump into anyone while he tried to figure out his next class. He looked around as he heard his name.  
"It's Tamaki right?" Looking over he saw the girl from before.  
"Sorry about Daniel, he can be overprotective of me sometimes. The name is Rose by the way."  
"Don't worry about it, no harm done right? And Rose is a beautiful name, the pleasure is mine."  
The two walked down the hall together. Rose was a sweet girl. Tamaki couldn't figure out how she could be with Daniel.  
"Well this is where we part ways. See you tomorrow I guess since it doesn't look like we have another class together."  
"Thanks again for helping me. See you tomorrow."

Looking at the class as he walked to his Chemistry teacher he noticed Daniel wasn't here. That was good. Maybe he wouldn't see him any more for the day. Rose was the only person that talked to him for the first half of the day and he learned that he hated the fact that he had to eat lunch in the cafeteria. Only students who lived in the housing on campus were allowed to leave the building. Not knowing anyone yet really sucked, why couldn't Rose be here? Looking for a spot to sit his heart jumped for joy seeing Rose at a table until Daniel came up behind her. Quickly walking in the opposite direction he sat at the edge of some table. No one was near him giving him half the table to himself which wasn't helping him learn people but this should keep Daniel and his friends away. They really scared him; just something about them didn't sit right.

Having French as his last class made the day ten times better. He could tune out and still understand what was going on. It was hard to decide how he liked school. Everyone seemed to treat him like some alien, even the teachers barely spoke to him. He spoke English pretty well for he had no trouble understanding them so it wasn't that. Maybe it was American culture and he just had to get used to it. Deciding to just forget about it he went into his study once he got home to start his homework.  
"Tamaki sir, dinner's ready."  
Lifting his head from focusing on his textbooks he stretched as he saw Ms. Smith in the doorway. This worked he needed a break anyway. As he followed her downstairs he asked her about what the class recited in homeroom.  
"Sounds like the pledge of allegiance to me. Do you need me to teach it to you after dinner?"  
"If you could I would be grateful." He was going to ask her about the word he didn't understand before. The one Daniel said, but he didn't remember it what it was.

The second day of school wasn't much different from the first but he did get to speak to his father afterwards. He was glad to hear that his flight went smoothly.  
"How is the school?"  
"It will take some getting used to. It's very different from what I know."  
"Have you talked to any of your classmates?"  
"One of them is kind to me, though her boyfriend is extremely protective and easily jealous so it's hard to talk to her when he is around."  
"Well it's only the second day I'm sure you'll meet more soon."  
"I know; I'm not worried." *_Though I'm really starting to miss Kyouya and the others.*_

0o0o0o0o0o0

I started this for NaNoWriMo…well the novel of it and since it is over. And I had the first chapter written and about half of the second I decided to type and post it. Best bet for updates is to alert it or me so you know since school is running again and I am working on another story as well so I don't know how frequently I will update. Oh and the rating increase is for language, language that kills my soul to write and type because I hate it soooo much but it is needed. Hope you enjoyed chapter one. Please Review with any thoughts.  
~Femalefighter~


	2. Descend Into Darkness

Chapter 2  
**Descend into Darkness**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS MADE IN THIS STORY. WHAT HAPPENS TO TAMAKI I WILL NEVER, EVER APPROVE OF. Thank you.

Tamaki crossed one more day off his calendar. One week, he had been in New York for one week today. It didn't feel like a week, it felt longer, a lot longer. For some reason, that girl, Rose stopped talking to him. It was strange; they used to talk for a minute or so at the end of class once Daniel left to hang with his soccer buddies, though he stayed close by. On Friday though she walked out with Daniel and blew him off. Maybe she was in a rush on Friday and today everything would be cool again. Hearing Ms. Smith call for breakfast he gathered his things and left his bedroom. He could just tell Daniel didn't like him, that was the vibe that came off him though he wasn't sure why. They had never really talked so Daniel had no real reason not to like him. Well whatever, Daniel was just one of hundreds at the school he could talk to.

Homeroom sucked, there he said it. For twenty minutes he got to sit and watch as everyone talked to each other. Taking out his notebook he stared to doodle just like he did every day. To not seem so out of place he would draw whatever came to mind. He wasn't really good at drawing but it did help pass the time. Closing the notebook he got up to go to first period where he got to spend an hour with Daniel, what fun. Walking in he noticed Rose looked away, so she was completely avoiding him. Did he say something to piss her off? They didn't talk that long though so that seemed unlikely. Okay so that was two people out of hundreds he wouldn't talk to, fine.  
"Okay class, today I am going to pair you off in groups of four and each of you will write a brief summary on a section of the chapter." Tamaki began to sweat as he noticed how the teacher was grouping them. Crap he would most likely be paired with Rose and Daniel. Seeing he was right he slowly stood up to move his desk over. He really didn't want to do this.

"You heard her Tamaki; we have section three so get to it." Tamaki said nothing back to him. Not that he wouldn't do it at all but he would rather not talk to Daniel in the process.  
"I forgot you're foreign. Yo dumbass…Get. To. Work. I. Don't. Want. To. Fail. If. I. Do. I. Get. Kicked. Off. The. Team."  
"My English is fine Daniel you don't have to pause after every word." Rose started laughing only to stop when Daniel got pissed off.  
"Hey don't talk back to me!" He kicked Tamaki in the knee so no one would see and he got him with a good bit of force too.  
"Oww!"  
"Tamaki are you alright?" He looked up to see the teacher standing behind him.  
"He is fine ma'am, just jammed his fingers."  
Tamaki couldn't believe Daniel actually said that. He really wanted to call him out on it but figured no good would come to it.  
"Yes I am fine ma'am."  
"Good now get back to work you four. I don't want to see one person doing all the work."  
"Daniel you should really help me, all of you should. We would get done quicker."  
"You know fag you are really getting on my nerves. Do me a favor and shut up."  
Now where was the teacher, Daniel shouldn't be allowed to get away with this, he was just saying that to look out for all of them so then why was he getting so defensive. And what did fag mean? He really needed to look it up or something. Maybe he would tonight once he got home. If he ever got home that was. He still had forty minutes in this class and then another six classes after.

If he thought being in a group with Daniel was hard then he really was dumb. Standing in front of the class was ten times worse. He had been "volunteered" to speak for the group. Now he stood alone with faces he didn't know staring at him. He kept messing up because of it and whatever Daniel was mouthing wasn't helping. God he really couldn't do this, he really hated the eyes. Before he never had a problem but, ever since he was in the hospital being stared at burned. Finally getting done he rushed to his seat breathing again. He never wanted to do that again. He could hear people around him laughing and he knew it was at him. Trying to block them out he started to draw again. He made it look like he was taking notes by looking up every so often but he had no idea what the other groups where talking about.

Hearing the bell ring he gathered his things as fast as he could to head to his next class. Seeing a shadow over him he looked up to see Daniel standing besides his desk.  
"What's this huh?" Picking up his notebook from his desk Tamaki stopped moving only allowing his eyes to follow.  
"Please give it back Daniel."  
"You really are a fag if you draw. And gross I touched you earlier, just great."  
"I said give it back" His voice grew louder though it was still soft. Realizing they were alone he really got scared. Why did it seem no teacher was ever around when he needed one.  
"Oh you want it back huh? And why should I?"  
"Because it's mine. Now please can I have it back so I can get to class."  
"You want it this back?" He dangled it above Tamaki's head making him reach for it. "Well too bad you'll have to wait until after school to get it. Meet me, no; I'll meet you by your locker after school. See you then."  
"Daniel wait!"  
"Have a problem faggot?" He turned back to Tamaki getting ready to go after him. Seeing Tamaki flinch he turned back around to the door and walked out. "Didn't think so."  
Tamaki couldn't believe what happened, what did just happen exactly? Seeing the next class walking in, he grabbed his things and rushed out.

Not having his drawing notebook wasn't a total loss. Since it was just a plain old writing notebook he could use anything to draw in. The drawings in it weren't great or anything he didn't want people to see anyway. But still, it was his and Daniel had not right to take it. Zoning back into class he realized they were opening their text books and working on something. Leaning over to his lab partner he asked what page and the assignment. She huffed before slamming her pencil in her book and looking at him.  
"Page one twenty-five and the questions on the bottom."  
"Umm, thanks."  
"Yea whatever."  
Okay, what was her problem? He hadn't asked to copy her answers. Going back to his books he got started and tried to forget Holly's attitude just now. They never spoke, not even in labs so why was she so mad at him?  
_*Focus Tamaki, just forget about her, she isn't important.*_ Chanting that in his mind he got done what he had too.

At the second half of class he was ready to scream and he did. They started working on a lab project as a class. They were mixing chemicals to get a certain chemical reaction. This was the part of class he actually enjoyed, though with today being a day from hell so far it seemed like he just wanted to sit in the corner and watch.  
Someone tripped and the chemical cup they were holding spilling on and down Tamaki's back. The class was laughing though he didn't see what was so funny, it was burning him. His shirt was completely destroyed as it disintegrated where it ran. He slipped his arms out of what was left, good thing he wasn't a girl that would really suck. His pants had gotten hit too but it seemed to be on the back of his leg, good, he really didn't want the people laughing to see his boxers, plain or not. The teacher pulled him to the back of the class to help stop the burning, even though the water was doing little to help the pain it seemed. They had been told to be careful, that it could burn the skin but obviously the guy that tripped wasn't being too careful.  
"Okay that's the best I can do. Go to the nurses and tell her what happened. Also if you have clothes to change into then do so. I doubt you want to stay the rest of the day as you are."  
"Yes sir."

The nurse went over his burned areas and covered them; they really started to sting now. He had to change into his gym uniform and order a new school uniform to replace the one destroyed. By the time he was allowed to leave his next class had already started. He got lucky that what touched him wasn't a flesh eating one and it would heal in a week or so which was good. Thankfully he didn't have to be taken to the hospital, and then everyone would really laugh at him.

By the end of the day he was ready to go home. He couldn't yet though; he needed his notebook back from Daniel. He was at his locker pulling books in and out of it that he needed for tonight. Standing up to make sure he had everything before he closed it, it was slammed shut on him. He stood there blinking a few times before looking over to see Daniel and his friends next to him. One of Daniels hands was still on the locker. As his eyes shifted he noticed one of the guys with Daniel was the same guy that burned him before. _*Don't tell me.*_  
"Can I have my notebook back now?"  
"I'm the one who is talking, remember that from now on. I don't want to hear your voice, ever. Got that?"  
"Y…yes." He swallowed hard before flinching as Daniel hit the locker with his fist.  
"Wrong answer. Heard you got burned on your back earlier. I bet it hurts doesn't it. I bet you don't want me to touch it." Moving he grabbed Tamaki's shirt collar and slammed him into the locker with his back. He yelled as his back hit, the pain ran through him. Being pulled away he was slammed back into it again and again.  
"Remember never talk to me, ever. Don't talk back to me, don't tell me what to do and if you ever tell anyone about what I did now I'll kill you. As long as you're here your mine, you are my dog so you have no choice but to obey your master." He threw him to the floor throwing his notebook on his face. Leaving him there they all walked away laughing.

Tamaki sat up shaking. What was he going to do? He was scared; he never faced someone like Daniel before. He couldn't fight back even if he did know how. He couldn't even make a strong right fist. He wanted to go home, back to Japan. Back into the arms of the one he loved. That was it tonight he was calling Kyouya. He needed to hear his voice. He needed to know that not everyone loved to laugh and torment him. Kyouya, thinking about him made him want to cry. Even more so then he wanted to after what happened. Gathering his things he stood up and headed to his waiting car. Drying his eyes as he got closer he tried his best to look like nothing happened when he saw the driver.  
"Have a good sir?"  
"Yes thank you."  
As the school got further away from view he relaxed more and more.

Once home he ran up to his room ignoring Ms. Smith's questions. He really didn't want to talk to her right now and he knew she was going to ask if he was alright knowing the nurse called her about the chemicals burns and how to take care of them for him. Changing clothes he sat on his bed holding his phone. His hands shook as they scrolled down his contact list stopping at Kyouya's name. He was only going to call and see how he was doing; he was not going to let Kyouya worry about him. That was the last thing he wanted to do to him. Taking a deep breath he hit the send button and got the phone to his ear. It rang once before he got a strange message. _*I'm sorry your call can not go through. Please try again later. I'm sorry your call can not go through. Please try again later. I'm sorry your call can not go through. Please try again later. *_ "What the…?" Hanging up he tried again to get the same message. Perhaps his number changed. He scrolled down to his old houses number. Even if Kyouya wasn't living there they still might know how to reach him. _* I'm sorry your call can not,*_ "Not again, could my phone just not be capable of connecting?" Getting up he left his room to go down the hall to his office, the house phone should work. His father called it just the other day from Japan.  
_* I'm sorry your call can not go through. Please try again later_.* "Not here too. What is going on?" He tried everyone's number, Haruhi, the twins; if he had their number he tried calling them. Nothing, he always got the same message. Running back to his room he pulled out his laptop, he needed to get through to someone, anyone. Going to his e-mail he sent a message to Kyouya begging him to message him back or call, that he was sorry he left and they needed to talk. Hitting the send button he sent other messages to the others in his address book, nothing as drastic but asking for them to reply or contact him. He waited nervously, hoping for a response. Being called down for dinner he tore his eyes away from the computer and went downstairs. He picked at his dinner eating as he could before he could go back upstairs. He wasn't hungry; he just needed to talk to the one he loved. Waking his computer up he saw the last thing he wanted to.  
_*Return to sender, unable to deliever.*_ There was one for every e-mail he sent out.  
"No, no, no, this can't be happening. I can't be all alone out here, I just can't. I'm not strong enough." Backing away from his computer his eyes poured out all the water he had been storing in them. He crumpled to the floor pulling his hands to his shoulders, hugging himself tightly. He could feel his body falling apart, back into darkness and this time there was no one to pull him out. He could feel the waves starting to crash over him and the sand moving further away. He was slowly drifting away from shore.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

This feels a lot better right now, a lot better. I am a lot happier with this chapter compared to the other one. Hope you enjoyed it as well. Please leave thoughts and comments in review.  
~Femalefighter~


	3. Black and Blue

Chapter 3  
**Black and Blue**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!  
I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE STATEMENTS MADE IN THIS STORY. WHAT HAPPENS TO TAMAKI I WILL NEVER, EVER APPROVE OF. Thank you.

Tamaki woke up to a gentle knock at his door. Slowly gaining his senses he noticed he was on the floor, he had been there all night. Pushing himself up he went to the door, seeing it was locked, that was unlike him.  
"Master Tamaki, are you alright? Your door was locked and I was getting worried."  
"Sorry, yes I am fine. I must have locked it and not realized it last night."  
"Okay, well as long as you are alright. Breakfast is ready and your driver will be here shortly."  
"Oh okay. Thank you."  
Closing the door he looked down to see that he wasn't even in his pajamas. He was in the clothes he wore after school. School, he really didn't want to go. Maybe if he just kept his mouth shut and went about his own business everything would be alright. How many weeks until they got out for summer vacation? Five weeks or so, a month. He could handle a month right? Trying not to think too much on it he got dressed in the other uniform. Good thing he just washed it the other day. Gathering the things he needed for school he left his room for breakfast.

Walking into his homeroom he felt like everyone was staring at him. Quickly taking his seat he dropped some of his books on the floor. Seeing a few people around him looking at him with eyes of disgust he picked up what fell as fast as he could and sat down. Trying to block out everyone around him he opened his notebook and started drawing. Not really paying attention to what it was until he stopped. Seeing that he drew a very rough sketch of Kyouya he flipped the page over before anyone saw it. The last thing he wanted was people to involve Kyouya, who had done nothing and didn't go to this school. Sitting back in his chair he winced and moved forward again, his back was burning now from hitting it. How could he forget that, he didn't wear his backpack so it wouldn't touch. He would also have to get a note for gym; there was no way he would be able to play volleyball today. The one plus side to being here was he learned that he loved volleyball. He played it in Japan but not as much since it wasn't covered for as long. But, the guys on the team he played in were brutal and yea, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

Walking into first period he saw Daniel with this smirk on his face. He was smug, that bastard. He really had no remorse for his actions yesterday.  
"Good you came today. I was scared that I scared you away."  
Tamaki said nothing but just gave a small nod to tell him he heard him. Daniel couldn't say more as class started and he didn't want trouble with the teacher so he wouldn't face problems with his soccer coach. Tamaki relaxed a little knowing this and was able to focus harder on the class. Finals were coming up faster then he would like so he had to really buckle down. He already missed most of the school year and would have to do lots of work to catch up since the Japanese curriculum was done differently it seemed then the American one. Ms. Smith was helping anyway she could since apparently she used to teach high school English and History so that worked. For math he just needed to know what they learned, he could figure out the formulas on his own and by reading the book. Chemistry, well that was a whole different story. That may require a private tutor but he wouldn't know exactly until they started to review. As the class ended he couldn't stop the butterflies in his stomach. Once the bell rang he may have to deal with Daniel again. Maybe if he packed up his things really fast he could run out and to the next class right as the bell was ringing and avoid Daniel. Or he could be the last to leave, no, that wouldn't be smart. Okay so faster it was, and his drawing notebook was being put in his backpack this time. Knowing he still had to erase the pictures of Kyouya, Daniel really couldn't get his hands on it now.

Kyouya, could the whole reason he couldn't reach him last night be because he blocked him? What if he was so pissed off at him for leaving, or maybe he had to block him to go back with his father. No, because then he would be able to reach his old house. Maybe Kyouya told everyone to ignore him, to block him. But couldn't they see he did it to protect them? He ruined Kyouya's future; he couldn't allow himself to ruin anyone else's by staying. Still, he wanted to talk to them again one day. He didn't want it to be good-bye forever. They were his first real friends and as things looked now they would be the only friends he would ever have. Realizing he was starting to cry he stopped thinking about them, he couldn't lose it here. Hearing the bell ring he jumped up and ran out, he should have enough time to run to the bathroom, splash water on his face, and get to class.

Placing his backpack between his feet he ran the cold water. It felt nice on his senses, he could breathe again. Hearing the door open he sprang up. Ever since what happened yesterday he was always on guard, not trusting anything it seemed. Even while he was at home this morning he jumped at any little sound. Seeing Daniel and one of his friends his heart started racing. Shit, shit, shit, what was he going to do? Maybe they would just leave him alone, after all he hadn't done anything to piss Daniel off.  
"Just the person I was looking for."  
_*Shit, shit, shit*_  
"Follow me." When Tamaki didn't move Daniel took another step forward to intimate him. "Don't make me repeat myself."  
He picked up his back pack and followed them out. Where were they taking him? Why did he have such a bad feeling about this? They took him to the back of the school where work was being done. Now he was really scared, no one would find them here since there were no cameras or construction workers at the moment.  
"As my dog you have to do as I say and come to me when summoned. Right now I say to stand as you are, just drop the back pack." Tamaki did as he was told though he had the instinct to run, run as fast and far as he could away from them. With them being so close and on them soccer team it didn't look like he would get far. And he would probably get in more trouble with them for trying to run.

Not seeing what was coming Tamaki was punched in the face. Somehow he managed not to fall. A part of him knew he would regret still being on his feet though.  
"W…why are you doing this?"  
"Because. I. am. Pissed. And. I. need. To. Vent. My. Anger. On. Something." Daniel punched him after every word. Tamaki's pain doubled as Daniel hit him on the burns. As he hit the floor he was kicked across the ground.  
_*God let me die already.*_ He was in so much pain and it didn't show any signs of letting up. If he couldn't die then he at least wanted to be unconscious. Tears poured from his eyes as he was unable to hold back anymore. He knew it wasn't helping the situation but right now he didn't care.  
"Daniel, bro, we gotta get to class. The bell already rang."  
"Alright, I'm feeling a little better I guess. Let's go."  
Spitting at Tamaki's face he walked away with his buddies. Tamaki laid there unable to move for what felt like hours. His body felt like it was on fire. Rolling over he felt his cell phone fall out of his pocket.

Using what little strength he had at the moment he called his house. Hearing the sweet soft, gentle, mothering voice of Ms. Smith he managed to smile a little.  
"Hello? Hello is someone there?"  
"M…Ms. Smith."  
"Master Tamaki? Is everything alright, shouldn't you be in class?"  
Forcing himself to sit on his knees he gripped his phone better.  
"Could…could you please send the driver. And actually, actually could you sign me out of school?" Before he could finish, mainly explain, why she cut in.  
"Are you alright sir? Is something wrong? Do you need a doctor?"  
"I…I fell down the stairs here. And, and I'm having trouble staying on my feet."  
"Sir I will be there as soon as I can for you."  
"Thank you. I appreciate it."  
Hanging up he sat there for a moment knowing he had some time. He told Ms. Smith that he fell down a flight of stairs so now he had two choices. One was go to the nurse's office and explain what happened while he waited or two, go sit in the wings where the stairs were. He was pretty far from the nurse's office but the stairs he would be near for class weren't any closer.  
"Shit. God damn it, why me?" He was so frustrated and in pain his voice could barely hold out. He could feel more tears finding their way of their home and down his face. Why him? Why did this have to happen to him? What did he do to deserve this treatment? Couldn't someone tell him what he did, anyone?

Knowing he couldn't stay here anymore he made his way to his feet. Lifting his backpack he let it hang in his hand as he took one slow step after another. His whole body hurt, all he wanted to do was sit and sleep. Getting to the hallway marking the halfway point to the nurses from the supposed staircase he sat against the wall. He couldn't walk anymore. Holding his knees he cried into them, he was in two much pain to care that it hurt to sit as he was. Not bothering to lift his head he fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket when he felt it start to vibrate.  
"Tamaki, sir, it's Ms. Smith. I am here at the nurse's office and she said you never got here. Your class hasn't seen you either. Where are you sir?"  
"Down the hall between them, where the math classes are usually held."  
"I'll be right there sir."  
"Thank you again."

Ms. Smith ran down the second half of the hallway once he saw Tamaki huddled together on the far end.  
"Master Tamaki, sir, are you alright? Can you stand?" When Tamaki looked up at her with a tear soaked face her heart broke. Something told her there was more to this then what he was saying. Tamaki saw his driver, one day he would remember his name, and Ms. Smith. The school nurse was with them as well but she wasn't the one he was truly happy to see, though he meant no disrespect. Ms. Smith knelt down pulling out a cloth and started to wipe his mouth. When she pulled it away to refold it he realized his mouth was bleeding.  
"Let's get you home sir, alright?"  
Nodding he lifted his arms to have his driver help him up. Using him as support they walked to the office so Tamaki could be signed out and taken home.

In the car he watched from the back window as the building left his view. Once he could no longer see it he buried his head on Ms. Smith's shoulder as he started crying again. She reminded him so much of his mother, his mother that he missed and wished to speak to again.  
"Master Tamaki, it's alright now. Your fine." She was taken off guard by this. He hadn't trusted her so much before. She felt honored though that she gained his trust.  
"What happened Tamaki? Talk to me. Please."  
"Why…why me? What did I do?"  
Hearing this she picked his head up and pulled him away to look at his face.  
"You didn't fall down the stairs did you?" Seeing him dodging her face she had her answer.  
"What is going on Tamaki? Were you attacked?"  
"…No, no of course not."  
"Don't defend them Tamaki. The school and the police need to know of this."  
Shaking his head 'no' as fast as he could, he tried to get her to drop the idea. If he told on Daniel and his friends they would surely come after him.  
"It's fine. Please, please don't tell my father."  
"Sir, Master Yuzuru needs to hear of this."  
"Please, I am begging."  
Seeing him start to cry again she pulled him closer and dropped the conversation. They could talk again once Tamaki was home, cleaned up, and had a chance to calm down.

Tamaki was brought upstairs to his room once they got home. Making sure he had no broken bones and nothing was bleeding he was left alone to sleep. Maybe if he slept this nightmare would end. Maybe when he woke up he would be back in Japan and he would see it had all been a dream. He would be back with Kyouya, they would never be a part, they would love each other forever. Opening his eyes he slowly sat up, the pain reliever he was given still hadn't kicked in it seemed. Reaching for his laptop he decided that he had enough of dreaming. He was going home. He would be on the first available flight to Japan. If his dad told him he could go home last week or so surely he still could. He didn't even care where it landed in Japan; he would find one way or another to get to his house. Finding a flight that left tonight he went to book it. His body became warm with excitement, sure he loved Ms. Smith and Mr. Williams but he couldn't handle America anymore. Surely they would understand and he could never forget their kindness in this cold country. A smile went from ear to ear as he went to the payment page. He was really doing it, he was really going home. Grabbing his wallet from his back pack he punched in the needed information and with each number on his credit card that he punched in his excitement grew. Checking the information three times for accuracy he clicked the send button. Knowing he was going to need a printer he got up to go to his office.

Ms. Smith sat in the kitchen at the table on the phone. While she had to listen to Tamaki, Yuzuru gave her, her paycheck and he had to know that something was going on.  
"He won't talk about it sir, but I know he lied about falling down the stairs. Someone attacked him."  
"How serious is it?"  
"Well he is home and asleep right now but he could barely walk and his face is clearly bruised. Also yesterday there was this incident. At the time it seemed to be a freak accident but after today I'm wondering if it wasn't intentional.  
"And what was that?"  
"Yesterday I received a phone call that Master Tamaki received chemical burns on his back and parts of his leg when a student tripped and spilt it on him. The burns should heal in a week or so but still that isn't the point. He has been acting strange for a few days now but I think whatever is going on at school is getting to him sir."  
At hearing this Yuzuru made arrangements right there to fly out. He needed to know what the hell was going on at that school. And why they seemed to do nothing to stop it. He needed to step in before his son was killed. He planned to fly out hearing he had been attacked but now the urge was much greater. Knowing he had a fourteen hour flight made him wish he could get there by some faster means.  
"Should I tell Tamaki that you are flying out sir?"  
"No, I want him to continue to go to you. We will treat my visit as a surprise. I will call you when I have an arrival time."  
"Of course sir."  
Hanging up she sat there for a moment. She then realized what time it was in Japan. It was one in the morning; she must have woken him up. He didn't seem upset that she did which was good. It was clear how much he truly cared for and worried about Tamaki being out here, especially after what happened to him back in Japan, as any good father should. She sat up straighter when she heard what sounded like things crashing on the floor above her. Unsure what was going on she ran upstairs to see what it was.

Opening the door to Tamaki's office she stood in the doorway surprised by what she saw. Everything Tamaki had on his desk was pushed to the floor. His laptop was broken beside a wall. As she got to him he was pulling things off shelves.  
"Master Tamaki, Tamaki relax. What's wrong, talk to me? I am right here for you." She pulled him from the shelf and held him close, the way any mother held her child. She could feel the anger in his body letting up and soon he hugged her tightly while he cried.  
"Make it go away, make it all go away." He didn't want to let her go. Being in her arms and crying in her chest made him feel safe, like he was back in his mother's arms.  
"It's okay Tamaki, your safe here. Nothing is going to hurt you I promise."  
"I wanna go home."  
"You are home."  
"I wanna go home, back to Japan."  
She brought him to the window in hopes they could talk more.  
"Have you talked to any of your old friends?"  
Tamaki moved his head 'no'. "They blocked me."  
"They blocked you how sir?"  
"My phone won't connect me, none of the phones here will either. And my e-mails won't go through either."  
Ms. Smith held him tighter while she rubbed his back.  
"And my credit card won't go through. I have a spending limit placed on me it seems." He held on to her tighter while he cried harder. It was clear he wanted to go home, back to Japan. That whatever happened today at school wasn't the first time it happened. It was just the final straw for him.

Ms. Smith sat on the edge of Tamaki's bed watching him sleep. Or at least trying to, she could hear hiccupped sobs escape him every so often. She didn't want to leave him until she was certain he was asleep and relaxed. To her he was her son and she treated him as such. If he wanted to go back home then she would let Yuzuru know so he could help him. She could feel that he trusted her and cared for her. Yuzuru had told her that Tamaki had this way of creating a family atmosphere and she felt it. In Tamaki's eyes everyone that worked for him weren't employees they were family.

Tamaki woke up in the middle of the night seeing a tray of food on his desk. Even though it was cold it smelt good. Looking closer were instructions on how to re heat it in the microwave it seemed. It also said more was in the fridge, but what he noticed and made him smile was what was after it.  
_*If you need me Tamaki I am right in the guest bedroom. Please don't forget that.*_ Ms. Smith was so sweet towards him. That kindness, that motherly love towards him was the reason he could breath now and know he wasn't about to do something he would regret. He wasn't about to break any promise made, even if he couldn't contact the one he promised it to. Not even bothering to deal with manners he picked up the piece of meat and bit into it. It tasted good cold. Grabbing the can of soda on the tray he noticed two pain pills. Popping those in his mouth he walked out of his room. The house looked strange at night, so peaceful and calming. You could hear the waves crashing out back. He found himself sitting on the bench of the piano, a place he would always go to when upset. He finished eating the last hunk of meat and wiped his hand on his pants before placing his hand over the keys. Taking a deep breath he started playing the first thing that came to mind. Four notes in, he messed up over the keys. Taking a deep breath he started over. Again he messed up.  
"Damn it."  
Trying a new song he started again. His hand couldn't do it, it hurt too much which caused him to mess up. Slamming down on the keys in frustration he got up and walked to the window. The moon was full tonight; it looked beautiful over the water. Allowing the view to flood his body he fell asleep again. It seemed he was stuck here, here in this hell, this nightmare. He should re-adjust to the darkness. Allow his body to accept it again and stop fighting against it. Because that seemed to be the only way he could stay afloat in this world. Maybe some promises were meant to be broken.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yay a better version of 3. I like this chapter a lot better than the original and I hope you do to. Please leaves your thoughts for me.  
~Femalefighter~


	4. Forgive me Father

Chapter 4  
**Forgive me Father**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki woke up hearing a commotion in the house. Remembering last night's events he stretched and stood up off the window to see what was going on.  
"Ms. Smith is something wrong?" He moved down the hall to get closer to her. He noticed her head shot up and turned around hearing his voice.  
"Oh Master Tamaki, where were you?" She ran over to him making sure he was okay. By the sound of her voice he could tell she had been worried for some reason over something. Had they been robbed?  
"I was in the living room. I woke up last night and couldn't fall back asleep so I came down here in hopes of playing the piano. When I got tired I went to the window and stared at the moon over the water."  
"Oh thank god."  
"Ms. Smith?" He was hugged tighter by her. He didn't mean to scare her.  
"I had gotten scared when I went into your room to wake you and you weren't there. You had been so upset yesterday that I feared something happened to you."  
"I am sorry for worrying you. That wasn't my intention."  
"No apology needed, your safe and that is all that matters to me." Tamaki smiled as he hugged her back.

With that taken care of they walked into the kitchen for breakfast. He also wanted to comment on whatever he ate last night, it was so good.  
"Glad you liked it sir, to know it reheated well for you makes me happy."  
"Oh no I ate it cold. It was really good like that."  
Both Mr. Williams and Ms. Smith looked up at him surprised.  
"Sir you could have woken me up. I would have gladly heated it for you."  
"It's fine, really. Actually I was going to ask if I could bring the leftovers with me to school for lunch."  
"Su…sure sir if you would like that."  
"Tamaki, sir, why not stay home today? You don't have to go in if you don't want to."  
Tamaki looked up from his pancakes hearing what Ms. Smith said. Not going to school sounded like a great idea, but. "It's okay. I really should so I don't miss anything else. With finals next month I really need to attend."  
"Are you sure sir? You don't have to if you don't want to. And you know I can help you with your school work. So why not just stay here today? Your body could use today to heal as well." She really didn't want him to go, she feared for his safety now knowing what was going on inside of that school.  
"I'll be fine, really. While I thank you for your concern I promise its fine." Finishing up he excused himself to get ready to leave.  
"I truly hope your right Tamaki." Ms. Smith watched him leave before cleaning up his spot. "I hope Master Yuzuru will be able to talk to him."  
"I wouldn't worry Marie. Master Yuzuru truly cares for his son. I'm sure he can reach him."  
"I hope so."

Tamaki jumped into the shower to quickly wash his hair. Looking in the mirror he noticed his hair did not do well after napping all day yesterday and sleeping on the bay window. He was made fun enough as it was; he refused to give people another reason to. The more he thought about it the more his body told him to stay home. Why push his body to the limits of how much abuse it could take? Was he trying to kill himself? No, he just couldn't show Daniel he was weak. He wasn't, he was strong and just like everyone else. He would show that to him. He would show that to everyone. They would be sorry they ever doubted him. Running out of the bathroom to get dressed he noticed if he didn't hurry he would be late. Good thing it was warm, his hair could air dry. Once dressed he quickly made sure he looked okay before grabbing his backpack and running out of the room. Ms. Smith was at the door with the lunch he asked for. Throwing it in his back pack he left the house.

He stepped into his homeroom as the late bell rang, perfect timing. Taking his seat he opened his back pack to take out his notebook. He had nothing better to do anyway. Going through the two main parts he noticed it wasn't here. Did he leave it home? He must of since he couldn't find it here and he didn't think it was in his locker. Well it wasn't that big of a deal, his homework wasn't in it or anything. But still, now he wanted to know where he put it. He had been a wreck last night so he could have taken it out. This was going to bug him now, no, he wouldn't worry about it. He had it in his back pack when he left school so it must be home. Problem solved.

Tamaki was surprised that Daniel hadn't said a word to him at all when he walked in to class. Though he still had that smug smile on his face, whatever, he wasn't going to let it get to him today. By the end of class he was very surprised when Daniel said nothing again and just walked out. What was he planning? When he left with no trouble and got to his next class with no incident he was worried. He couldn't relax unsure when something would happen. Was this what Daniel wanted, to watch him jump, to be scared at every little thing? How evil was he then to never grant him piece? By lunch he was always looking over his shoulder, he would be happy to sit with others or even near them so he could blend in. Those thirty minutes were the most enjoyable of the day. Even his French class couldn't compare though it came close. Still as it drew to a close he was worried again. Would Daniel come up to him at his locker again?

At the final bell he ran downstairs to his locker so he could change his books as quickly as he could, check to make sure his notebook wasn't here, and get out of here. Once he was safely in his car he relaxed, nothing could hurt him now. As his driver opened his door so he could exit he smiled at the sun beaming down. Today had been a great day. Sure he had been scared for most of it but being scared won over getting beaten up any day.  
"Welcome home Master Tamaki. How was your day?" Ms. Smith greeted him at the door as she did every day.  
"Hello, thank you. It was good."  
"That's good to hear sir. Sir, you have guest today."  
"A visitor?" Oh crap what did Daniel find his address or something?  
Being pointed to the living room he dropped his back pack as he saw who it was.  
"F…father. What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming to the country."  
It was really his father sitting on the couch, he wasn't some illusion for no matter how many times he blinked the image stayed.  
"Hello Tamaki. I flew out on business and thought I would surprise you with a visit. You haven't changed a bit since you were a child. Still holding that same happy, surprised look on your face from when I used to visit in France."  
Tamaki remembered those days, he also remembered running into his arms to be picked up. It took a lot of focus to not run into his father's arms at this moment.  
"I'm glad you're doing well father." He could feel his face brimming with a smile.  
"I wish I could say the same for you Tamaki."  
Yuzuru stood up and moved closer to get a better look at his sons face. He had been hoping Ms. Smith had been lying about him being attacked. Seeing bruises on Tamaki's face broke his heart, he was really failing as a parent. He should have been here sooner so this never happened. Tamaki flinched and stepped back as his father touched his face.  
"What happened to your face Tamaki?"  
"N…nothing. I fell down the stairs yesterday at school."  
"And how is your back? Ms. Smith informed me of the chemical burn you received when I asked how school was going for you."  
"It's fine." It still hurt but he didn't want his father to know the truth. "Why are you really here father?"  
"I came to see how you were adjusting, Tamaki. Tomorrow I am going to talk to the Dean of your school to see how you are doing."  
For some reason Tamaki couldn't believe him.

Giving up trying to find the real reason he sat on the couch to just talk. He refused to tell his father the truth and the school wouldn't say anything either. Yuzuru wasn't going to start an argument with him either, not yet. Forgetting school for now they had a nice conversation. It had been a while since Tamaki had talked to his father because of the time difference between them. And it felt like much more time had passed because of what had/ was going on at school. At dinner the four of them all sat down together to talk at Tamaki's request. He wanted his whole family to eat together. Well his American family anyway. For it to be his entire family he would need his mother here as well.

Hearing that his mother was well made him happy. He didn't want his sudden departure to upset her. Making her sick was the last thing he wanted. Though thinking about his mother made him think about the fact that he couldn't reach her. Especially if she was still at his old house.  
"Father is there something special I have to do here to make a phone call?"  
"Not that I know of why?"  
"Well I…I tried to call mother the other night and my call wouldn't go through." He caught himself that time, he almost said Kyouya. That would have been bad. While his dad didn't have a problem with the idea that he had a thing for Kyouya he didn't want him to see how much he missed him.  
"Your cell won't work either?"  
"Nope."  
"I'll look into it after dinner for you then. I don't like that idea that you can't make calls."  
"Thank you father. I know my cell phone can make local calls."  
"Okay, that's good to know."

After dinner Tamaki ran upstairs to see if he could find his drawing notebook. He wanted to show his father how his left hand was getting better at doing the things he used to do with his right. If it wasn't in his backpack then it had to have been on his desk. Clearing his desk he couldn't find it. Flipping his backpack upside down to empty it he didn't see it there. He got down on his hands and knees to search under his bed. It had to be in his room since it wasn't at school. Now he was starting to worry as he tore his room a part looking for it. Wait, he had been in his office so maybe it was there. Yea, that was it, no need to panic yet. Backing out of his closet he stood up and ran to his office. He made quick work of his desk and went to the shelves he tore apart yesterday. Still nothing, now he as starting to panic; running back to his room he searched on the floor by his desk again. As he went to search the pile of books from his backpack again it hit him.  
"Oh god, please don't tell me." The memory of yesterday came back to him. He had to drop his backpack so Daniel could hit him. His friends were right there, they could have taken it. They probably could have taken his wallet too if it had cash in it.  
"No, god please, no." He sat on his knees defeated as tears steamed his face. His hands fell to his side unable to move. "What have I done? Kyouya, I am so sorry."

Yuzuru and Ms. Smith were near the stairs in the downstairs hall while Yuzuru tried the phone. It seemed strange that it wouldn't work but the numbers worked on his cell.  
"I have to call the phone company tomorrow and ask them why."  
"I can do it for you sir," She got cut off as they heard Tamaki scream from upstairs. "Oh dear not again." She followed Yuzuru upstairs and to his room to see it torn apart. They saw Tamaki in tears on the floor. He looked defeated but neither knew by what.  
"Tamaki, can you hear me? What's wrong, talk to me Tamaki?" Yuzuru knelt down in front of him, hands on his shoulders hoping to figure out what was wrong.  
"What have I done father?"  
"You haven't done anything Tamaki. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong." He looked down at Tamaki's wrists to see they hadn't been touched which was good but then what was it? What was bothering his son? He couldn't be losing his mind could he?  
"Oh father!" Tamaki moved forward to cry on Yuzuru, he couldn't believe he didn't see it sooner. Daniel had his drawing notebook which held the sketch of Kyouya. It was a rough drawing but a quick scan and a Google search would bring data on him. What if they tried to contact him, what if they tried to hurt his future?  
"It's okay Tamaki, your safe." Yuzuru couldn't stand not knowing what was wrong with his son. Tamaki didn't tear his room apart just for the sake of it.  
"It's gone father. I let them take it."  
"What is gone Tamaki, who took it?" Yuzuru looked over at Ms. Smith to see if she knew what he was talking about only to have her shake her head 'no'.  
"I'm so stupid."  
"No you're not. Now talk to me Tamaki. Who took something of yours?"  
"My notebook. It had something I didn't want people to see and it's missing."  
"Do you think it fell out of your back pack yesterday when you fell down the stairs sir?"  
Now she knew what he was talking about. Tamaki was always drawing in a notebook whenever he had free time. He told her it was the only thing he could do decently with his left hand that was why he was always in it. Both watched as Tamaki nodded yes while he still clung to Yuzuru like a child. At Ms. Smith's question Yuzuru got what she was asking. She asked if someone took it when they went after him.  
"I'm sure it will be fine Tamaki,"  
"No! It won't be! They weren't supposed to see it. How could I have been so stupid and allowed myself to draw it. I just wanna go home."

Yuzuru helped Tamaki downstairs where Ms. Smith was already making hot water for tea. Tamaki sat at the kitchen table playing with his hands while a few stray tears left his eyes. There were so many questions Yuzuru wanted to ask yet he knew Tamaki wasn't going to answer. Or if he did he would cry and they would be right back where they started.  
"Here Master Tamaki, drink this. It will help settle your emotions and allow you to relax." Ms. Smith handed him a cup to Tamaki and watched with Yuzuru as he just stared into it.  
"That notebook held something dear to my heart. No one should have seen it; I was stupid for drawing it." Drinking the hot water in three swigs he stood up from the table. "I am going into the living room to lie down, if that is okay."  
"Of course Tamaki, if you need something we are right here for you." Yuzuru watched Tamaki leave the room. The torment in his sons eyes were unbearable to watch. He wished that whatever troubles he faced he could take them away. But a wish like that was impossible to grant.  
"Please Marie, tell me everything. I need to save my son. If I ever lost him, well I don't know what I would become."

Yuzuru walked into the living room after learning all he could about what has happened here. Sitting on the couch he watched Tamaki sleep on the bay window. His head was turned out to stare into the backyard.  
"I thought coming here would be good for you but you seem to be in more pain than back in Japan. And you're still not talking. I won't sit here and watch you become sick again. I'm going to help you Tamaki whether you want me too or not." It was already arranged for him to speak to the principal of his school. He needed to know why the school was turning a blind eye to the fact that Tamaki was being bullied. A renowned school shouldn't tolerate it in the slightest for fear of getting a bad name but yet things still happened.  
"Kyouya…" Yuzuru said nothing as he heard Tamaki mumble his dear friends name followed by a single tear. He needed to know why he couldn't get through to Japan. Tamaki was a good kid; he didn't deserve to be alone.

The next morning Tamaki awoke in the living room again. He surprised himself by sleeping all through the night. Though he felt exhausted and the direct center of his being, where his soul dwelled ached. He should get up, go upstairs and get dressed so he could go to school, but. But, what if Daniel really did get his hands on his notebook then he didn't want to show his face there. Maybe he would get lucky; maybe Daniel would do nothing again. Maybe he would leave him alone. That would be great if he did, truly wonderful. Heading upstairs he showered and got dressed so he could have breakfast. Though, with the pain in his soul he wasn't all that hungry.

It felt strange to see his father at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the paper. Him just being here made him, happy. It made this place seem not so bad. Hearing that his father was going to his school later worried him. What if Daniel found out and thought he told someone about what they did to him?  
"Father, are you sure you want to go to my school? Wouldn't it be easier for you to call instead?"  
"Not really, this one on one time is so I can make sure your truly getting the proper education."  
"Oh. I see"  
"Don't worry Tamaki I won't be some parent that makes a scene. I do run a school after all. So I shall remain professional."  
Noticing Tamaki didn't even try to smile at his bad joke he's worry for him increased. He feared Tamaki was slipping back into depression and if that was true. If he truly was, would he be able to reach him. Last time Kyouya was able to get through to him but he wasn't here so could he, his father save him when last time he failed?

Tamaki got to school earlier than yesterday and opened his locker surprised to see his notebook on the top shelf. It hadn't been there yesterday he was sure of it. Flipping through it he noticed everything seemed intact, there were no notes written from someone else. Had he really just left it here the other day? Looking around him to see if this was real his closed it and stuck it in his back pack before closing his locker and heading to his homeroom.

Yuzuru sat across from the Ross school's principal. It only took a few minutes for him to see Tamaki's grade leaving plenty of time to go over what he really came here for. So far he hated the principal.  
"My son is bruised on his face, he was burned for Christ sake and your telling me it's nothing?"  
"Sir none of our students or staff, nor your son, made a claim about being abused here. Nor do we have video footage of him being attacked."  
"So you're telling me those bruises just so happened to appear?"  
"While I will not say that, it is possible. Mr. Suoh, your son was admitted into a hospital due to psychological issues correct?"  
"Back in Japan, yes. But he has been fine here. His bruises are not self inflicted! He had done nothing at home to show the same problem. Something is going on _here _at your school and I want answers. The people going after him should not be allowed to get away with it."  
"Mr. Suoh, no one here is going after him. The only incident reported was the one in the science lab and going over the video taken from the camera in the room I would hardly call it an attack."  
"Was anything done to the one then?"  
"I questioned him personally and he said it had been a complete accident. Unless there was evidence that he directly poured it on your son I am not allowed to suspend him. As for the even the day after as you claim, I have no record of it. I spoke to the nurse and she said she was told by _your_ son that he fell down the stairs."  
"But you have no video of him falling! And if you look at him his bruises are not ones you get from falling!" Yuzuru couldn't believe what he was hearing. The principal seemed determined to pin all of what happened on Tamaki alone. Unable to stomach anymore he stood up to leave.  
"Mr. Suoh, know that this school does not tolerate bullying of any kind. If it will ease your mind I shall hold something to remind my students of that."  
"What will ease my mind is seeing the ones who attacked my son behind bars." With that he left.

Getting back to the house he told Ms. Smith and Mr. Williams what went on. He needed others input on the matter. He needed to confirm that the bruises weren't self inflicted.  
"Sir, Tamaki hasn't done anything. When he was beaten up, you could just tell. The pain and tears in his eyes just told you what happened."  
"And I said that, I told the school about how he acted yet they shrugged it off. And, wait a second, how did they know?" That last part was meant for himself but it came out of his mouth for the other two to hear.  
"How could they know what sir?"  
"The principal brought up that Tamaki had been hospitalized in Japan. I never told them, they had no right to know. I doubt Tamaki would have either." Hearing that a thought occurred to Ms. Smith. "Sir, last week Tamaki asked me if it was possible for people to learn about him being French. He said someone brought it up yet he knows he never told them. Now while he does look it, he also doesn't. Could however they found out his background be the same way they found out he was in the hospital."  
"Possibly, but if that is the case then what else do they know?"

Tamaki got out of his French class and headed to his locker with a smile on his face. The day had been eventless which he loved. And he was enjoying his French class a lot. He loved the language growing up so it was nice to use it again. Getting done at his locker he headed to his waiting car. Today was only going to get better as he saw his father again tonight. He really hoped he could stay for awhile. He missed talking to him face to face and seeing him when he walked into a room. This excitement and happiness he felt made him feel like a little kid again. He didn't even wait for the driver to leave the car to let him out. Walking into the house he threw his bag to the floor by the stairs and went looking for his father. Seeing him in the kitchen he sat next to him once he grabbed something to snack on. He happily told his father about the good day of school. Yuzuru was happy to see Tamaki in a better mood from this morning which made him more relaxed. Though he wasn't ready to think that all of Tamaki's troubles were over, now he had to hope this light in his eyes lasted.  
"So father how did it go at my school?"  
"I am glad you are doing so well there being so late in the school year as well as it being a new language. Your principal, well I don't think we got along very well." Yuzuru was surprised when Tamaki started laughing.  
"Are you going to be in the country for awhile father?"  
"It looks like it. Probably two weeks at least why?"  
"Because it's great being able to spend time together and I was hoping it could last a little longer than when I moved here."  
Tamaki looked at his feet as he told his father the truth. It felt nice yet strange to tell him.  
"I figured I would make it up to you this time since I had to leave so suddenly before."

That night Tamaki laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He felt good, his burns didn't hurt too much anymore, his bruises didn't hurt, but mainly he got to spend time with his father. He was happy but then why did his chest hurt? Looking at his right arm he saw the cuts that he felt would never heal. Even uncovered from the bandages he wore a light jacket to hide them from his classmates. The longer he stared at the scabbing, red lines, the more he felt this desire to re open then. Trying to erase this he got under his covers to fall asleep for the night. He felt his eyes open and going to them. No, he couldn't do that. He promised he never would again. Should he tell his father about this sensation to cut himself? No, he didn't want to worry him and he didn't want to be sent to some stranger. It felt strange to think about talking about his problems to someone he didn't know. Getting up he walked into his bathroom to wrap it so he couldn't stare at it anymore. With that taken care of he went back into his bed and for the first time in what felt like forever he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I'm finally getting to what I want to get to. It's been slow I know but all of this is needed. Please, please review and let me know what you are thinking right now.  
Thank you. :)  
~Femalefighter~


	5. Taste More Tears

Chapter 5  
**Taste More Tears**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!  
A/N- Please know I do not approve of Daniel's character in anyway shape or form. I actually hate writing him.

Tamaki was so happy that his father had been staying over. It had been a great two weeks, school was going well, he hadn't been bullied or teased or anything, his bruises had gone away, and his burns were practically healed. He was…happy, something that seemed so far away two weeks ago. School was getting out in two weeks so finals started that last week. That was something Tamaki still needed to get used to. Usually in Japan they had school for a few days after their finals but here their last day of finals was also the last day of school. But still, two weeks, that was all he had to deal with before summer vacation. He always loved the summer for its warm weather, the beach, the sun. Yes, this was going to be a great summer. Maybe he would go into the city for a few days; he still had to see the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. Just the thought alone brought a smile to his face.

"So you're flying back to Japan later?"  
Tamaki sat across from his father as they both ate breakfast. Something Tamaki loved to do in the morning.  
"I am, my flight is at two so I'll have to leave soon after you do for school so I can make it on time."  
"Is it the same airport as the one we flew in on?"  
"It is, it's the closest international airport to here. The one near here only flies in the country."  
"I see, well have a safe flight. And father, thanks for coming to visit. I've had a lot of fun these past two weeks."  
"Glad to hear it Tamaki." Still he would have been happier if he ever found the ones responsible for harming his son. He talked to the principal again as well as the counselors and other administration looking for answers. He always fell short, none of them knew anything. They also said Tamaki barely spoke in class unless he was called on and that he never spoke to his classmates. So he wasn't making friends, he didn't want Tamaki alone out here.  
"Before you leave for school I want to ask you something Tamaki."  
He put his bagel down with raspberry jelly, it was his new favorite things to eat, and looked back at his father.  
"What's that?"  
"Do you want to fly home with me?" Two weeks ago Tamaki had mentioned it a few times to both him and Ms. Smith. Yuzuru refused to let Tamaki stay here if he was unhappy.  
"No thank you father." He smiled as he took another bite of his bagel.  
Everyone in the room was surprised by that. They all knew that Tamaki had begged to Yuzuru about going home soon after he showed up so why didn't he take the offer?  
"Are you sure Tamaki? There is nothing tying you to this place so if you wish to come back with me then come." He encouraged Tamaki to reconsider; America wasn't going to help him in any way. Yuzuru learned when he contacted the phone company that they had been told to block all but one number to Japan and his e-mail was strictly limited as well. He tried to lift the block on them but he was told only the account holder could do that. Hearing that his mother, Tamaki's grandmother, set the blocks infuriated him beyond belief. But, he couldn't ask her why she would do that until he went back home.  
"I am father. I know I said it before, that I wanted to but things have changed. I am liking school much better now than I was before so I want to stay."  
"Oh, looks like someone has a crush on a girl at school." Ms. Smith sat beside Yuzuru watching Tamaki blush awkwardly.  
"No, that's not…that's not it at all. Honest!"  
"I think you're on to something Marie. Tamaki is beat red." Yuzuru couldn't stop laughing at his sons reactions. It was hard not to though.  
"Am not! There is no such girl!" He shoved the last bite of his bagel in his mouth as he turned away from them.  
"Oh? But there is someone then? You can't fool your father Tamaki."  
"No there isn't!" He stood up and walked out of the kitchen leaving the others behind.  
"Tamaki come back."  
Yuzuru was still laughing as he finished his coffee and went back to the paper. Tamaki was too much when he got worked up. Ms. Smith felt bad for starting the whole thing and upsetting Tamaki. She was only teasing she never thought he would get upset.

Tamaki came back down a few minutes later to leave for school. Ms. Smith met him at the bottom of the stairs as she always did to see him off.  
"Sorry about this morning sir. Please know I meant no disrespect."  
"What? Oh that; don't worry about that. My father was the reason I got upset not you Ms. Smith."  
"Thank you sir, have a good day at school then."  
"Will do, see you later Ms. Smith."  
Yuzuru walked down the hall to see Tamaki off as well. They couldn't talk long or else he would be running late for homeroom. He would miss seeing his father around, it had been nice.

Stopping at his locker before homeroom he was surprised by something taped inside the door. Ripping it down he looked around him. How did that get there? What was going on?  
"Run Tamaki."  
"What?" Closing his locker door slightly he saw a male student from his homeroom staring into his own locker trying to look busy.  
"Daniel will kill you. There is a reason we don't say anything to anyone at this school."  
"What are you talking about?" He didn't get it, why would Daniel go after him again. He hadn't done anything and Daniel had been fine for two weeks so why now? And was he the one that got into his locker to post this picture of Kyouya with an X through it?  
"Oh Shit." _*Oh my god that was it, Daniel found out about Kyouya, he did steal my notebook two weeks ago and then placed it in my locker somehow._*  
"Daniel is so full of himself, he thinks that any male that is in fact interested in the same gender will or is flirting with him. That is why we try to tell no one. Run Tamaki." He closed his locker and stepped away to get to homeroom. "I'm sorry."  
Tamaki stood where he was for a moment, he was shaking. He could feel his whole body shaking in fear, what was he going to do? They knew about his relationship with Kyouya somehow. How were they finding this out? He never thought they would learn of that, information on Kyouya himself could be found easily but his relationships, he didn't think it was possible. Tearing the photo into small pieces he walked into his homeroom to throw it out. He noticed the guy he just talked to was shaking his head.  
"Alright everyone settle down so I can take attendance. You all have to attend an assembly when we get called down so let's get this over with."  
If they had an assembly than he probably wouldn't see Daniel for the day. Perfect, he loved when this happened, though this would be the first time it did.

The assembly was one that made Tamaki uncomfortable, it talked about bullying in the classroom. It went on about spotting it and how to handle it, things he knew about. What it didn't talk about was what to do when you knew you could be chased after and attacked if the ones looking for you knew you said something. It was a waste of time though it took him to the beginning of third period, gym. That was the only plus, no Daniel. Grabbing his backpack he headed to the locker rooms to change. He was able to relax as he changed and outside so the sport they were playing could get underway. He loved being outside and it seemed they got to take it easy today and play a game of soccer. He was in the locker room changing back into his uniform when he panicked at the voice he heard.  
"Hey Tamaki, long time no see." Daniel's two friends were on each side of him.  
"Do you want something?"  
"Want something? No, we just thought that we could talk."  
"Ummm okay."  
Tamaki was scared out of his mind and had every right to be as he noticed Daniel walked in, it was just the four of them in the room. What was going on? What was about to happen?  
"Well look who it here. It's been a while hasn't it." He could tell Daniel was messing with him as he got closer and what was it that he was holding in his hand behind his back?  
"What do you want Daniel?"  
"Now that is no way to treat a friend is it?" His friends pushed Tamaki closer, once he was arms distance Daniel slapped him across the face with enough force to send him to the floor.  
"I know your father has been searching for me. But he can't save you anymore can he? Did you not think that I wouldn't know that he was here a few times hoping for evidence that I hit you? What kind of fool do you think I am? Though I will give you credit for never saying my name to him. I guess for a faggot you know how to keep your mouth shut." Daniel kicked his stomach as Tamaki tried to stand back up. "You have some balls don't you, thinking you can be here. Don't you faggot? Answer me!"  
"I don't…I don't know what you're talking about!" Tamaki tried to stand up again and get away only to be pushed back down by Daniel stepping on his back.  
"Did you not see my message to you faggot? You're not welcome here, don't you see that? How can the school allow you to be here, you're disgusting! You should be with the girls so we don't have to worry about you watching us." Daniel lifted him up by his face to look into his eyes, to spend his message to his soul. "I hate thinking that you get a rise from being here, around my friends. I'll kill you if I find out I'm in your thoughts. You don't deserve to live, your nothing but a disgusting disgrace to the human race!"  
_*Oh god that guy was right, Daniel will kill me.*_  
Hearing the bell ring Daniel threw him on the tile floor. "We'll finish this later. Courtyard, lunch and don't try to run from me for I will find you." The guys all walked out of the locker room together leaving Tamaki on the floor, a scene he was used to by now.

Tamaki managed to stand up with the help of a wall and just took deep breathes. He couldn't even cry right now, his body wanted to but nothing happened. Forgetting about his next class he walked to the boys' bathroom to wash up and assess himself. He looked horrible, not even washing has face would work all that well.  
"Shit, now what should I do?" Dropping his gym bag and backpack on the floor he looked for a towel so he could dry his face once he was done washing it the best he could. Looking over, under the sink he saw something that caught his eye. Picking it up he had no idea what it was, it was not really bulky or long but it was oval shaped and it was in a hard plastic. Well part of it was, the other part looked metal. Seeing what looked like a piece shaped to be pulled out he did.  
"A cork screw?" That was strange, who carried around a cork screw? Pushing it back down he opened the next one. "Scissors? What is this?" Now he was really confused by this item in his hands. Pushing that down he moved to another, a nail file with a screwdriver, a flashlight, and tweezers. This was strange but cool. After school he was going to ask Ms. Smith what it was, he just had to know. Opening the last one he stared at it surprised to see what it was.  
"A blade? How did this get into the building?" Standing up he couldn't tear his eyes off the blade. It seemed to be in great condition. Out of the corner of his eye he saw himself, and his arm. He was a mess, his body couldn't cry, he wanted to, he wanted to explode. All he was and had been feeling had built up for so long and screamed for release.  
"What am I doing I can't do this." Shaking his head to regain his control he closed the blade. Not realizing he stuck it in his pocket and washed his face before walking out and going to the library. It wasn't really allowed but no one would really know or care that he wasn't sent by the teacher.

He stayed there for his two classes before lunch. Each passing second he became more and more worried. Maybe he should just leave school before then? Call Ms. Smith and tell her what was going on, what would happen if he stayed, surely she wouldn't make him stay. At the beginning of his class right before lunch he ran into the bathroom to call her. If she left now she could get to him before the class ended. Going through his back pack he dug out his cell phone. He pushed the power button only to watch it get to the company logo and turn off. That couldn't be right he charged it last night.  
"Please don't do this, not now, please not now." Trying again he watched it only get to the logo.  
"No…" Dropping his phone he leaned against the sink. This could not be happening. Jamming his hands into his pockets he felt the thing from earlier. In a second he had the blade open and was staring at it. His mind was screaming at him to do this, his vein seemed to pop out at him showing where to go. Deep down he knew he shouldn't but even his soul was telling him too, if his eyes couldn't let the pain out then his blood would. The initial pain from each cut hurt and made him flinch just a little but he could feel his pain leave him. He was still upset and depressed but not as badly as before. Now he was faced with a new problem, how to stop the bleeding. Rinsing it under water he was able to stop most of it but he still had to cover it. Wait, he was in a bathroom, the toilet paper would be good enough. Once that was taken care of his wiped the blade off, closed it, and stuck it back in his pocket.

At the bell for lunch he took his time heading to the cafeteria. This was it, he was in for it now; no one could or would help him. Walking in, he saw that no one else but Daniel and his friends were in the courtyard. Holding his backpack strap tighter he took a deep breath and walked out with them. Some of the guys on the team grabbed him and dragged him closer while some made sure the windows were blocked. Tamaki didn't have a chance to move before his arms were tied behind him and his mouth was gagged so he couldn't scream.  
"I should have never let you live before. I hate faggots like you!" Tamaki was forced to his knees as he was punched in his stomach. "How many have you stared at in the locker room? Your kind makes me sick. Absolutely disgusting." Tamaki could feel his body bruising as each punch landed. Daniel's friends joined in he believed as he saw one of them burn him with a lit cigarette.  
He could do nothing but watch as they harassed and abused him for what seemed like hours.  
_*Make it stop, please god I'm sorry for all I've done just kill me now. Kill me so this pain will end.*_  
So this was the true reason Daniel hated him, all because he had been with Kyouya, another male. But then what was the reason for the abuse before? Even if he had he never tried or wanted to be with Daniel or his stupid friends. He couldn't hear what they were saying anymore as his mind was trying to deal with the pain. Feeling his body being lifted up he opened his eyes and watched himself being thrown into a tall bush. The guys moved away and sat by the benches as a teacher walked into the courtyard.  
_*See me, please for the love of god see me.*_ His eyes pleaded through the branches that the teacher looked for him. It sounded like someone had her come out here because they saw them beating someone up. She looked around but didn't get close enough to the bush he was in.  
_*Damn it.* _Turning his head to the grass he let the tears fall from his eyes at last and let it soak into the soil.

Something woke up Tamaki though he hadn't realized that he fell asleep until his eyes opened. He smelt something, something hot, something burning. His hands were still tied so moving wasn't really possible. Shifting just enough he saw past his legs. It was glowing, right by his feet, a small fire was started but he knew it wasn't going to stay small forever.  
_*Oh my god. I'm going to burn to death.*  
_There was no way this could be real, it all had to be a dream and soon he would wake up from it. Yes, that it, a dream. This had to be a dream.  
_*Maybe this is my answer to my prayers, maybe this is the end because I asked for this life to end.*_ Closing his eyes he stopped trying to move out of the bush and away from the fire. If this was the end then so be it. Still as he accepted his coming death he thought of his father and Kyouya. Kyouya, he alone was the reason he told his father no this morning to going back to Japan. He would have said yes but he couldn't go to Japan and ask Kyouya to take him back. Kyouya had no reason to after all he did to him and so him staying in America was for the best. He tightened his eyes to keep them shut and bit down on what was gagging him as the fire reached his shoe. Trying not to think about the pain of being burned alive, or beat up because he was gay, or French, or any other reason he was hated he thought of Kyouya and all their moments together. He started from the very beginning and let each memory, each time they hung out, big or small replay in his mind. With that he accepted his coming fate with a tear in his eye but a smile on his face.  
_*Kyouya, I love you. Forever and Always.*_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I was going to continue this chapter but after thinking it over stopping here is best. Don't hate me too much for I already do. I hope to update soon and with the internet delaying the post of this I plain to have the next chapter started by the time you read this chapter. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	6. Hospitalized Yet Hopeful

Chapter 6  
**Hospitalized yet Hopeful**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki stood surrounded in darkness he couldn't see, he couldn't hear, was this death? Was this his fate, not to go to heaven or hell but this dark world between them? Would he be safe here? He wouldn't mind spending eternity here so long as he was safe. The darkness was overwhelming though, it didn't let any light in. It seemed no matter where he went he couldn't see. How could there be no light and how come his eyes couldn't adjust? He fell to his knees as sounds echoed around him; he covered his ears trying to block the sounds out. It wasn't stopping, the sound kept echoing, it seemed the whole area was shaking.  
"Make it stop, no more. Please, PLEASE!"

Tamaki's eyes opened wide before they closed again. His breathe was quickened from coming out of the dark world he was just in. Allowing his breathe to go back to normal his other senses were able to restart and work. He could hear sounds though they weren't as loud as just before. It also felt like something was touching his left hand. He was scared to open his eyes and see the darkness again. There was no point in waiting if he was dead, he would have to open his eyes eventually. Maybe in doing so he would find the light of an exit. Slowly opening his eyes he braced himself for whatever was coming.  
"Master Tamaki! Sir, oh thank goodness. Can you hear me sir? Can I help you with something?" Looking over he saw Ms. Smith leaning over the bed holding his hand securely in hers. So that was what he felt. Taking his eyes away from her he scouted the room. He was in a hospital bed, he couldn't see his legs, or barely feel them and his right arm was in a cast. Actually the more he looked he realized he was covered in bandages and he hurt. His whole body hurt, some places were worse than others.  
"Sir?"  
Looking back over at Ms. Smith he realized she was getting blurry, he seemed to be crying.  
"Don't cry sir everything is okay now. You're safe and you're awake." She sat next to him and held him the best she could with all the wires hooked up to him. He wasn't sure why exactly he was crying. Was it because he was actually alive, or because he was hurt, or was it all three, or maybe it was none of them at all. Pulling away he wiped his eyes the best he could. Having his arm in a cast sucked already.  
"Do you want me to get your nurse sir?"  
He shook his head no and took her hand again.  
"Please just stay right here with me a little while longer before you do."  
"As you wish sir."  
They say together, Tamaki leaned against her just as he would his own mother. He treated her as such and he loved her as much as he did his own. If he closed his eyes he would see her behind his eyelids.

Tamaki sat up and shifted as best he could on the bed. He was getting uncomfortable and his injuries were starting to really hurt.  
"I am going to get your nurse I bet your medication is wearing off. I'll be right back." Moving off the bed as carefully as she got on she left the room. He still wanted answers, no he needed answers. Once she came back he took her hand after she settled back down in the chair besides his bed. He needed to hold on to someone, this feeling in him told him to not let them go, that he needed to feel someone close to him at all times. He didn't want to be or feel alone right now.  
"Your father should be here shortly sir."  
"My father? Shouldn't he be in Japan?" Hearing that only brought more questions though.  
"No I just caught him before he boarded his flight. I had been called about you and I called Master Yuzuru hoping to catch him before he took off. He called just before you woke up saying he was in the area finally but he was stuck in traffic."  
"I see. Ms. Smith, please tell me. How was I found, please I need to know."

She didn't want to, not until Yuzuru showed up but it seemed she didn't have a choice.  
"The janitor noticed a bush on fire in the courtyard, since it was past lunch he thought either someone threw a cigarette out the bathroom window on the second floor or just the dry weather got to it. After he put the fire out he searched to see if there was a specific source or not and that is when he found you." She wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. Getting that phone call was one of the worst once she ever got, seeing him once she was arrived was topping another list as well. Her nightmares seemed to come back again at seeing him once she was allowed in.  
"You have third degree burns on your legs, three broken ribs and two cracked and as you can tell a broken arm. It is broken in two places, as well as dozens of cuts and bruises. Master Tamaki please, please tell me how this happened and no more lying."  
He could see in her eyes how much she was begging for the truth and for some of his answers to be given he had to answer some of her questions.  
"Ms. Smith what does the word faggot mean exactly?"  
"What? Master Tamaki please don't tell me someone called you that." She sat forward in her chair praying he would say it wasn't so. When he said nothing but looked down she had her answer to that question and her others.  
"What does it mean?"  
"It means…it's used as a derogatory word for homosexuals' sir. It's proper definition is a bundle of twigs or sticks but that isn't how it is used anymore. Why didn't you tell your father about this sir? He needed to know what was going on."  
"I never knew, I mean I knew they hated me but today was the first day I knew why. They learned more about my past through my own stupidity. They called me it a lot but I never knew what it meant and I don't think they used it as truth before today." He could feel his eyes start to water again. His mind started to play back all that happened at school, those memories hurt as much as the actual events and he figured this would haunt him for as long as he lived. Trying to stop the memories he looked at the clock on the wall, nine-thirty pm and it sounded like he arrived here around two pm. So that means he had been in that bush for at least an hour before it was set on fire.  
"Ms. Smith?"  
"Yes sir?"  
"Thank you for staying here with me."  
Gently she touched his face, caressing it as a mother did for her child to calm them down, to comfort them.  
"Don't mention Tamaki, you're a son to me. Tamaki I want to tell you something. There is a specific reason your father hired me to help you. I had a son that was around your age when he committed suicide when he was your age. So I know about depression and all those affects with it. Please come talk to me if something is going on. I do not want to lose another son."  
He noticed she was looking at his arm in the cast, she must have found out that he cut himself at school before all of this happened. He never she had a son though he felt she had wonderful motherly instincts and personality. He must have really scared her when she was informed of this and the events from the other weeks.  
"I will I promise, I'm sorry for saying anything sooner."  
The nurse walked in than and both stopped talking so the nurse could do her job. She asked him a few questions before adding more pain killers to one of the IVs he was hooked up too. Great timing too since the pain was really getting intense. As she was finishing up the three of them looked up at the door. Yuzuru was standing in the doorway slightly red in the face frustrated.

"Tamaki, oh thank god!"  
Ms. Smith stood up to give Yuzuru a chance to be with his son alone. Seeing his face just now she could tell how worried he had been since her phone call.  
"Father, I'm sorry I made you miss your flight."  
"Don't be stupid Tamaki, this isn't your fault. I knew I should have pulled you out of that school."  
"But I don't want to leave."  
Yuzuru held back his urge to yell at Tamaki for trying to fight him. It would help nothing and all that mattered was that he was alive. While Tamaki's recovery wouldn't be easy or quick it would still be okay because he was still breathing. Yuzuru watched Tamaki fight off sleep to continue to talk with him though nothing had really been said.  
"Why not get some sleep Tamaki I'll be back tomorrow." It took him awhile to allow the front desk to let him in since it had been close to the end of visiting hours when he arrived but seeing Tamaki awake and alert was good enough for him right now. Getting a phone call right as he was heading to his flights terminal saying that Tamaki was being rushed to the hospital and not knowing anything but that it was serious he got on the first thing he could take him here. When he called stuck in traffic he got more details which only made him more concerned and worried his need to get to Tamaki increased. He needed answers as to what happened and to see that Tamaki would be alright. He got that so now he could let him rest for the remainder of the night.  
"Father I…I don't want to be alone."  
Yuzuru looked to see Tamaki scared, so that was why he wouldn't allow himself to fall asleep, he was scared to.  
"I promise you Tamaki, your safe here but do you want me to see if someone can stay near your room tonight?"  
He slowly nodded his head yes, he was so scared that someone would come for him if they knew he was alive.  
"Alright I will now try to get some sleep. Your body will heal faster if you do."  
"Yes father. See you tomorrow and thank you Ms. Smith for staying with me. I hope you come back tomorrow if you can."  
"Of course sir. See you tomorrow."  
Soon after they left Tamaki fell asleep for the night.

Ms. Smith handed Yuzuru a cup of tea as they sat across from each other at the table. Yuzuru wanted to know everything she did. His son was almost killed today and the reason he didn't yet know. What she told him infuriated him as well as frightened him.  
"Tamaki says they never knew that he had been with another male until today so as to why they went after him before he doesn't know."  
"The other person was someone he cared for a great deal and would say nothing about their relationship for fear of hurting the other person. I never imagined Tamaki would face trouble like this here."  
"It's a big topic right now all across the country. Many are divided and hate crimes happen often, not that I am defending to the others actions towards Tamaki."  
"Hate crimes or not we need to find those responsible and press charges than find out what the hell is going on at that school."  
Ms. Smith said nothing about learning from the doctor that Tamaki had cut himself, or showed signs that he had cut himself. She wanted to talk to Tamaki about it more before she told Yuzuru.  
"Thank you Marie for telling me all that you know and for staying by my sons side now knowing more about him. He truly cares and trusts you which makes me feel slightly better. Tamaki has already had one hell of a year and it seems it's only going to get harder before it ends so knowing he has someone else on his side is reassuring."  
"Don't mention it sir, I told you from the very beginning I would stay by his side as long as he allowed me."

Tamaki woke up finally happy to know it was a decent hour to be up. He kept waking up since four and then tried to fall asleep. Since it was eight-thirty he could stay awake. When the nurse come in to charge his bandages on his legs he closed his eyes, he couldn't look at them. He couldn't see the burns, blisters and cuts on them, he felt how bad it was that was enough.  
"Miss, I have a question. Will my legs ever look good again?"  
The nurse finished wrapping his left leg before she answered. It was hard to see someone so beat up and injured when they were so young. She also heard rumors that this happened at a local school only making her feel worse for him.  
"You'll probably need plastic surgery to remove the scars."  
"I see, will I be able to use my legs again?"  
"You should but you'll probably need to go to burn therapy treatment and be confined to a wheel chair during that time but after you could probably walk again."  
"That's good. My arm is bad enough, but my legs are another story."  
"Sports player?"  
"No, I just like to be active, swim, run, all those things."  
"Well take it easy here and you be able to continue all of that."  
She was surprised by how optimistic he was, most weren't. This had to be a good sign for him. Soon after she left Ms. Smith showed up and told him that Yuzuru was talking to his doctor.

After seeing how he was feeling she brought up something that had been one her mind since she learned of it yesterday.  
"Tamaki where did you get a Swiss army knife?"  
"A what knife?"  
"A Swiss army knife, the EMT's found one in your pocket when they tried to get to your legs."  
"Oh so that's what's it called. I got it in school."  
Ms. Smith didn't know how to respond to that, the school had a very strict weapons policy so then why did they allow something like that in the school?  
"You got it from the school?"  
"No it was under the sick in the boys bathroom I never saw anything like it before and forgot it stuck it in my pocket after I…never mind."  
"Sir, after you did what?" She followed as his eyes wondered to his arm in the cast, so that's how he cut himself. It wasn't earlier at home like she suspected.  
"So it's called a Swiss army knife, they are so cool because it has such different tools on it."  
"I'll have to get a catalog and bring it here so you can see all the different types available then."  
"Really? There are different types? So cool!"  
Ms. Smith stopped herself from laughing at his excitement. Tamaki was in such a cheerful mood which wasn't at all what she expected since it hadn't even been twenty-four hours. She was concerned about finding out how long this would last though. In reality this mood had to last while he underwent therapy and any reconstructive surgery. But this mood would help him, he would help him, he would heal faster with this attitude and drive to get better.

Tamaki was happy that those around believed he was okay. He didn't want them know that he cried when he was alone or that if he fell asleep before he took more pain killers he woke up screaming. A part of him wished Daniel had killed him. How he was now was pitiful but then how come he couldn't tell his father the truth? Later in the day a cop came over to ask questions, find out what really happened. He told them in the best detail he could muster what was done to him. But, he never said a name. Yuzuru figured he was lying, if this had been going on since Tamaki, came to the school than he knew exactly who they were. Normally he would get upset at him for holding back but at least he was talking about it and it was still early. Maybe as time passed he would get Tamaki to say names and stop defending those that tried to kill him. Even the cop insisted he give names since this was already a case but if it truly was a hate crime then the needed to find them. The questions stopped when Tamaki started to really hurt again, and started falling asleep.  
Ms. Smith stayed in his room while Yuzuru stepped out with the cop.  
"Tamaki what they have done to you that you can't speak their names?" She whispered softly as he moved his bangs to watch his sleeping face more clearly.  
Tamaki drifted off with only one thought in his mind,  
*So what happens to me now?*

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God this chapter is so slow and boring. Also my mind isn't up to proof reading so please forgive I will try to re read it later. But let me know what you think as always. Please Review.  
~Femalefighter~


	7. Rest and Reasons

Chapter 7  
**Rest and Reasons**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki wanted to go home he was tired of staring at the bland white walls. The beeping of monitors was burned into his mind by now making them easy to tune out. The longer he stayed stuck in this bed the more depressed he became. Even having constant company of his father, Ms. Smith or both he couldn't overcome the lonely feeling pitted at the bottom of his chest. It wasn't helping that today started summer vacation and here he was still in the hospital with no date on when he could go home. Some vacation was turning out to be. He didn't even want to think about the finals he missed, he would probably have to repeat this year, but maybe that wouldn't be so bad. If he stayed as a junior than he would never see Daniel. Stupid Daniel for doing this to him; for forcing him to be locked in the hospital for an ungodly amount of time.  
"Uhhhhh!" Huffing he tried to sit up in the bed, he was uncomfortable, he couldn't take it anymore. Hearing birds chirp he turned to the window to see the blind closed. That's right he asked the nurse to keep it closed this morning. He didn't want to see what he couldn't enjoy.  
"Hello Tamaki, sir!" Ms. Smith walked in to see him staring at the closed blind. His eyes squinted as the light from outside flooded in. "That's better. How do you feel today Tamaki?"  
"Can I go home yet?" Pushing his bangs in front of his eyes he looked over at her, with this the sun didn't seem so bad.  
"Your father is going to find out when he shows up."  
"Then I feel like crap." Folding his arms he blew up at his bangs. If his father wasn't here now then that meant he was at the police station trying to figure out the names of the guys who did this, again. Yesterday he didn't show up until four and by that time the doctor had already left, he was never going to get out of here.  
"Oh now don't say that sir, you'll be out of here before you know it."  
"Says the one who can leave tonight."  
"I know its hard Tamaki but just remember this isn't forever."  
"Sure feels like it."  
"Maybe I can get your mind off it."  
"You can try I guess."

"What did you do before you worked for my father?" Tamaki had been trying to hold a conversation with Ms. Smith since she was trying hard to distract him. He had always wondered about that but he never wanted to bring it up. Ever since he woke up here and she mentioned losing her son he grew even more curious. If she didn't want to talk about it than he wouldn't force her.  
"You want to know what my previous job was sir?"  
"I want to know more about you Ms. Smith. If you would rather not than you don't have to." It wasn't that she didn't want to she was just surprised by the request. She didn't think Tamaki really cared to know before.  
"I used to work as a high school teacher up until three years ago. I met your father through a friend of mine who owns a house cleaning business in the area. He wanted someone who could live at the house with you so you wouldn't be totally alone. I had no reason not to stay at your house so I took the job."  
"What about your own family? You told me you had a son right? So were you married?"  
"Wow you are the curious one today aren't you?"  
"I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it I understand. You are allowed your privacy after all."  
"I'm divorced. After the death of my son my husband and I had trouble staying together. Separating seemed to be the only way to stop from attacking each other."  
"I'm sorry Ms. Smith for your sons' death as well as the fallout of your marriage."  
"Thank you sir but, it's okay."  
"Can I ask one more question, do you know why your son decided to do what he did?"  
Ms. Smith sat back in her chair to allow her mind to remember. It wasn't hard to; she spent years trying to forget the image of finding him. The image she knew she never would, it had been her child, her baby boy she found in his room, covered in his own blood, the gun, his father's gun, in his hand.  
"I do not know, both my ex husband and I thought he was happy. He did well in school, was the captain of the football team, had a lot of friends, was planning to go to college on full scholarship and then one day I came home from work and found him in his room with his father's hand gun. A single bullet, that's all it took, I called for help but by that time it was already too late. That is why I don't want to not talk to me if something is going on. I don't want to lose you either."  
"Yes ma'am, of course I'll come to you for anything."  
"Thank you Tamaki. Now, if you don't mind I have a question for you. Why will you not tell your father about the people who hurt you? Your father is concerned for you and cannot figure out why you insist on hiding their identities and why you want to go back to that school this fall."  
Tamaki tried to readjust himself hoping to avoid her question. It was only fair that he answer her though after she answered his questions.  
"Changing schools will solve nothing for me. I am being picked on because I am new, and foreign. I won't tell my father because it won't make a different. If the guys knew I told someone they would know I was still alive and come after me for telling on them. I am safer this way."  
Saying that only launched Ms. Smith into more questions and arguments. Tamaki's reasoning didn't make sense to her. They probably wouldn't make sense to anyone.

Seeing Yuzuru show up at lunch time made Tamaki hopeful that he would get a release date soon. He couldn't get reconstructive surgery until his legs started to heal more. Who knew how long that could take and everyone kept saying he wouldn't have to stay here so long as it didn't get infected so then why wasn't he given the okay to go home yet?"  
"Alright Tamaki you are coming home today."  
"Really?" Had he really heard his father right just now? Was he really going home today?  
"Yes, the doctor will be in here shortly to tell you a few things then you can come home."  
"Finally!"

Okay so maybe this wasn't the best thing to happen to him. As they pulled up to his house he was told that he wouldn't be allowed in his room, actually he wasn't allowed upstairs at all. The plus side was that thanks to the house not being narrow he wasn't confined to only the living room. Sadly all he could do down here besides sleep was watch TV. Well he could use his laptop but he didn't have a whole lot to do on it and with his arm in a cast still he couldn't even try to play the piano. At least he could enjoy the nice weather; he had opened the windows in the house to let the breeze in. He enjoyed the smell of the ocean around him. As much as it sucked not being able to do much at least he was home.

Tamaki quietly celebrated as he got off the couch and into the wheelchair without help. It wasn't the easiest thing to do and it hurt but succeeding felt great. He couldn't handle watching TV anymore; he wanted to enjoy the sun and nice weather. Not being as active as he was used to was sucking. This inactivity would turn him fat; perfect that would be just what he needed. Wheeling himself out of the room and down the hall to the glass slider turned out to be another challenge at first but once he figured out how to move and not hit the walls he was fine. Getting up to the railing of the porch he inhaled the summer air. The sun felt great on his skin, so warm, so inviting. Wanting to get comfortable he rolled over to the lounge chair under the large red wood tree that covered the chair and almost half the porch in shade. Making sure the wheelchair wasn't going to move when he tried to stand he leaned over to place his good arm on the back padding of the chair. Sitting up a little straighter he threw his weight over to land on the chair. Surprising it hurt less than before when he got off the couch. It took some time to get comfortable though since he only had one arm to use to help him but he managed. Closing his eyes he allowed the beautiful day to drift him into a peaceful sleep. All of his problems, worries, and sorrows could now melt away.

His dream of everything being back to normal, of him being happy ended when a voice broke through it. Slightly agitated by the interruption he opened his eyes in hopes to tell whoever it was talking to lower their voice. Looking over he saw Ms. Smith, hands on her hips, standing next to his lounge chair.  
"Is something wrong Ms. Smith?"  
"What are you doing Tamaki? Are you trying to get me trouble with your father?"  
"No I'm not. What did I do wrong?"  
She huffed at his lack of understanding, clearly he didn't see it. "If you wanted to come out here you should have told me. How did you get out here?"  
"Oh. Well I got tired of the living room so I decided to come out here."  
"By yourself? Did Mr. Williams help you?"  
"No I was able to do it by myself." He smiled proud of his accomplishment. He couldn't figure out why Ms. Smith wasn't proud of his achievement as well.  
"You should have gotten me to help you. What would you have done if you had gotten hurt? Or if your father showed up to see you? I had no idea where you were."  
"I'm sorry Ms. Smith; the thought never dawned on me. I don't want to get you in trouble." He felt bad for worrying her and running the risk of getting her in trouble but at the same time he hated being treated like a child. He wasn't five, he didn't have to be watched constantly to make sure he didn't get into things he wasn't supposed to.  
"I'm sorry Tamaki; I didn't mean to get upset with you. I just want you to stay safe. Your legs are still healing so being on them isn't good. I know you hate always having to rely on me but I want you to. That's what I am here for."  
"I'm sorry for worrying you, next time I want to move I'll get you."  
"Good, thank you. Now dinner is ready let me help you inside."  
"Actually, can we eat out here tonight? It's so beautiful out we should enjoy it."  
Allowing herself to smile she forgave Tamaki's recklessness and agreed to his request.

In three days he was set for surgery to help repair the natural look of his legs. It had already been a month since it happened so in Tamaki's mind it was about time. They didn't hurt so much anymore which was good but he still couldn't handle to look at them. He did once and cried over the blisters, and leathery look, not to mention that seeing them nearly made him sick. Apparently once he got this cosmetic surgery he could start physical therapy for burn victims. That name was still hard to believe. He was actually a burn victim. It didn't seem real, only people involved in house or vehicle fires went for that. Not people who were attacked and set on fire; that only happened in movies, not in a high school. Why did he want to go back in September? His father had offered him two choices, to go to a different high school his senior year or be homeschooled. He chose neither, to stay at the school he was in. No one liked this choice. Yuzuru was threatening to decide for him if he didn't change his mind. Why couldn't he pick a new school? Why did he want to go back? There was nothing there waiting for him. The staff didn't care what happened to him, and the students made it blatantly obvious that they all wanted him dead. So why go through it all again?

The surgery had gone well, only a few spots were scarred but for the most part his legs looked great. The scarred spots weren't even that bad, he could easily pass them off for something else. One looked like a birth mark which helped. The therapy on the other hand, well let's just say he hated it. It hurt a lot more than the one for his hand did. It wasn't so much painful to tears as it was painful from not using his legs in so long. Everyone said he was progressing faster than most so he used that as a pushing tool. It kept him going everyday and every session. It sucked only having one arm though, it made standing using the rails difficult, someone had to always support him so he wouldn't fall. The cast wouldn't come off until September though so he still had another month and a half, two month with it on. He was glad it hadn't started to itch yet, once or twice it would but it wasn't too bad. That night Tamaki tossed and turned on the pullout bed. He couldn't stand it he just couldn't get comfortable and fall asleep. Rolling over again he looked up through the bay window he loved to sit at and saw the full moon lighting the room. Maybe he would fall asleep watching it tonight, yea that would work.

Moving towards one side he swung his legs over, he wouldn't be able to stand and walk over but his wheelchair was beside him so he should be fine. There was plenty of light so he could see everything and get to the window without a problem. Making sure the wheelchair was close enough he stood up to sit on it. As his leg went to the foot holder it slipped off sending him to ground. The wheelchair flipped over causing it to land on top of him. His legs were in pain from falling, standing, and from the part of the chair that was now on top of him. Managing to push it off he laid on the floor unable to stand, the pain he felt escaped his lips every so often until he tried to sit up to move back to the bed. The pain soon turned to tears as his arm gave out and he hit the floor. He couldn't handle this anymore, why didn't he just die back then? Why did God allow him to live and go through this? He hated this, all of this. There was nothing here that wanted him alive so why couldn't he give them what he wanted? The tears intensified as he wished he could cut himself, even without an object to do it he couldn't. His right arm was casted and he could barely move his fingers to hold something. Curling up as tightly as he could he cried himself to sleep, his whole body was in pain both physically and emotionally causing his dreams to be about being happy. That simple emotion was something his body didn't seem to remember. It had been so long since he truly was, for months he had used that fake smile making that all his body knew.

Ms. Smith walked into the living room to see Tamaki on the floor. Only exhaling when he moaned and opened his eyes she helped him sit up before getting Yuzuru's help to stand him up. They got him back on the bed where he laid down with his back to them.  
"Sir do you want me to bring you something? Are you hungry?"  
"No thank you." Both noticed how emotionless his voice sounded scaring them.  
"Tamaki what happened last night?"  
"Nothing father. I want to go back to bed."  
Yuzuru nodded to Ms. Smith for them to leave the room and let him sleep a little longer. He heard them leave before he brought the covers up to his face. He couldn't stop the tears from falling from his eyes again.  
"Make it go away." Tightening his grip on his covers he allowed the tears to pick up into a steady stream down his face. Maybe when he opened his eyes this nightmare, the pain would end.

All day Yuzuru stayed in the living room to keep an eye on Tamaki. He had feared a day like today would happen. The good attitude Tamaki carried was bound to wear off sooner or later and then this would happen. For now all he could do was watch him and keep him safe as best he could. He would do all he could to keep his son safe here. He had failed the first time but he wouldn't again. He would be a father to his son, a good father. He would make it up to him for failing him both in Japan and here in New York. He would get Tamaki to smile again, to let his pain seem like a thing of the past that he could forget one day. He would remember how to live happily.

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Sorry for taking so long to update. This chapter kinda sucks but the next one things should really start to move so it should be better and up faster than this. Please review and let me know what you think.  
~Femalefighter~


	8. Enter In Elizabeth

Chapter 8  
**Enter In Elizabeth**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing! I also hate writing Daniel's character.

By the end of August Tamaki was able to walk on his own. At times he would have trouble but most of the time he could go anywhere in the house on his own. This came at the best time too because in two weeks he started school again, his senior year. Ms. Smith had helped him catch up and pass the tests he needed to become a senior. Everyone in the house was still upset with him for deciding to go back to the Ross school but that would stop soon enough as his grandmother was flying in. It seemed she was coming to New York to see progress on the family school and to settle this issue with his school. It seemed Yuzuru told her what was going on here and she wanted answers for herself. What happened to Tamaki affected her as well and this event hurt her pride. He wondered if she knew about the real reason he was beaten up this last time, and if so then how pissed off would she be at him? Hopefully his father would say nothing to her about that and any rumors she would shake off. The last thing he wanted was for her to be mad at him, maybe move him again, or possibly disown him.

Standing in front of the mirror Tamaki checked his reflection to make sure he looked perfect. His grandmother would be arriving soon. Something about her visit didn't sit right with him. He was hoping he was just paranoid and nothing more. Paranoia was something he was getting used to since he moved here.  
"Master Tamaki your grandmother's car has just pulled up."  
Looking over his shoulder he saw Ms. Smith in the doorway waiting for him. "Did you need help with something Master or are you okay?"  
Pulling down his dress shirt to make sure it was snugly tucked in his pants and he checked himself in the mirror again he turned to face her.  
"I'm ready, I can't keep her waiting." Walking out of the room and down the stairs he saw his grandmother in his living room. He hadn't seen her since before he stayed with Kyouya for two weeks many months ago.  
"Grandmother it's a pleasure to see you again. I hope your trip here went well." Tamaki could tell she was scanning him over. In order to not let her eyes bother him too much he moved his gaze, he shifted off of her and on to the person sitting next to her. He had never seen her before but he could tell she was close to his grandmother. She looked to be about his age with long red hair that stayed neatly behind her. Her eyes were a deep brown that was also checking him out. Her frame was slender and shown through the designer dress she wore.  
"Tamaki this is Elizabeth Rockefeller, her family owns Rockefeller center as well as a few other trademark locations in the city."  
"Hello Tamaki, it's a pleasure to meet you. It seems we are neighbors. Such a shame it took us months to finally meet."  
"The pleasure is mine Elizabeth. It's truly an honor to meet someone as beautiful as yourself." Taking her hand he brought it to his lips, something that felt so foreign to him. He used to do it all the time to his ladies at the host club but hadn't since coming here.  
"Such a gentleman, though I would expect nothing less from the Suoh men."  
As Tamaki was finally allowed to sit across from them and relax a little he got the feeling that Elizabeth was here for a certain reason. A reason he would find out as soon as he was alone with his grandmother so it wouldn't be rude to her.

About an hour after, Elizabeth had to leave so she could attend some family event. Once his grandmother was certain she wasn't coming back she got down to business.  
"You will date Elizabeth to get these rumors I am hearing off you. You will also ask for her hand but I will allow you to decide when you want to. Do not blow this Tamaki, her family is well known and their success has been around for generations. Our family will greatly benefit from a union with them."  
"Of course Grandmother I will not let you down."  
"If you do, I will ship you back to France with nothing do you understand?"  
"I do, I promise to do exactly as you instruct."  
"Now answer me this, why do you want to go back to the school you are currently enrolled in?"  
This was the question he was waiting for, while the order to date Elizabeth surprised him it also didn't. He also knew one of the reason she flew out was because of this, he got that from talking with her before.  
"Well because you have always taught me to not appear cowardly towards others. If I leave the school that is causing me problems than I am showing them that they won. I am getting a good education at the Ross School which is all that really matters. In real life I will deal with people who do not like me and there I cannot leave so I should not leave the school."  
"Well said Tamaki, you are learning well it seems. Then you shall stay where you are at."  
"Thank you very much Grandmother."  
She said nothing back but left to speak to Yuzuru. Tamaki had a feeling his father wouldn't be too happy to hear this.

Moving to the window he collapsed on the soft cushions to look outside. He really wanted to be outside but with company he wasn't allowed, it seemed rude. It was nice out today; the humidity finally broke from how it was earlier in the week. As he stared at his backyard he thought of his grandmothers orders. So she did hear the "rumor" going around, knowing his father he told her about it being considered a hate crime or whatever people were calling it. Call it whatever they want it wouldn't change anything and the sooner everyone understood that the better. Forgetting about that though, he thought about Elizabeth. Overall he wasn't surprised by his grandmother's demand but marriage? She must be very worried about the family's reputation to suggest this. At least it wasn't a formal engagement yet so he had a chance to really get to know her before they made plans for an official wedding ceremony. Elizabeth seemed nice enough which helped and if they did get along than she would be his first friend here. He wondered what school she attended since he got the impression she had lived here for years and he didn't remember seeing her around at school.  
"Master Tamaki, I brought you tea sir."

Looking away from the window at hearing someone's voice he saw Ms. Smith setting a tray of tea on the coffee table. It felt strange to hear her call him master again. After living with her for months and treating her like his own mother it felt out of place be called that. But, it couldn't be helped, not with his grandmother visiting. If she heard such informality Ms. Smith would get in a lot of trouble and that was the last thing he wanted for her.  
"Master Tamaki may I ask for your honest opinion about something?"  
Moving off the window he walked over to the tea cup, how he loved walking again. "Sure what do you need my thoughts on?"  
"Are you sure your okay with this arranged marriage? I mean you're still so young."  
"Don't worry about that Ms. Smith. If it's for best interest of the family than I don't really mind and nothing is really official yet so this whole thing could fall through. And actually arranged marriages like this aren't all that uncommon for people like me. My old high school was full of them."  
"Maybe so but that's not what I am getting at. You've always done what others wanted from you but what about what you want? Do you truly want this?"  
"Honestly? Yes. I want to be happy again and I want someone to spend that happiness with. I've been alone my whole life more or less, never really having anyone to play with or go anywhere with. It wasn't until I moved to Japan that I made my first real friends, friends my own age, and so I want that here. And after months of trying I may finally get that chance."  
"Oh Tamaki…"She hoped his idea worked. Seeing him talk about his new dream for himself brought a shine to his eyes. One she could only hope didn't go out this time.

Tamaki was nervous and excited at the same time over what he was getting dressed for. He was taking Elizabeth out to dinner for the first time. This was his first date, ever, and so he wanted it to be perfect. This was also the first time they would both get the chance to talk and learn more about each other. If they had to one day get married than he hoped he learned a lot about her and that they had a lot in common.  
"Sir do you need any help?"  
Hearing a knock at his bedroom door followed by Ms. Smith's voice he let her enter. She walked in smiling as he held his tie out for her. He wasn't even going to try to tie it with only one hand.  
"There you go sir, your good to go."  
"Thank you, oh actually I have to ask you something. Is there some big dating rule I should know about?"  
"Dating rule? Do you mean some sort of gesture men are supposed to do for the lady? Not that I know of sir. Just be the gentleman that you are and you'll be fine."

Tamaki sat across from Elizabeth at one of the best restaurants both in food and location. After they had set a day to go out he gathered information on the best places to take her. The best ones seemed to be in the next town over but so far it seemed worth it.  
"Have you lived here long Elizabeth?"  
Elizabeth put her glass of wine down. Tamaki was still curious how she managed that, they were the same age and he knew the drinking age was twenty one.  
"I moved here only last year, my family owns a place on the upper west side of Manhattan."  
"Manhattan, that's the city right? So why did you chose to move?"  
"I needed a change of scenery. Manhattan sucks when you live there your whole life. I've done the nightlife scene a few times and it gets boring after awhile. So I decided to move."  
"What do you think of it here?"  
"The shopping is lacking, no Saks and fifth Ave, no Bloomingdales. I have to make frequent trips into the city.  
"I thought there was a Bloomingdales in the mall here?"  
"Yes but its small compared to the other ones I've been to."  
"Oh, I've never actually been to the mall here. I was just going off the TV commercials I see all the time for it."  
"We'll have to go sometime then. All of my new jewelry comes from the Tiffany's there."  
"Sounds good to me. So do you attend the Ross School? I don't think I've ever seen you there?"  
"I attend the all girls' school near it. Father insisted I go there if I moved and didn't want to get cut off."  
"Of course." Hearing that depressed him, though he wasn't too surprised. Someone like Elizabeth wouldn't go unnoticed at school. She was the only one he knew with a bodyguard. Even with him a few feet away it still felt strange to have someone hovering over them. He seemed nice enough though, John was it? He hadn't said much when they were introduced but his eyes didn't send a bad vibe.

At the end of the night Tamaki felt that things went well. Elizabeth seemed nice enough which made the thought of having to one day marry her not sound so bad. His father was happy to hear that he seemed hopeful of this arrangement. Ms. Smith still seemed leery about the whole idea. He could tell she wanted to say something about it but wasn't in the position to. She may have treated him as her own son but in reality he wasn't and so her two cents over the matter wasn't allowed unless asked for. But, he didn't treat her just as some servant so her thoughts were always welcome.

School started tomorrow for Tamaki, he was, but wasn't looking forward to it. This was a new school year meaning he wasn't new meat. There was no reason for Daniel and his friends to go after him anymore. He wasn't new and was publicly dating Elizabeth so they really couldn't say what they had been anymore. All of his old fears could vanish with this new school year. Still a part of him couldn't relax until he was certain all he went through last year was over. To help get his mind off his fears of school he used school as a countdown until he could get this cast off. It was so itchy and had enough of it. September thirteenth couldn't come fast enough, that was his doctor appointment for it and, he was excited. Sure he may not use his right arm all that often but not being able to use it at all was more of a pain then just using it until it hurt. Realizing it was getting late he tried to fall asleep; a good night's sleep would only help him tomorrow. Tossing and turning for a solid two hours he was finally able to keep his eyes closed to fall asleep.

His eyes shot open at the sound of his alarm. By the time Ms. Smith came into his room to get him up a few minutes later he was already getting dressed.  
"Oh good you're up. What would you like for breakfast?"  
Getting his shoes on he sat on the edge of his bed so Ms. Smith could tie his shoes.  
"Ummmm….waffles?"  
"From a mix okay with you? I believe it's too late to make them from scratch."  
"That's fine."  
Leaving him to finish getting ready and to tell Mr. Williams what to make he walked over to his mirror. He wanted to look perfect for today. The start of a brand new school year was today as well as the end of being the new student. He could feel it, this year, his senior year of high school, would be different. Seeing that his appearance couldn't get any better without a completely new look he left the room.

"Father when do you have to fly back to Japan?"  
Tamaki didn't know when exactly his father's flight was but he overheard him tell Ms. Smith about it.  
"Tomorrow at four and I don't believe I can fly back until Christmas time."  
"Oh so your planning on spending Christmas here with me?"  
Yuzuru put his fork down almost hurt by Tamaki's question.  
"Tamaki have I not spent a Christmas with you before? I have been with you every year since you were born."  
"I know but I didn't know if you would be able to since you spent all summer here."  
"I'll be here so don't worry about that."  
"Yes father."  
They went back to their breakfast before Yuzuru brought up what Tamaki had been waiting for.  
"Are you sure about this Tamaki? I know your grandmother approved your choice, for whatever reason I will never know, but, you don't have to do this."  
"If grandmother is okay with this than I am too."  
Tamaki finished up to leave the room before his father could comment back; he had been bringing up since the day his grandmother left. He didn't want to talk about it anymore.

As his car pulled up to the school Tamaki felt his body start to sweat. Having his mind repeat that everything would be fine and he was only sweating because it was eighty degrees right now he left the car. Keeping his head down he walked down the halls to get to his homeroom. There were so many voices, so many eyes on him.  
_*You don't know that they are talking about you. They could be talking about their summer vacations. Just continue to walk and breathe and don't look at them.*_ His pep talk didn't help much since he still looked over his shoulder to see if they were talking about him or not. He figured the entire school knew about what happened to him. It's not every day there is a bush fire where a person is found unconscious and tied up in it. Seeing that the people in his homeroom were the same as last year helped him relax a little more, so far he didn't see Daniel and he could only hope they didn't have any classes together.

Only being in homeroom for a few minutes he was surprised when he was called to the guidance office. What could they want with him already? Maybe his schedule was messed up somehow? Gathering his things he went to see what they wanted. He had never met the counselors before now that he thought about it. Hopefully they would be nice but what could they want?  
"Tamaki?"  
Just walking in he heard his name. Looking past the two women at the counter cubicle who handled transcripts he saw a woman standing in the doorway to her office.  
"Please come in, sit, I would like to talk to you for a few minutes."  
Walking in he put his backpack on the floor by his feet and sat down.

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I'll stop here before I go on and mess up or make the chapter really boring. I plan to update a few of my other stories before I update this again so I hope this is good enough to hold you over until then. Thanks for reading and please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	9. Counselors and Cutting

Chapter 9  
**Counselors and Cutting**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki had no clue why this woman would want to talk to him. It was after all, the first day of the new school year and he hadn't done anything to warrant him a required visit.  
"Did I do something wrong?"  
"No of course not, Tamaki. I just want to talk to you about a few things. How are you doing by the way? I heard you had a rough start to the summer."  
"I'm doing better thank you." Having her ask about that didn't surprise him. He had already figured all the staff knew about what happened.  
"Care to talk about it? What happened, why you didn't tell anyone?"  
"I'd rather not." Looking away from her he let the words mumble out from his mouth.  
"I'm sorry?"  
Looking back at her he plastered a fake smile on his face and said, "I should really get to class. I don't want to be late on the first day." The bell for first period rang only seconds ago, if he left now he should be able to make it. Grabbing his backpack he stood up to leave.  
"Tamaki wait, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."  
"Maybe I don't want help!" He didn't mean to snap at her but it came out that way. Opening her office door he stepped out into the larger main office.  
"Then answer me this, why come back after all you've been through?"  
Keeping his back to her he turned his head to his right shoulder. "Because I didn't have much choice and answer me this, would it have been any better elsewhere?" When she didn't answer a few seconds later he turned back to look ahead and walked out for class.  
"I didn't think so."

The first day being a half day brightened his mood from earlier. The school hadn't cared to ask about him once when the whole thing took place and now, now that he was basically recovered from it wanted to care? It was too late for them to get close to him. He didn't trust anyone here, not the staff, teachers, and especially the students, he would show up, get good grades, and graduate and that was it. He refused to get hurt by them again. All day he heard and saw students talking about him, by the time the final bell rang he was ready to get the hell out of there. Having homework on the first day seemed like a blessing right now. It gave him an excuse to push it all to the back of his mind so he could focus more on the work. When his father asked him how it went he was happy to answer truthfully.  
"Nothing really, the teachers talked about what we would cover, some got straight down to business, others didn't."  
"None of the staff brought up the incident to you?"  
At that Tamaki thought about the counselor, had his father asked her to speak to him?  
"Only one but I didn't want to get into it. This is a new school year and so I want to start fresh. That means dropping all of the baggage from last year."  
"I believe that is the best call Tamaki." Yuzuru's answer didn't clear the thought that he talked to the school counselor but he didn't push the topic further.

Since the weather was still warm, after dinner he stepped outside on the deck. He did some homework before the sunset started staring out over the water. Once it had he walked to his normal spot on the lawn and watched the sky change colors. All the pinks and orange tones, watching them always brought his mind peace.  
_*Kyouya, I really hope things have been going much better for you than for me. I miss you but I still believe this is all for the best and everything will work out for me. I love you, now and forever.*_ Hugging his knees to his chest he watched as the night sky started to come in and erase the other colors.

The first week of school had gone well for him, no one bothered him and he bothered no one. It seemed Daniel was busy with soccer so he couldn't come after him. Deep down he hoped that by the time Daniel and his friends got done with soccer they would have completely forgotten about him. Parts of him didn't see that happening as he had a few classes with some of his friends. So far though they acted like he wasn't even there which was fine by him. With school underway the thirteenth came up faster than he thought possible. Today was finally the day he got this cast off his arm. He also got out of going to school so he could make the early morning appointment. Had he enjoyed school more he may have been slightly upset over missing today or may have thought about going after but he didn't so he didn't care. Getting to sleep in a little longer, not having to wear the uniform he still found stupid looking, and getting to enjoy a really good breakfast. Fresh baked chocolate chip muffins, Mr. Williams wanted to make them sooner but Tamaki told him to wait until today.  
"Breakfast is ready whenever you are Tamaki. Try not to wait too long though sir, so it's still warm for you." Ms. Smith was at his door making sure he was up and starting to get dressed.  
"Okay I'm coming." Turning to her he got her to come back before she went back downstairs. "Can you help me? You know one last time before I get this cast off." He was holding his shoes in his left hand laughing.  
"Sure Tamaki, for our memories." Laughing as she walked back she knelt down waiting for him to slip his sneakers on.

When he got downstairs he could smell breakfast in the hallway way before he got to the kitchen. Walking in he noticed more than muffins.  
"That looks fantastic…and smells sooooooooo good."  
"Those are cinnamon buns. I hope you like them."  
"Oh I bet I will!" Taking one of them off the plate he took a large bite in his mouth. "Soo hot but so good." Grabbing another one and a muffin he put it on his plate he sat down. He really loved his "family" here; he hoped they knew how much.

Seeing the doctor walk in with a saw made Tamaki's eyes go wide, he never figured out how they would remove it but he guessed it made sense.  
"Is…is that what you use to take the cast off with?"  
"It is Tamaki. There is no need to worry I've done this many times. Just lie down and relax."  
"What if…what if my arm twitches or something?"  
"I have had that happen and I promise you I won't accidently cut your arm if you twitch."  
"Okay…that's good to know."  
"Now just lay back, put your arm right here and relax."  
Doing as he was told he turned his head to look away from the doctor. That blade, small or not spun very fast. Watching it made him break out in sweat, it was so close to him. Hearing it hit the cast made him close his eyes. That sound was horrible. The sooner it stopped the better. The entire time the saw was on he braced himself for pain as it hit him. Hearing the room go silent as the blade slowed down he could tell his heart beat had picked up speed and was trying to go back to normal. There was no pain, but his right arm could feel a breeze.  
"You can open your eyes Tamaki, I'm all done." Opening his eyes he looked over to see his arm, it looked gross. Pale, and thin, covered in scars, such a mess. Flexing his fingers and elbow he was happy to have it feel normal.  
"I want to do an x-ray to make sure everything is healed completely but if you're moving it with no pain than that is a good sign."  
"My arm looks disgusting."  
"That will happen but physical therapy and using it again will help it look better."  
Tamaki walked out of the doctor's office with a giant smile on his face, no more cast, not even a fracture, he was all clear. It took him all summer long plus that but he could finally move on from what happened. There was no large reminder he was always staring at anymore.

"Welcome home Tamaki." Ms. Smith met him outside by the steps when his car pulled up. He happily showed her his arm now free from its prison.  
"That is great Tamaki, sir. Mr. Williams is making all your favorites for dinner. I know, why don't you invite Elizabeth for dinner?"  
Tamaki stopped in the front doorway stunned by what she said.  
"Ask her, over?"  
"Yes Tamaki ask her over for dinner. Come now surely you did that in Japan."  
"Well yes but," He had never had anyone come over for dinner well actually no, that was a lie. Kyouya had eaten at his place but they were friends. Elizabeth was barely a friend, a friend he had to marry one day but he still barely knew her.  
"I don't know if that's such a good idea, I mean she may not even want to."  
"Oh come on don't get so scared just call her and let her be the one to say no."  
"I…I…okay." Realizing he couldn't get out of it he dropped his head and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Stepping into the living room he listened to the phone ringing, he didn't know what was worse, if she had picked up or having to leave a voicemail; Ms. Smith had no idea how scared he was to have Elizabeth possibly coming over. He didn't seem worth enough to have someone like her around. He was just a seventeen year old male born from unwed parents after his father's affair; she came from an old family, where he parents were married where she was popular. Something told him she enjoyed school that she did well in it, that she wasn't picked on or bullied because of who she was. No, her life was probably perfect so why would she want to be with him?

With his mind now swirling he sat at the piano. It took months to get both his hands back to play now he wanted to see if he could still. The worst thing that would ever happen would be forgetting how to play even something simple. This wouldn't be easy he knew that already but still he had to try. Not getting more than eight bars in he had to stop, his right arm was already hurting.  
"Just breathe; it hasn't even been a day yet. Once I start therapy I just know I'll be able to do this again."  
"What Tamaki?"  
Looking up over the piano he saw Ms. Smith walking in holding tea for him.  
"So?"  
"She…um, wasn't there. I got her voicemail."  
Trying to collect himself he took the tea from her keeping an eye on his cell.  
"Well I'm sure she'll call you back. It's still early so she is probably still in school. Just be patient."  
Staring into his cup he just nodded, he wanted to tell her what was bothering him but it seemed childish in his eyes.  
"Tamaki, sir, is something the matter?"  
Looking over at her he smiled just faintly before standing up. "I'll be in my room finishing homework I didn't get to last night. I will let you know when I hear back from Elizabeth."  
"Okay sir."  
Ms. Smith could tell something was bothering him but she wasn't too sure what it could be. Today was a day Tamaki had been looking forward to for months now so why did he seem down? Was he that worried about Elizabeth's answer?

Tamaki laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling. His phone sat on his desk so he wouldn't stare at it and show that he was half expecting overall. He couldn't shake the thought that Elizabeth wouldn't get back to him and just say she never got the message so she wouldn't have to say no to coming over. Holding his right arm over his head he stared at how pale his arm was. The cuts on it seemed to stand out, they seemed much worse than they had been before he broke his arm.  
"I need to get some sun; that should help."  
Covering his eyes to block out the light he fell asleep. He bolted upright when he heard his ringtone going off. Before he looked at it he knew who it could be. Being home meant Ms. Smith or anyone here wouldn't call him and his father would call the house so that must be, "Elizabeth. Hello, how are you?"  
"Hello Tamaki, nice to hear from you again. Something I can do for you?"  
"Well, ummm, yes, actually see, I was wondering if you're free tonight? My cast came off today and my cook is making a celebratory dinner for me and I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner?"  
Hearing himself he could tell he sounded scared and like an idiot. There was no way she would agree now, now that she heard him so afraid.  
"Sure, I'd love to come over. Is six alright?"  
He inhaled, losing his thoughts by her response.  
"Tamaki? Are you still there? Uh this stupid phone, such a piece of shit."  
"I'm here, sorry, yes six is fine."  
"Okay then I'll see you at six."  
They hung up leaving Tamaki still holding his phone stunned. He couldn't believe it, she was actually coming over she really wanted to come over and hang out with him. Maybe things were starting to really look up for him.  
"Ms. Smith!" Smiling he ran out of the room to tell her the good news. Seeing him excited and hyper reminded her of a child. It was a personality that fit him perfectly.

At six Tamaki was out back watching the sun begin to set. Elizabeth would be here soon causing him to start to worry again. Everything had to be perfect; he wanted to keep her as a friend so he couldn't afford to have anything go wrong. He couldn't look stupid in front of her. Hearing voices he turned to see Elizabeth being escorted to the backyard. Shaking his hands out to shake off the nerves he met her half way, she looked beautiful. Wearing a dark blue skirt and a light blue off the shoulder top her hair seemed brighter along with her eyes. Tamaki doubted that she ever looked bad.  
"Thank you for coming Elizabeth on such short notice.  
Just smiling she allowed herself to be escorted down on the lawn so they could enjoy the sunset together.  
"I'm shocked to see you in long sleeves still Tamaki. What with your arm free I'm surprised you don't want to show it off."  
"Oh well, it, it looks really bad from being in the cast so long so I'm waiting until it looks a little better before I unveil it on the world."  
"I got it, makes sense." She started laughing making Tamaki relax that his lie worked. He didn't want her to see her scars, not when they stood out so much. He had been wearing a shirt sleeve up until he came outside right before Elizabeth showed up. The last thing he wanted right now was for her to see what he had done.

Dinner had gone well relaxing Tamaki even more. That was until Elizabeth said something to him that wasn't what he was expecting in the slightest.  
"You want me to go to a party your father is planning?" His voice was quivering in fear even as he tried to suppress it.  
"Yes my father is hosting a party at the end of the month and he would like you to join me. He wants to meet my new boyfriend."  
"Boyfriend?" She considered him to be her boyfriend, had he heard her right?  
"Yes my boyfriend, what am I not your girlfriend?"  
"No, no that's it. I just didn't want to seem to forward and possibly scare you by thinking I'm something that I'm not. For you see I am not pushy to others and don't want to give you that impression."  
"You're too cute Tamaki! Anyway next week I'll take you out to get something you can wear for it."  
"O…okay sure. Sounds good." Inhaling he tried to compose himself yet again. One day he wouldn't become so shaky when she spoke or was near. He would become stronger and more confident, just like he used to be for her.

His new confidence and determination didn't last long, not even a full twenty-four hours actually. It seemed his luck at school had ended and in a horrible fashion. It hadn't been as bad as being beaten up it was more humiliating. During his lunch he was sitting at the end of a table studying for next period's test when two people shoved into him sending their lunch over him and his books. He was covered in soda and pasta, today's hot lunch. Looking over he saw his book and notebook were drenched, in salad dressing and covered in lettuce. Seeing who it was that hit him he saw Daniel's friends and they were laughing. His fists clenched and shook in anger from seeing them, his hatred for them swam through him. All he wanted to do was punch them, show them who got the last laugh.  
"Hey Brad look, seems you got him mad."  
"Oh no whatever will I do." He could tell they were mocking him which only made him madder. Done with them he stood up to get in their face. Before he could do anything though two teachers come over to see what was going on.  
"All right what's going on?" Seeing Tamaki covered in food they asked what happened. The two guys started to lie causing Tamaki to lose it. Not wanting to fight them knowing he would be the one to get in trouble; he grabbed his things and walked out of the cafeteria. Once away from everyone he ran down the hall to the bathroom. Tears were already trying to fall or they felt ready to only they stayed behind his eyes causing them to burn. He couldn't even cry as he tried to clean himself up even when he realized his books were ruined. Getting himself as clean as he could he walked out to go to his locker to grab his gym clothes and change. All he wanted to know now was what those two problems were. He had done nothing and up until now they had left him alone.  
"They are such assholes!" Even as frustrated and angry as he was he knew they won. They had gotten to him and after school he locked himself in his room and did the one thing he promised he wouldn't do to those he loved. His face was dry; his eyes open, as the blade came across his skin. He no longer cared what others said about this, this was all he had left in the world to remind him that was alive. Even with it though, he questioned if he wanted to feel alive, if he wanted to continue breathing in this world.

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This chapter took less time to write and even less to type. GO ME! Anyway I hope everyone (if anyone) reading this story is enjoying it. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	10. Welcome Over Wounds

Chapter 10  
**Welcome Over Wounds**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki was finding it harder and harder to leave his bed each morning. The only reason he did was for Ms. Smith. He didn't want her to tell his father or to possibly see that he had began cutting again. Both he knew were possible of happening if he didn't act like nothing was going on. So every morning he would lie in bed until the last possible second, get dressed and get breakfast before jumping in his car to be driven to school. Some days he could go all school day without cutting, and others he would go into the bathroom either during or between classes and watch as blood ran down his arm and finger tips into the sink. It wasn't hard to carry something on him; the metal detectors weren't smart enough to see that his blade was carried on his keys. After learning that Swiss army knives carried blades on them he went to the antique store he visited when he first moved in and saw if they carried something like it. It didn't have to be a blade exactly, just something he could use, something that would inflict pain but it didn't have to be sharp enough to draw blood. At the store he talked to the owner and found what he had now, a sword keychain that you could lock in its sheath which he did for school. With it attached to his keys it passed through the metal detectors. His keys set it off all the time anyway so adding it didn't do anything. The first day he had added it they questioned him about it but the sheath was plastic so to them it was just a keychain. It hadn't been sharp when he got it since it was nothing but a letter opener. The knife sharpeners Mr. Williams kept in the kitchen worked for this as well. It even made it shinier; it was a beautiful sword taking care of it was a must.

Knowing he was going out with Elizabeth after school he made sure not to draw blood. He had to marry her one day; he couldn't scare her off if she ever saw his arm. She was taking him to the mall to get an outfit for his father's dinner party which was at the end of the week. Saying he was nervous was a bit of an understatement. He never met anyone from her family yet so he had no idea what to expect. He wasn't worried about how he would handle himself he had been raised to attend formal parties. Other than the few dates they had been out on together they hadn't been together leaving him feeling unprepared for anything she planned for him to attend with her.  
"It's just a formal party; I've dealt with them before I can handle this."  
Cleaning the knife he locked it back in its holder before staring at himself. Maybe it was just him but he looked shitty. Bags under his eyes, his skin didn't shine the way it used to, he was surprised Ms. Smith hadn't said anything to him about his appearance.  
"I really need to take better care of myself."  
Grabbing his backpack he left the bathroom only after making sure he wasn't going to get jumped by Daniel or his friends. This year it seemed that they weren't beating him up but they were still picking on him. Throwing stuff at him, taking his things, tripping him, shoving him into lockers, teasing him all the time about the fact that he had been with Kyouya; god how he was getting tired of that one, even after he told them he was dating Elizabeth they went back to Kyouya. This was all worse than getting beaten up just for the fact that he didn't know what to expect, he was in constant fear whenever he was at the school. He wasn't complaining about not being black and blue all over but jumping for fear that they would repeat what happened at the beginning of the summer. He knew that they made fun of his fear but they hadn't been the ones with broken ribs and an arm with burned legs. They dealt it out but they didn't receive it, he figured no matter how tough you were if you go through what he did you would be scared by corners, bushes, and flames too.

At the final bell he grabbed his things from his locker and headed to his car to meet Elizabeth. This would be the first time he went to a mall here. It was supposed to hold some really nice stores, and he could use a change of wardrobe.  
"I wonder if my credit card limit is really low. A plane ticket was over a thousand dollars so maybe. Shit." He didn't want to ask Elizabeth to pay for him and then pay her back once he was able to get the money out of his account but with a low spending limit buying a tux could be a problem. Having this new problem to figure out he called his father. He didn't realize it was so early for him until he picked up and heard him up because of the phone ringing. Simply asking about the limit he got off so he could go back to bed. So his debt card was limited by retailers and his credit card held a limit of retailers and ten thousand dollars.  
"So I can't buy a car or a plane ticket but it won't stop me from going out now. Fine."  
The idea sill ticked him off but he wasn't about to let it his ruin his time out. Finding out that his family had forced him to stay here when he had wanted to go back to Japan made him mad. How could they do that? If they hadn't blocked his cards then he could have avoided being beaten up and burned alive. They were his family, the only family he had. Why were they cruel to him?  
"Does everyone in this world want me dead that badly?"  
Without being truly aware he started crying in his hands. It had been so long since he last cried. The tears felt cold on his face, for once his eyes didn't burn as they watered. Maybe this was a good sign, maybe he wasn't dead inside after all.  
"Sir we have arrived."  
Looking up he wiped his eyes happy to not see Elizabeth here yet.  
"Shall I wait until she arrives?"  
"No it's okay, let me out." Making sure he didn't look stupid from crying he stepped out. The mall was beautiful on the outside, a fountain laid in the middle of the entranceway with coins all along the bottom.  
"People use it as wishing well, so pathetic."  
Looking up he saw Elizabeth coming up behind him.  
"Aww I think it's neat. People do something like this back home, though it's done more at temples than malls."  
"I guess I could see that more. Still seems pointless. I'm sorry but wishing on a coin won't bring you all you wish for."  
"Maybe not but the hope that it could makes people try. Hope is silly like that." Fishing into his pockets he found a quarter. Holding it in his palm he tightened his grip and closed his eyes.  
_* I wish to find happiness here.*_  
Opening his eyes he flipped the coin into the fountain, turning around laughing he walked to Elizabeth.  
"Shall we go inside Mademoiselle? I'm sure you want to do what we came here for."  
"Finally, you can be such a child at times do you know that?"  
"Do you not like it? If so I can watch what I do so I don't embarrass you."  
"Oh Tamaki." Walking past him she walked to the doors leading inside that her bodyguard opened for her.  
"Mademoiselle? Are you mad at me?" Worried he ran to catch up to her. She didn't look angry at him. Taking his arm she wrapped hers around it and started to lead the way.  
"I want you to look perfect for when you meet daddy."  
"Are sure about this? I mean we still barely know each other."  
"He'll love you. I'm his princess; he loves any guy I bring home."  
_*Well she seems sure of this whole thing so maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe.*_

Not spending long in the first two stores Elizabeth dragged him to a third one and began looking around for something.  
"Short or long sleeve Tamaki?"  
"Ummm long sleeve please."  
"Okay I need to ask, you never wear short sleeves do you? I know before you said it was because of you cast but it must look better by now. If not then you really need to get a better plastic surgeon because they should have been able to fix you up. And while I think long sleeve would look better for the party we should get you something shorter."  
"Thank you but I would rather not have you worry about it. It seemed my arm has not recovered the way I would have liked and I feel it would be bad to show it for fear of the press seeing it before I get the chance to get it taken care of."  
"Oh nonsense, sure they are bad but your house seems to be built well to keep them away. So come let me get you something better."  
He started to sweat as she played with his shirt cuff, he was happy he changed from his school uniform in the car. At least this offered more resistance than his sweater sleeve.  
"Really Elizabeth, don't worry about it. I'll make it a point to get something else but why don't we focus on why we came here?"  
"What do you have a tattoo or something on your arm that you're ashamed of?" She teased him as he tried to push her away careful not to hurt her.  
"A tattoo? No of course not. It's simply as I said."  
"Ah ha I got it!"  
Tamaki broke out in sweat as she managed to pull his sleeve up. Why did she have to remember that his right arm was the one he broke? Had she grabbed his left he wouldn't have cared. Running her thumbs down his arm she stopped at the cuts laid out before her. This was it, it was all over now. She would leave him for sure; his grandmother would find out and rip him apart for it. He was going to get in so much trouble.  
"Your right it would be bad publicity for this to get out. For everyone's sake it's best to keep it covered." Rolling down his sleeve she re-buttoned it and went back to looking for something fitting for him. Was that it? Was she not going to say anything else? It seemed too easy for him to think the conversation was over that quickly.  
"Here try this on while I go find someone to size you for pants and tux." Holding a bunch of dress shirts for him to try on she walked off. He couldn't help but worry more over this idea of her walking away. Now that she knew his secret she could call her father and end their relationship, if that happened then his grandmother would be all over in a matter of minutes.

From worrying it took much longer to try on the first shirt.  
"I found someone Tamaki are you dressed enough?"  
Finishing the last button on his shirt he stepped out seeing her and the sales clerk.  
"Elizabeth what color is your dress? Do you want us to match colors or no?"  
"I am hoping so but I want to make sure the color looks good on you." Turning to the clerk she started to explain what she was looking for. Tamaki just let her do as she pleased for fear of upsetting her still not sure about her thoughts from earlier. They didn't say much while the guy was working only amplifying his worries. Should he say something to her about it? Once they got what they came for they walked around, he started to relax as she wrapped her arms around his one again. It felt strange to have her so close, no one had done this. Not that he had been with many people, actually Kyouya was the only one and he would never do what she was doing.

Tamaki looked into the glass cases at one of the jewelry stores while Elizabeth went through the new catalog with a sales clerk. He couldn't help but stare at the engagement rings. Knowing he would have to buy one in the near future made just looking feel like something much more.  
"Would you like to see one closer?"  
Looking up he saw a sales clerk on the other end staring into the case.  
"Oh not right now but thank you."  
"You're with Ms. Rockefeller correct? She had eyed the heirloom collection from Tacori if you're interested. Please let me know if I can help you with something." The clerk walked away leaving Tamaki to process what they said.  
_*Well that helps I guess.*_  
"Tamaki come here I need your opinion."  
Going to Elizabeth he saw she was flipping between two pages of the catalog, she was kidding right? He had no clue when it came to jewelry.  
"Which do you like better? I can't decide and I would get both but I can't wear both on Saturday."  
There was a difference? The stone count and size was the same, the design was almost exactly the same, the chain was silver for both.  
"May I?" Taking the book he flipped through it to see what exactly it was displaying. He stopped when something caught his eye, it looked just like something he saw before.  
"What about this one?" Pointing to the one he saw he waited for her thoughts. Seeing her eyes light up he took it as a yes she liked it."  
"That is even better than what I saw."  
"I'm glad you like it. Excuse me ma'am mademoiselle would like this one please." Showing the clerk he was happy to hear that they had it on stock, unlike the other ones.  
"Here Elizabeth let me put it on for you." Waiting until she moved her hair he put it on for her. "What do you think?"  
"It's beautiful. You have a great eye." While she stared at it on her in the mirror he pulled out his card and handed it to the clerk so he could pay for it.  
"Anything for you. Making you happy makes me happy." He was happy she liked it; he saw it only because his mother had something very similar. She told him his father gave it her when they met. His mother treasured that necklace, he hoped Elizabeth would too.  
"Ready to go, want to grab dinner? You said there was nice Italian restaurant not to far correct?" He tensed as she moved into him, her palms rested on his chest.  
"You are my prince charming did you know that Tamaki?"  
Seeing they way she looked at him, how her voice was made him anxious, what was she doing?  
"I'm sure others were just as kind to you."  
"None were like you; they are exes because none knew how to treat a lady right." She reached up to kiss his lips. Hoping his hands weren't shaking he placed them near her back as he kissed her back. When they pulled away he faintly smiled at her and hoped she didn't see how fake it was.  
_*Shit.*_ He felt nothing from kissing her. He had hoped for something, he knew he wouldn't fall in love from it but he thought there would have been something.  
"Hot, sweet, and a good kisser, you are the perfect guy. And you're all mine." She laced her fingers with his, "Come, let's go, the restaurant sounds lovely." She started walking out of the store.

Standing in front of the mirror fixing his tux vest he got ready to go. He would have to get Elizabeth soon if they wanted to be on time. He hadn't eaten anything all day for fear of getting sick from it, his nerves were a mess.  
"Sir, are you just about ready your cars here? Don't you look good."  
"I'm ready and thank you, this is what Elizabeth picked for me."  
Taking one last look in the mirror he grabbed his jacket and left the room. It seemed stupid to get in the car to drive next door and pick her up but their houses weren't super close.  
"It's rude to tell her to meet me outside isn't it?"  
"It is sir."  
"Well then I'm not doing that."

The trip into the city was long yet still didn't help his nerves. No matter how many times he was told it would be fine he couldn't relax. He never met parents like this before, what if there was something he had to do before he met them? Why didn't he ask Ms. Smith about this before, she would have known about American cultures for boyfriends meeting parents.  
"This is it Tamaki, the hall my father is holding the event."  
Looking what they were next too he noticed it was a hotel, a very nice one but a hotel all the same.  
"The New York Barclay, never heard of it but sounds nice."  
"It's one of the best. Daddy rented the entire building for his guests since the banquet rooms are small."  
"How many people are going to be here?" He could feel himself starting to sweat.  
"At least five hundred I think. Daddy said it was a small gathering since he was holding it here but I forgot the head count, it may be less."  
"Oh, oh okay." _*Great five hundred strangers and two parents I don't know. Shoot me now, I can't do this.*_ Swallowing he got out of the car to let Elizabeth out. Offering his hand she took his arm and they walked in. Right now he wished he drank or was at least old enough too. He heard alcohol relaxes you and that was just what he needed to make it through the night.  
"Oh look over there it's my parents. Come Tamaki I can't wait for daddy to meet you. I know he'll approve."  
_*It's like meeting clients, it's like meeting clients, it's like meeting clients.*_ Even though he never met people close to the family alone he hoped it was the same thing, it had to be, he needed it to be. As they came up next to who he could only assume were her parents he took a deep breath.  
"Mother, father, I want you to meet someone. This is Tamaki Suoh. Tamaki these are my parents."  
"It's an honor to meet you both, Elizabeth has told me a lot about all your family has done. I also hope of course that you will allow me the honor of continuing to date your daughter."  
"Ah Tamaki, yes I have heard quite a lot about you"  
_*What exactly though?*_  
"Oh Suzanne and Cheri are here. I'll let you three talk. Have fun and daddy remember you promised to be nice. Don't scare him off."  
"I'm always nice to your boyfriend's princess."  
Elizabeth kissed her parents cheek before kissing Tamaki's and running off to talk to her friends. Tamaki wanted to have her stay and not leave him with her parents but he knew that wouldn't leave the best impression.  
_*Shiiiiit.*  
_"So Tamaki you've been dating my daughter have you?"  
"Yes sir." He noticed during his mini freak-out Elizabeth's mother walked away, just great.  
"I hope you haven't tried anything with her, not only will she not allow it but I will have you arrested at the very least."  
"Of, of course not sir, I would never. My mother raised me with the ways to treat any lady properly and what not to do unless all requirements are met."  
"Very good, I am a fan of men who respect their mothers properly, they are always better with other woman and I can tell your mother is a very smart woman. Now my little Elizabeth is a very strong willed woman are you able to see to her happiness?"  
"I hope so sir. I do my best in making her happy."  
"Wonderful, come let us sit and talk some more. I have a lot I want to know."  
Following Mr. Rockefeller they sat at one of the tables where he was grilled with questions upon questions. He was asked about everything from parents and home life to why he liked Elizabeth. The family questions were the hard ones simply for the fact that it could ruin everything. To the world of the powerful he was disgusting, nothing but an illegitimate child, a bastard child. Even hearing his story and knowing it all he was happy to let Tamaki continue to date his daughter which made Tamaki very happy.

Elizabeth ran up to them and forced Tamaki on his feet. As she moved closer to him she had him dance with her. For some reason her being so close didn't do what he wanted. Why couldn't he fully enjoy this closeness? It didn't feel wrong yet it didn't feel right. Everything was just okay, and that was worse than feeling one way or another.  
"So my father likes you, as I told you didn't I."  
"You did your right."  
"You're my prince and not only that but I always get what I want and I want you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for not updating sooner. School has played with my classes making it hard to write before I leave May 13th. But! I should have some free time soon so I plan to write a lot then to make up for it all. Please review it would mean a lot to me.  
~Femalefighter~


	11. Pains the Price

Chapter 11  
**Pain's the Price**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing!**

Tamaki crashed onto his bed after finally getting back home. He had spent the night in the hotel room Elizabeth's father rented out for the party. It did beat having a long drive back home last night but he really liked being home. At least it had gone well. He could stop worrying about it. Sitting up he went to his backpack and started homework. With that over he could focus on school again, or as best as he could. It seemed that no matter no how hard he tried he just couldn't recall it. It made doing homework harder but he took a lot of notes which helped. Still as he sat at his desk he barely got two parts done, school just didn't hold the same desire as it used to. If he really thought about it he could say he hated school.  
"Tamaki, sir, so how did it go with Miss Elizabeth?" Stopping his blank stare into space he looked over at the door where Ms. Smith was carrying lunch. Had he not heard her call him for lunch?  
"It went very well. I got along quite nicely with her parents."  
"Well that's good and see you were worried."  
They talked for a while since Tamaki found that trying to do homework was a lost cause. He would have to focus though since he wanted to have high grades when his father came for Christmas. He had to prove to him that staying at the Ross school was a good thing, that wouldn't work though if he had C's and D's.

Why did the weekends have to end, why couldn't they last longer? He had made the mistake of going to his locker again before homeroom where Daniel was walking to his. It seemed he was done not leaving bruises as he went face first into his locker door. Sliding to his knees he grabbed his nose to see if it was bleeding. He knew he bit his tongue he could taste the blood.  
"Back hall, lunch." With that he was left alone. Terror flooded through him, what if this was a repeat of what happened in June. What should he do? Should he tell someone? What would they do though, Daniel would just get him later and the school never cared what happened to him before. Doing what he came to his locker for he checked his noise one last time, it was nice to not see blood coming from it for once.

When the bell for lunch came he just headed straight to the back hall. There was no point in waiting and if things became bad he did have a weapon he could use to get them off him. He didn't want to use his sharpened sword keychain but he would if things got serious. There would not be a repeat of June he would make sure of that.  
"Daniel look he actually came. He probably missed you beating on him. Probably got a rise from it." He watched as Daniel shoved his own friend into the wall at that statement.  
"Oh don't flatter yourself." _*Oh shit did that just come out of my mouth?* _That wouldn't go over well, still his body stood proud, it wasn't about to give in to him.  
"What's this? Are you trying to act tough?"  
"Did I stutter, why would I even dream about anything involving you. I have a girlfriend that looks a hell of a lot better than you ever could." He could tell he was in trouble but he couldn't get himself to shut up. This was what he wanted though, deep down he was fed up and tired of being some weak, voiceless person. They had no right to do what they did to him, enough was enough.  
"Yea I've been meaning to ask how you got with a babe like her. How much did you pay her?"  
That really got to him, "Don't you dare disrespect her. You must be low to disrespect a girl like that."  
"What are you going to do huh? Come on hit me. I'll give you a free hit tough guy. Show me you not a pussy."  
_*I can't fight him he'll kill me for sure. I don't stand a chance against him. Shit what do I do?*_  
"All talk I knew it. Well guess what I'm not. I am what you can barely dream of being, a man." Tamaki tired to dodge Daniel's fist but was too slow. He managed to avoid the full force of it but it still connected with his face. Facing Daniel he turned and punched him back. Adrenaline had taken over causing him to barely realize what he had done. All his power went behind that punch and it seemed to do something.  
"You son of a bitch you actually think you can get away with it. Let's see you pull that stunt again." Tamaki knew he wouldn't get lucky a second time; Daniel wiped his lip to see a small line of blood that Tamaki couldn't even see. All he could see was Daniel ready to kill him.  
_*Maybe I can just keep dodging, he can't do this forever.*_ He was happy he was quick on his feet, dodging wasn't too hard but it was definitely a challenge.  
"Stop dodging and fight me like a man, god I hate pussies."  
Just barely missing him he ended up tripping Daniel causing them both to lose their balance. Daniel managed to stay on his feet through and Tamaki fell to the floor. He tried to crawl away until he was grabbed by his friends. Nothing good ever happened when they grabbed him. He couldn't hold back the sounds that escaped him as he was thrown across the lockers before falling back on the floor. Pain radiated through him as he tried to get up. Rolling over he saw Daniel over him, reflexes kicked in. His leg shot up and hit the back of his leg. Daniel fell to the floor and what really took Tamaki by surprise was the fact that the fight between them continued on the floor.

Everything around them seemed to be nonexistent as Tamaki tried to defend himself. There was no way he even stood a chance like this. He had closed his eyes trying to protect his face; he only reopened them when he felt the fists stop. It seemed like someone was yelling. Taking a closer look he saw a teacher, oh thank god. There were a few people with the teacher as two lifted him up and two lifted Daniel up. Good, he was finally going to get in trouble for all he did, about time.

"I'm suspended?" The pain left him as he broke out in sweat. He would be in so much trouble if his father found out.  
"You know we have zero tolerance for violence here."  
"Yea bit I didn't start it Daniel went after me first."  
"He told us you punched him and there is an obvious mark on his face.  
"But,"  
"This is non-negotiable if you didn't want to get suspended you shouldn't have started the fight. Now I'm going to bring in Ms. Smith and explain to her what happened. I want you to speak with the counselor."  
Getting up he walked out, he couldn't make eye contact with her. His fault or not he was still ashamed of the outcome. He sat across from the counselor and had no desire to talk to her. He really doubted she would listen since the principal wasn't going to.  
"Have you thought about anger management?"  
"I'm not an angry person. The only reason I hit him was because he came after me and I tried to get away."  
"Well that isn't what we were told by him and the ones who got the teacher."  
"You're going to believe his friends? Obviously they are telling you a lie so they don't get in trouble!"  
"Tamaki I do not appreciate the tone. I am on your side. I want to help you."  
"No you don't, if you did you would believe me."  
The door behind him opened slowly showing Ms. Smith. Grabbing his bag he walked out to leave the school. Maybe three days off wouldn't be so bad.

Ms. Smith wiped his face while they sat in the living room. Tamaki was surprised at how badly his face hurt but then again all day it had been hit.  
"Tamaki please don't take this wrong but I never took you as a fighter."  
"Well that's because I'm not. I did have a friend that was really good. Now he would have made sure Daniel never got close to him."  
"Then why fight him? If you knew this would happen why not say something to someone."  
"They wouldn't listen to me, they never do. Please don't tell my father about this. It's bad enough it will go on my record."  
"As you wish sir."

The three days seemed to speed by. Before he realized he had to back to school. He had it all figured out, he would do nothing, say nothing. If Daniel wanted to say or do something then he would let him. It was obvious that no matter what no one would listen and nothing would change so why bother. He learned that Daniel had gotten out of being suspended thanks to his friends testimony of what happened. He kind of figured something like that would happen since the school kept believing that their soccer star could do no wrong. Everything that happened was the transfer student's fault, the outcast, the loser, the one no one wanted around.  
He really needed to stop going to his locker. Or invest in earplugs since it seemed that's where most of the taunting and teasing took place.  
"I'm surprised you are back so soon, freaks like you should just be thrown out."  
He just kept doing what he was doing trying to block Daniel out.  
"What happened to your balls huh did they fall off? Where is your boyfriend huh? Doesn't he love you enough to save your sorry ass? Oh I'm sorry your girlfriend, right. I bet she has more spine then you do."  
Closing his locker he walked to his class. He could tell Daniel wasn't happy with being ignored but he didn't care he could be as mad as he wanted. This routine started a new one, in the morning he would be taunted and after school he would be beaten up in a bathroom, or in the woods beside the school. They had gotten good at where they hit them though since they stopped going after his face and were going after what could or was covered. This worked for him since it made it easier to hide what was going on from the others.

Having winter vacation came at the perfect time. His body hurt all over and was covered in bruises, his arm hurt from cutting again and not giving most of the cuts a chance to properly heal. If they itched he would reopen them. These two weeks off would give his body a chance to heal after the two months of abuse it had faced. Taking his time he went to sit up on his bed so he could get dressed for breakfast. His father was flying in today so they could spend Christmas together. That would really help this vacation become great and help get his mind off the fact that school was extremely hard to go to. Making sure his sweater sleeves hid all the cuts he had he stepped out of the room, he would try his best to forget everything that happened these last few months, one so his father wouldn't know and two so he would have an easier time trying to act like his old self. After he ate he sat in the living room waiting for his father to show up. He probably wouldn't arrive until after lunchtime since his plane landed at nine in the morning but there was a few hour drive from the airport to his house. He wasn't even going to bother with the piano in helping to pass time, it seemed he couldn't play it anymore and he was tired of always being reminded of that fact. Why deal with that heartache when he could just avoid it all together.

Tamaki sat on the couch watching TV; he was hoping for a movie to be playing but got distracted by the news that was on the channel it was last on. His stomach was flipping and he suddenly felt sick by the story. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that things were as bad as he heard rumors about, they were just rumors after all, and they held no worth. How he wished he was wrong, that this wasn't really what was going on in the country. He was scared but at the same time felt safe.  
"What if they learn the truth though, what if they dig up my past and more than just my classmates see it then what? What will happen to me, what will happen to him? No, I have nothing to worry about because that is not me. I am not one of them." Still his eyes were glued to the screen; he didn't even hear Ms. Smith tell him that his father had just arrived. He noticed he was here when he heard his voice behind him followed by other voices.  
"Father, welcome. I hope everything went well." Jumping off the couch he turned the TV off and faced Yuzuru.  
"I take it I took you by surprise Tamaki? Were you watching something good, you seemed engrossed by it?"  
"No not really. It was nothing important." Helping Ms. Smith they all went into the kitchen to get something warm to drink for Yuzuru. Tamaki hoped to get the news report out of his mind and hoped that his father didn't see it. He wanted to erase his past and erase any chance that anyone here thought it could affect him. That was the only way to know everything would be okay, to make sure it wasn't true in any sense.

While his father was visiting he tried his hardest to act like he used to, he thought he was doing a good job of it but his eyes also seemed to be focusing on what the newspaper and TV said each day. He couldn't get away from it, it seemed the more he tired to the more he became closer to it.  
"Tamaki has been acting strange since I got here, has this been going on for awhile now?"  
"Well sir, I have noticed it and while he hasn't been acting his normal self this is definitely new to me. I told you about him being so quite correct? How he hardly speaks to me anymore about anything. He seems to be in his head a lot recently."  
"Has school gotten any easier on him?"  
"While I haven't been told about any events happening I feel it hasn't gotten easier. I wish you could see the dread in that boys eyes every morning I had to wake him up for school."  
"Why does he stay there then, this is insane. He loved school in Japan, what could be driving him to continue to go there?"  
"I don't know sir but I wish I did."  
"Is he still seeing Miss Elizabeth?"  
"He is and she seems to make him happy which is good to see."  
"But?"  
"No sir there is no but."  
"Marie I can tell you want to say something about it and since I am not here enough to really see them together I want your exact thoughts."  
"Well it's just that I think the relationship is very forced on Tamaki's part. He goes out of the way for her which is fine I guess but I feel that he is doing it so he doesn't disappoint anyone, not because he loves her."  
"I had a feeling he might, not that he doesn't care for her, but more for the fact that he is one to make sure others are happy before he is happy. I'll have to ask him his feeling about her and see what he says. That boy cannot lie to say his life; his eyes always show the truth. Getting the truth from him will be easy whether he realizes it or not."  
Marie was surprised to see Yuzuru half joking about this, to her it seemed a little more serious then he believed.

Yuzuru walked into the living room to see Tamaki sitting at the bay window he always seemed to be at staring out of.  
"What are you staring at Tamaki?"  
He looked away from the window at his father; Yuzuru couldn't get over how he looked. His eyes seemed so dull, as if he was in a haze just passing through life.  
"It's snowing."  
"Oh is it? Guess I picked the right day to come in then huh, seems the weather changed right after I arrived."  
"I guess so."  
"Tamaki can I talk to you about Elizabeth, I want to know how things are going between the two of you?"  
He got off the window sill and sat with his father on the couch. "Things are going well, she invited me to her father's Christmas party but I told her I wasn't sure I could go since you were flying in. She invited you as well."  
Yuzuru noticed that Tamaki seemed to have more life in him as he talked about Elizabeth which was a good thing but there was still something troubling him and no matter how hard he tried Tamaki wouldn't say it. It seemed they were going in circles, never really making any progress in getting Tamaki to really open up.  
"Tamaki don't get upset but, are you doing all of this to forget about any feelings you had for Kyouya? Are you still in love with him?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
I am so so so so sorry that I am taking forever to update and that this chapter isn't that great anyway but I hope you like it. Please review and I hope to update a lot sooner than I have been.  
~Femalefighter~


	12. Nothing, Always Numb

Chapter 12  
**Nothing, Always Numb**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

"Tamaki don't get upset but, are you doing this to forget about any feelings you had for Kyouya? Are you still in love with him?"  
Tamaki jumped off the couch and stood in front of his father.  
"What, no! Why would you think that? I never loved him!"  
"Tamaki I know you cared for him."  
"No I didn't, we were friends only! I was confused, so lost for something that I thought I loved him but he was my best friend and only my best friend."  
"Why are you doing this Tamaki? Had something come between you two? Is that the real reason you chose to leave Japan and not go back?"  
"I'm not doing anything. I refuse to let you spread completely false rumors about me." Done with this conversation he left the room.  
"Tamaki! Come back in here!"  
Yuzuru went to go after him to stop allowing himself to think. Tamaki was lying that much was obvious, but why? Why lie about the feeling he had for Kyouya?  
"Yuzuru, sir, I may have an idea as to why master Tamaki got defensive." Ms. Smith wasn't planning on eavesdropping but she could hear Tamaki from down the hall.  
"Please tell me what you know."

Tamaki leaned against his door while he took deep breaths and tried not to cry. He hated himself for denying the relationship he had with Kyouya but he had no other choice. No one outside of the school could know the truth about his previous relationship with Kyouya. He would have rather had it that no one knew the truth but that just wasn't possible it seemed. Still a few hundred beat a thousand in the long run. Throwing himself on the bed he allowed tears to fall down his face. Tears felt foreign to him now, he hadn't allowed himself to cry since he began cutting again. Why did his father have to bring up Kyouya? He was starting to move on; he was moving on from him and focusing on Elizabeth. It seemed stupid to stay on the one he could never have when he was currently with someone he could. Pulling up his sleeve he stared at all the red on his arm. There had to be at least a dozen cuts on his arm; that included all the ones he reopened. It was funny that he wasn't dead yet. He had more cuts this time, more chances to bleed to death yet he felt a lot better than the first time. The cuts hadn't become infected this time around. Not that he wanted them too, he didn't want anyone to learn the truth, he just found it funny since he wasn't really doing anything different.

Yuzuru watched the news program Ms. Smith had put on for him. He was horrified by what he watched. If this was happening all over than his son could be next. He remembered Tamaki saying back in June that classmates learned the fact that he had been with Kyouya but if this was a country problem then where could he go. Tamaki wouldn't be safe anywhere.  
"Other than Tamaki barely speaking about anything to anyone he seems fine. I don't believe he is going to do something drastic, but then again." Her own son came to mind. She believed he had been happy, he was the last person she would have ever believed would commit suicide.  
"Why haven't people tried to stop this? I remember you bringing something like this to my attention months ago." Yuzuru was floored by this, never in a million years would he think things like this could take place with no end in sight.  
"It's still a touchy subject. Most groups that would help either aren't created or supported by the government. The government is torn, the people leading are either much older and against it or their a little younger and do but when it comes to the votes they fall short. Schools are torn because if they support it parent's protest, if they don't parents protest."  
"But Tamaki should be safe shouldn't he? Why is he so worried about this? He is with Elizabeth currently and publicly."  
"That doesn't mean much to people. I wish things weren't like that here." Yuzuru wanted to take Tamaki away from all of this. His son had already been through enough at his age. It was time he caught a break.  
"Sir, all of this may not be the problem, Tamaki won't tell me what's bothering him so it could be anything really."  
"He may not tell you but I'm his father, I'll force it from him if need be. He will not be another victim."

Tamaki quickly pulled down his sleeve and sat up as a knock came to his door.  
"Father, can I help you with something?"  
"We need to talk Tamaki."  
His father just couldn't let the conversation end, he just had to keep it going didn't he.  
"What is going on with you and school?"  
"Nothing and its just school."  
"You've joined nothing, haven't made any friends, your grades aren't anything to be proud about. Something is going on."  
"There is nothing to join that I like, and I have friends, we just don't hang much outside of school, and school is hard. I have a lot of trouble understanding what we learn. The English language is hard for me to pick up." Normally he wouldn't resort to lying especially to his father but he wanted this conversation to be over.  
"What about soccer, you've always liked it and I believe you could do well with some practice."  
"I don't think that would work." Daniel would surely kill him if he tried to join the team.  
"You need to do something Tamaki, you never leave the house unless you go out with Elizabeth, I want you to do something."  
"Fine I'll do a music program or something."  
"Why is it like pulling teeth when I try to talk to you? I'm tired of the attitude, you've never done this."  
Tamaki just laid back down not sure what to say. He wasn't the same person he was back in Japan or even France he could feel it. He changed, he had to to survive here.  
"I'm thinking about taking you to a doctor and having you evaluated."  
"Evaluated?" Sitting back up he couldn't help but question what his father meant.  
"Yes, I want to take you to a psychologist and seeing about putting you on medication."  
"I don't want medication."  
"And I don't want you staying like this. You know, I'm supposed to have Ms. Smith check you at least once a month for cuts."  
"She'll find none." He really hoped his father didn't want to check, he would flip out. He didn't want him to see his arm and decide to lock him up in a mental ward.  
"Then let me see."  
"Umm yea, sure father." He pulled up his left sleeve first knowing that was clean. As he got to the second one he stared to panic, he didn't want to go anywhere, he didn't want his father to see. Maybe he could beg him not to send him somewhere.  
He reached for his right arm and pulled up the sleeve. As he did they heard a pop and the lights went out.  
"What the?" Yuzuru stood up to get the door and see if the entire house went out. Tamaki quickly pulled down his sleeves taking advantage of the darkness before the lights came back on.  
"Father, hold on, I have a light we can use."  
Reaching over he felt for the book light he kept on his desk. He rarely used it for books so the batteries should be good enough until he could get a flash light. Stepping out into the hall they saw a light coming up the stairs.  
"The storm knocked the power out, that, or a car hit a pole." She handed them a flash light so they could see the stairs better.

Tamaki was grateful that the power went out and stayed out for awhile. It wasn't good in the having heat department but it saved his butt with his father and his arms. The conversation wasn't brought up again since they tried to figure out how to find out how long they were going to be without power.  
"Ms. Smith do we have marshmallows?"  
"Marshmallows? I think so." Going into the kitchen she came back with Mr. Williams, bags of marshmallows and sticks. Since they had the fire going anyway they had to make the best of it. It seemed he was getting better at faking his happiness and smile. Knowing his father was paying close attention to him he was always making sure he didn't slip up. As they all sat around the fire Tamaki couldn't help but get swept up in just watching it crackle. He knew his father was talking to Ms. Smith and Mr. Williams but he had tuned them out. The fire was beautiful, his mind danced with it, from topic to topic.  
"Tamaki your marshmallow is on fire." Feeling a hand on his shoulder he snapped out of his mind to see a small ball of fire at the end of his stick. Pulling it out he blew it out and went to eat it.  
"That can't taste good." Yuzuru was horrified by seeing it black, he hated anything burned and that topped the list right now.  
"Actually it's not bad, that's why I did it."  
In reality he couldn't taste it; he couldn't taste much of anything anymore. It seemed to be the price to be numb. To shut down feelings one had to shut down all feelings including taste buds it seemed.

Tamaki woke up to the sun in his eyes, today was Christmas. Knowing he got to spend the holiday with his father and the others excited him, knowing he was one day closer to going back to school didn't.  
"Is Elizabeth coming over later?" Yuzuru asked Tamaki while they sat in the living room with Ms. Smith and exchanged a few presents they all had for each other.  
"No, she can't she is in Manhattan with her family today."  
"You should see if they are free for New Years."  
"I guess but I wouldn't be surprised if they throw another party." Tamaki was glad that his father got along with hers but still, the idea of them hanging out bothered him.  
"They might but that wouldn't be so bad now would it?"  
"No I guess not."  
"I am very pleased with whom your grandmother chose for you. I believe she is good for you."  
Tamaki just nodded, not that he didn't really believe him; it was just that he was still waiting to feeling something towards her. Right now he felt the feeling that she was just a friend to him. He could tell she felt something more towards him but he hadn't felt it yet.

A few days before New Year's Tamaki went out with Elizabeth and her friends. He didn't see why he had to go. He already met them and they would talk about things girls normally talked about but he felt bad saying no. He did wish her friends brought their boyfriends along though so he would have someone to talk to but no such luck.  
"Elizabeth I envy you for having Tamaki, Tony always refuses to go out with me."  
"You need to dump his ass. Tamaki loves to come with me, don't you Tamaki?"  
"Of course princess. So long as it makes you happy."  
"Uh such a gentleman. Maybe I need to look for someone from overseas instead of the men born here. Tamaki you don't have brothers do you?"  
"I'm sorry but I don't."  
"Of course you don't. Well as the saying goes all the good ones are either gay or taken." The other girls including Elizabeth started laughing agreeing with her. He just smiled politely to show he got the joke and tried not to show the panic on his face from hearing that. Not that he was gay but ever since Daniel and his friends found out about Kyouya and hearing about so many people being beaten up and killed because of it he was worried.

Why did winter break have to end? Why couldn't it last forever? He couldn't take school anymore. The day he came back he walked out of one of his classrooms to be tripped by Daniel and fell. He was walked on by Daniel and his stupid friends on their way to class. There had to be some way he could leave the school. He had enough, maybe he should just do home schooling.  
"Just transfer."  
He sat with Elizabeth at a restaurant to eat before they went to the movies. She fixed her makeup while he mentioned what he had been thinking about.  
"I don't know, I'm having trouble with the language, transferring may not really do anything." That wasn't really true but he told his father the same story and that seemed to work then so why not try it now.  
"Well the only other choice you have is to drop out and get your GED or get homeschooled."  
"What's a GED?"  
"The General Education Development, it's the high school diploma equivalent. You can use it to get into college. I would just get homeschooled though. Getting your GED usually means that you dropped out of high school which makes you sound like a loser. I don't date losers."  
"I'll have to ask my housekeeper than if she could home school me than."  
He didn't want to tell Ms. Smith of his plan though. She would ask questions and tell his father who in turn would ask questions. Maybe he would dropout and just not tell anyone while he got his GED. No one had to know, he didn't need people to go to his graduation.

Looking for information online he found out that the only way to drop out without parental consent was to be eighteen. He had to fill out a form stating he was leaving and that was it. He would probably have to show id proving that he was old enough but that wasn't too bad. He had gotten a drivers license back in September once he had his cast come off. His father thought it would be a good idea for when he turned eighteen and he wasn't going to complain and it worked out for him now. Lying in bed he stared at the ceiling and smiled in excitement. He would leave the Ross School on April eighth, the day of his eighteenth birthday. He could last four months, sure it would be two months from graduation by then but he couldn't take it anymore he had enough. He was officially done with all the shit he was put through. Besides he would be lucky if he even had the grades to graduate at the rate he was going. He hadn't really done homework in months and scored low on tests.

With a plan made he counted down the days until his birthday. Every day he got to mark off made him happier and happier even when something happened at school. Ms. Smith saw color and life coming back into his eyes. She started to believe that it had simply been the winter season that got to him. Seasonal depression wasn't unheard of during the winter. She happily told Yuzuru of the change who was relieved as well.

Tamaki woke up to his alarm and jumped out of bed. Today was his birthday! He was finally eighteen! The plan was to go to school, take everything out his locker that wasn't the schools, hand his form in and leave never going back. He couldn't wait, he was so excited. It seemed like forever since he felt this way but he happily welcomed it back.  
"Good morning!"  
"Well good morning to you too Tamaki. Happy Birthday." Ms. Smith couldn't help but smile as Tamaki excitingly sprang into the kitchen for breakfast, how she missed this side of him.  
"Thanks. Today is such a good day; my birthday couldn't have fallen on a better one I think. Plus, I'm finally eighteen, finally legal."  
Placing breakfast in front of him she was overjoyed with this attitude.  
"Is Miss Elizabeth still coming over later to help celebrate?"  
"Yep! She said she was coming right after school."  
"What would you like for dinner Tamaki?"  
Mr. Williams walked over to have breakfast with them as usual. "Happy Birthday." Handing him an envelope Tamaki stopped eating to open it.  
"Thanks Mr. Williams but you didn't have to. Can we have that fish thing that I loved the last time?"  
"The salmon? Sure." He watched as Tamaki read the card and took the scratch off out.  
"It's sort of a tradition here, your first lottery ticket since you have to be eighteen to play."  
"Thanks, that's so cool. What do I do?"  
"Just read what the directions are and then scratch off what you have to."  
Pulling out his sword keychain he unlocked it to use it on the ticket.  
"Where did you get that Tamaki?"  
"What's this? At that antique place, it's a letter opener, pretty cool huh?"  
"The school allows it?"  
"The holder is plastic and I keep it locked so they don't fear it as a weapon."  
He didn't win anything but he put it on his desk to put it in his little storage box later. Making sure he had his form he grabbed his backpack and got in his car. He couldn't wait, this was it, soon he would be able to say good-bye to the Ross School, to the useless staff and teachers, to the kids that ignored him, and to Daniel and his stupid friends.  
"This is the best birthday ever!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hurray it didn't take months to update I don't think. I'm so proud of myself. I'm getting closer and closer to the end I think, a couple more chapters it looks like. I hope everyone is enjoying it. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	13. Ideas Create Illusions

Chapter 13  
**Ideas Create Illusions**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

As the car pulled up to the school Tamaki debated telling the driver to just wait here, that didn't really work though; he didn't want anyone to know he was leaving school. Oh well he could walk to the town hall it was no big deal. The weather was nice, sunny, still a little bit chilly since it was early April but it was warmer than it had been. Going into the building he messed with his backpack looking for his drop out form while he headed to his locker. Glancing up every once in awhile he felt that everyone was watching. For some reason it seemed worse than usual. Becoming self conscious he slowed down realizing he was walking fast. Finding the paper he pulled it out and fixed his backpack as he got to his locker.  
"What the?" Confused, he saw papers sticking out of the air vents on the top of his locker he tried to pull them out. It seemed they were stuck but what were they? Finally pulling it out his whole body froze, as he flipped through page after page he could feel each internal wall shattering. He wished he could kill himself right then and there; he was staring at picture after picture of himself. Every picture showed himself naked, some it seemed he was modeling, some he was with someone, privately. There was no way Kyouya took pictures of them together was there? He wouldn't do that would he? His hands shook as they fell from his hands, his body quivered as he stepped back. Looking over his shoulders he could tell everyone was watching him, staring at him, laughing at him. Their voices, their laughter rang throughout his head. Turning he bolted towards the side exit at the end of the hall and out of the building. His legs didn't stop running until he was in the middle of the woods next to the school. Stopping for air he fell on the ground, tears poured from his eyes. From head to toe he was in pain, the thought of death was welcomed into his mind. Maybe he would just stay here forever; it wasn't like anyone would miss him. He was just a freak in everyone's eyes; there was no way he could ever go back there. That's right, he was supposed to drop out, there was no way he was going to step back into that building and he was pretty sure he dropped the form when he ran out. Nothing mattered anymore for he was never moving from where he was.  
"Can I die? Can't anyone just kill me where I stand?"  
The tears steadily flowed from his eyes with no sign that they were going to stop soon. Taking his back pack off he pulled out his drawing notebook. Ripping out the pictures he drew of Kyouya he ripped it into shreds. He had been betrayed but the one he loved, he wanted nothing to remember him by. Even his memories he wanted gone. The only person he ever truly cared, the one he had always felt safe and protected with, had broken his heart into millions of tiny pieces. There was nothing he cared for anymore. If everyone wanted to hurt him then he wouldn't get in their way. He would give them their wish. Pulling his keys out of his pocket he grabbed the blade from it. Running it across his arm he watched as the blood flowed out. This cut went deeper than the others, this was the one he had always refused to do before now. Closing his eyes he laid his head on the dirt he let the thought of death wash over like the gentle breeze. So this was peace, it felt wonderful.

Hearing bells in the distance Tamaki's eyes opened. He wasn't dead? How was that possible? That cut seemed pretty deep. Sitting up he felt weak, exhausted, he needed to go back to sleep. Hearing bells again he realized the ringing was the school bells. School was getting out for the day. His car was probably waiting for him, he should go to it. He should tell Ms. Smith his plan of never returning to school since his original idea failed. It took him a minute to stand and start walking out of the woods. He was on no path but following the sounds of cars starting he saw the school come into view. Hiding in the bushes he waited until most of the students left before heading to his car. He could tell he was dragging himself to it but he had no desire to move, nothing in his body wanted to work.  
"Hello Master Tamaki how was class today?" The driver had the door open waiting for him Tamaki just threw his bag on the seat and got in.  
"Take me home."  
Having no energy for even simple conversation he said nothing more.

Ms. Smith excitingly waited for Tamaki to step out of the car. She had a few questions to ask him about today. She hoped school went well for him today. It was his birthday, he deserved one day where he could be happy all day. Seeing him exit she saw he had dirt on his uniform, his eyes were puffy but the worst was seeing how lifeless he was.  
"Tamaki what happened, are you okay?"  
"I'll be in the office. I will see no one."  
"Tamaki I got a phone call from your school today. They said they you never showed up but Anthony swears he dropped you off. What happened? What's wrong? And what about Elizabeth coming over?"  
"I said leave me alone!" Snapping at Ms. Smith he stopped keeping his back to her before dropping his back pack and going upstairs.  
"Tamaki?"

Going into the office he locked the door and walked over to his desk. Taking the framed picture he had of Kyouya and himself, one from when they first met, he threw it against the wall. It was such a waste of ink to print this off his computer. He would have to delete all of the other pictures he had of them together for there was no way he was going to keep them. Moving to the window sill he sat at the bay window and looked out over the ocean. All he wanted was to be left alone and forgotten about was that really so hard? When no one wanted him around anyway it should be easy, but no someone was always bothering him, asking stupid questions, trying to find out what was wrong.  
"I wish I could just disappear forever then I wouldn't have to deal with anyone."  
With the stereo remote in his hand he turned on the radio just hoping for anything to help with the pain he felt throughout his being. Closing his eyes he tried to fall asleep again. He prayed that this time his eyes would stay closed forever this time.

_Well he's on the table and he's gone to code  
And I don't think anyone knows  
What they're doing here  
And you're friends have left you  
You've been dismissed  
I never thought it would come to this._

Tamaki's eyes opened seeing he was still in the office. Once again he woke up; death seemed to laugh at him by not coming. Looking out the window he saw the sunset coming, so much for a happy birthday. Turning off the stereo he walked out of the room to go outside. Watching the sunset would make this day a little better. Not a good day or doable but perhaps the pain would decrease some. Smelling the sea water he stood in his normal spot to look over the horizon. He wouldn't mind if this was the last thing he ever saw it was a beautiful sight. Taking the keychain still attached to his pants he unlocked the sharpened letter opener from its sheath. Taking it to his neck he closed his eyes. It may not have been anything big but done right it would probably still work. He could feel the blade hovering not even inches from his neck. Pulling it away he opened his eyes. What was he doing? If he ended it this way he would leave a mess for the others. No, he needed another plan if he really wanted to do this. Closing his eyes again he listened to the sound of the ocean crashing against the rocks below him. It was music to his ears, so peaceful. Opening them he moved a little closer towards the edge and looked over. That was it; the idea was exactly what he was looking for. The rocks and far drop would probably kill him and the current could drag him off to sea leaving nothing for Ms. Smith to worry about. Perhaps the fish could take care of his body leaving nothing to come up on shore.  
_*Why did I leave you? I still love you. Every moment away from you creates one more scar, one more broken promise. Kyouya I love you and I'm sorry I never got to tell you that. Please be happy.*_

Ms. Smith took Elizabeth and her bodyguard, John, out back to see Tamaki. She arrived later than she planned on but something had come up and got stuck in traffic for hours just trying to get over to his place from her school.  
"Master Tamaki Ms. Elizabeth is here to see you."  
She saw Tamaki closer to the edge of the cliff than normally and more than she liked.  
"Tamaki come here so I can celebrate your birthday. You invited me to do just that didn't you?" Elizabeth stepped a little closer towards the edge of the patio to stop as Tamaki turned his head to them. Both could see the hopeless look on his face.

Tamaki turned back towards the ocean, he thought he heard voices but he didn't see anyone through his blurry eyes when he looked.  
"Kyouya, I love you, good-bye."  
Tears rolled down Tamaki's face as he closed his eyes and stepped off the edge.  
"Tamaki!" Both women rushed forward as they watched him step off. John ran past them knowing he was physically able to try to stop him.  
"Get him John, don't let him drown!" Elizabeth watched from the patio as John dove off the edge to go after him.  
"Elizabeth please stay here I'm going to call for help!" Ms. Smith ran into the house to call 911.

The salt water burned as it entered Tamaki's lungs. He couldn't see anything but he could feel the current bashing him against the cliff. He could feel himself sinking after his head hit something hard. His lungs were already burning from lack of air it wouldn't be much longer. Coughing up the remaining air he lost consciousness.

John dragged him to the shore, it wasn't close to where he fell but it was the only way out of the ocean. Ms. Smith was there with EMT's, Elizabeth, and Mr. Williams, hoping Tamaki was okay. Placing Tamaki on the sand John stepped away towards Elizabeth allowing the EMT's to do their job. Mr. Williams put an arm around Ms. Smith as she shook in fear for Tamaki. Her hands covered her mouth trying to fight back the memory of her son. Hiding her face into his chest she tried to not hear the EMT's say he wasn't breathing. Not him too, he couldn't die too, she didn't want to lose another son. Mr. Williams watched as they tried to get Tamaki to cough up all the water he swallowed. He had never had a son before; he had been married before but was childless. To him Tamaki was his son and seeing him unconscious teetering between life and death worried him more then he could say. Time seemed to slow down while they waited for something.  
"Come on Tamaki, breathe."

Hearing faint noises above the ocean and EMT's brought everyone to attention. They watched as Tamaki's body jerked before he started coughing, He was rolled to his side to allow the sea water to leave his mouth as he tried to cough it all up.  
"Tamaki! Oh thank god he came back to me." Ms. Smith cried tears of joy seeing his eyes open, not much but enough to show he was alive. She wanted to run over to him and throw her arms around him to keep him close. She would never let him go again but she couldn't get near him as the EMT's lifted him up on a stretcher to take him to the hospital.  
"Come let's follow him in the car." Keeping an arm around Ms. Smith's shoulders Mr. Williams led them off the beach. Making plans with Elizabeth to meet them at the hospital and thanking John again and again they headed to the car.  
"Do you want me to call Yuzuru or do you want to?"  
"I'll do it. Tamaki was placed in my care and I let him down. It's my responsibility to tell him."  
"Don't beat yourself up for this; there was nothing you could have done to stop this from happening. We should all be grateful that it took place where someone could go after him and not while we were asleep.  
Mr. Williams had a point but she still felt that she let him down somehow. She had seen the signs yet it still came to this. Tamaki hadn't fallen, the ground didn't let go, he had jumped. He had tried to end his life. What did she do wrong to bring him to this point?

"He is flying out on the first flight he can get on." Ms. Smith closed her cell phone and placed it on her lap.  
"How did he take the news?" Mr. Williams let her out of the car first before following her to find where Tamaki was being taken to.  
"He is upset of course but he doesn't know how it happened. I felt it better to tell him face to face."  
"That's probably for the best I would do the same."  
They stopped talking as a doctor came out to talk to them.  
"He should be okay now. He does have a concussion but nothing looks broken. Considering the fall he took he is very lucky. He is on oxygen for now while his lungs recover from all of the salt water he took in and while we get out what is still left. You're more than welcome to see him though until visiting hours are over."  
Leaving them alone they walked into his room to see his head towards the window but his eyes closed. Getting closer it looked as if he had been crying again.  
"Tamaki." Ms. Smith walked over to take his hand gently so not to disturb him.  
"Ms. Smith?" His voice was soft and garbled from the mask. His lungs hurt with the rest of him, speaking was painful, breathing was painful. Why did it come to this?  
"I'm right here sweetie, you're okay now."  
"Ms. Smith, why can I die?"  
Both froze at those words, it may have been a whisper but they were a crystal clear. He pulled his hand away from hers and looked away. Seeing Mr. Williams he lowered his head and eyes, he didn't want to see anyone.  
"Try to get some sleep Tamaki I'm sure your exhausted." Mr. Williams made a gesture to Ms. Smith for them to go; there was nothing they could do now. He could only hope with her that once he rested questions like the one he just asked would be out of his mind.

"I'm sorry sir. I should have realized sooner." Ms. Smith sat across from Yuzuru at the home before they headed to the hospital.  
"I want a fence put on around the backyard. I was stupid for not putting one up sooner."  
"Sir I,"  
"Marie I want you to know I don't blame you. I want to thank you for saving him."  
"I didn't do anything; Elizabeth's bodyguard was the one that went in after him. I don't think I would have been of any use to him otherwise."  
"I think it's time I saw him to figure out what is going on inside that head of his." Standing he headed down the hall towards the front door.  
"Please give Tamaki my love." Ms. Smith chose to stay behind knowing Yuzuru wanted to be alone with his son. Maybe he could save him, after what he said yesterday she had a feeling this wouldn't be the only attempt on his life. She feared he would try until he succeeded.

Tamaki sat up in bed glad to have the oxygen mask off but was still hooked up to IVs. He heard something about the salt water in his blood or something serious like that. He could hear his father talking to him, asking about why he did what did, asking about the cuts on his arm and how long they have been there. He didn't answer them though, he had nothing to say. He had no voice, he felt empty. Just a shell without a soul, he felt nothing. He could barely listen to what his father was saying, his head was spinning with the thought from yesterday. Why couldn't he die? How come the one thing he wanted wouldn't come true? He got that his cutting yesterday wasn't done right but the cliff; why didn't that work? Why did he have to be saved? Couldn't they tell that death was what he wanted?  
Yuzuru stopped talking to look into Tamaki's eyes. They looked empty, he may have been talking to his son but he wasn't there, not really.  
"Tamaki, how can I get you back?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yay I updated sooner again and I already started the next chapter! Go me! Please review and let me know what you think.  
~Femalefighter~


	14. Mind Hurts Memories

Chapter 14  
**Mind Hurts Memories**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

"How does your head feel Tamaki? Does it still hurt?" He shook his head 'no' to Ms. Smith's question. He hated being here, stuck in the hospital. Doctors always asked him questions, always running tests, his family always watching him, asking questions. He wanted it to end; he wanted to be left alone. It wasn't like he answered them, he hadn't spoken since Ms. Smith couldn't answer his question about why he was still alive. Why did John have to save him? Why didn't the impact kill him like he planned? This wasn't what he wanted, none of this was what he wanted.  
"Have you eaten dear? Are you hungry?" Again he shook his head no. Maybe one day she would get the point. His father was here as well but he didn't see him much. Yuzuru always got frustrated when he was here. Apparently him not talking would just piss him off. Oh well, it wasn't like he asked his father to show up.

He stared out the window as another doctor walked in, probably to evaluate him some more. Seeing the wires in him pissed him off. It wasn't like they were doing anything anyway; he felt exactly the same as he did before. All of this was because of Yuzuru, because he wanted him on medication, he wanted people to keep an eye on him. Hate wasn't a strong enough word for his father and how he felt towards him.

"Mr. Suoh, it may be in Tamaki's best interest to go into a hospital with a better psychiatric floor to help manage his depression." Tamaki broke out in a cold sweat hearing that. He couldn't go there, that wasn't him, he wasn't one of those people.  
"Can you give me a few names so I can look into them further?"  
"Of course, I'll have the nurse write up the list and give them to you."  
"Thank you."  
Ms. Smith turned to Tamaki to see his reaction with this. It was obvious to her that he was panicking, what they were discussing was the last thing he wanted.  
"Yuzuru, sir, maybe we should just leave Tamaki home. Moving him may not be the best."  
"And at home he is? He had his chance to do this his way and look where it got him, now it's my turn. I refuse to have him go through this by his own methods anymore. I will not let him try the same stunt twice." They acted like he wasn't even in the same room as them. Hearing every word he refused to be moved, he refused to be taken to the psychiatric ward and treated like some crazy person. Yuzuru rushed over to Tamaki stopping him from removing the wires he started pulling out to leave this place on his own.  
"Tamaki stop! Please stop. Talk to me." Seeing the hopelessness in his eyes broke his heart every time he looked into them. It was like he was looking into the eyes of a stranger and not the son he knew for the last eighteen years.  
"Father, please don't. I don't wanna go anywhere." His voice was just above a whisper. It felt as if he had only thought the words, even his words didn't sound real anymore.  
"Then what do you want to do Tamaki? I'm not keeping you like this and you've shown me that things are worse than I thought."  
He didn't know how to respond, he didn't know how to make it better, to make it all go away. He just didn't want to go anywhere but home.  
"Home."  
"Home? Home with me or just home?"  
Home with his father meant going back to Japan which meant possibly seeing Kyouya again. After what he did to him he never wanted to see him again.  
"Just home." He still didn't understand why Kyouya would do that to him. If he wanted things to end, if he was mad at him for leaving he could have just said so he didn't have to do something so extreme.  
"We can't release Tamaki until we are sure he will be in a safe environment."  
"The house has someone there round the clock is that what you mean?"  
"It's a start."  
Walking out of the room with the doctor Yuzuru went to discuss options.  
"Ms. Smith?" Tamaki stared at the sad state he was in. He looked as horrible as he felt, but, would it get any better once he went home?  
"What can I do for you Tamaki?"  
"Is this what it feels like to have a broken heart? Is this what it is like to know the only person I've loved let me down and hurt me in the most destructive way possible."  
"What happened dear, who hurt you?"

Yuzuru stood at the edge of the backyard and looked over the ocean. He could see how his son found this tranquil, the view and sounds were relaxing. Looking down he saw the rocks on the bottom, Tamaki was extremely lucky, whether he realized it or not. He had feared this happening after hearing how he wasn't speaking or doing anything, and failing school. He figured things would only get worse. He never imagined he would commit suicide or attempt to but he suspected the cutting had been started, he suspected that back at Christmas. Still, something didn't sit right with him. The story Tamaki told Ms. Smith didn't make sense. Kyouya wouldn't release photos of himself with Tamaki, mad at him for leaving or not. If photos like that had gotten released then they ran the risk of being seen by his own family and he knew Kyouya wouldn't want that and risk hurting his family's reputation.  
It was a good thing he would be in the states for awhile since it would allow him to keep a better eye on Tamaki. It seemed the school he was supposed to run in a few years was being protested by the people surrounding the zoning area. The family was going to ignore it and continue with what they planned but things seemed to be getting carried away and someone had to step in. If things had been different he would have Tamaki tag along to learn but with things as they were it wouldn't be for the best.  
"Yuzuru sir, the school is on the line, they found something it sounds like."  
Turning away from the view he walked back towards the house to get the phone. Hopefully this was what he was looking for.

He knew he felt happy to be home. Deep down past the part of him that was dead he was happy to be able to sit in the living room and watch the sun set. One of the rules to him coming home was that he wasn't allowed to be outside alone even once the fence was put up. He felt like a child again. He couldn't do this, couldn't touch that, had to be supervised with almost everything. He couldn't touch sharp objects, even at dinner; his keychain was taken away once they realized it was sharp and it being in the shape of a weapon worried them from the start. It was probably a fair deal since he was able to go straight home from the hospital but being confined to so many rules didn't make him feel any better. He had learned the truth of what happened at school; it hadn't been Kyouya at all. All the photos had been photoshopped and the ones responsible had been caught. Now they faced legal issues and would probably have to go to court. His father also formally dropped him out of school and decided he would attend another school when he was ready. It sounded like everything was going well, life was picking up a sense of normalcy again but he felt too far gone to be fixed. He could no longer play pretend and force a smile he didn't believe in. Maybe he would live the rest of his life in a daze, always seeing things through cloudy eyes. If that was the case then he should just try to make others happy. He never could be but he had to seem like he was trying.

"Father, can I ask you something?" He had gone upstairs after getting back from seeing Elizabeth. His father was in the office working on something it seemed. He knew something was affecting their plans to build here in the states he just wasn't sure what and he wouldn't talk about it he kept saying not to worry about it, that it didn't affect him.  
"Sure Tamaki." No matter what he did or what they talked about Tamaki gave the same attitude. What he wouldn't give to see his son smile again, to see him truly happy for life.  
"Could I go into the city with you tomorrow? I want to discuss something with Mr. Rockefeller."  
"Sure if you want but what could you need to discuss with him?"

The trip into the city had been a silent one for the most part. Tamaki was plotting out what he was going to say exactly and Yuzuru was working on paperwork or something. He was surprised by what Tamaki planned to do, it seemed sudden. But he said he had always known it would come to this, recent events just became the deciding factor that now was the right time.  
"Here we are Tamaki. Good luck though I'm sure you don't need it. I'll pick you up when I'm done. If you don't want to wait then have the driver come get you and take you to me."  
"I will. I hope things go well for you as well father."  
He got lucky that Elizabeth's father was free with such little notice. He knew he was a busy man and had no right to take time to see him like this. After being checked in he was taken to the top floor where he was let straight into the office. Shaking off the fear he was starting to feel he walked closer to the desk.  
"Ah Tamaki glad to see you again. I heard what happened on your birthday, such a shame. But happy to see your well." That's right his father was telling everyone that he had fallen from the ground giving out. He thought it best to not tell people the truth so he would be left alone and avoid bad reputation and Elizabeth never talked about what happened.  
"Thank you sir, I'm sure I wouldn't have been so lucky if it hadn't been for your daughter's quick thinking. I owe her my life. Speaking of your daughter, I would like to ask for your permission to ask for her hand sir."

"It's nice to see Tamaki getting ready to take Miss Elizabeth out." Ms. Smith was setting the table for dinner while Yuzuru stopped working for a few minutes to talk with people about things other than business.  
"It is, whether it's for a proposal or not. Maybe things are getting better faster than I thought."  
"Proposal? Sir you aren't serious."  
"I am, apparently that's why he came to the city with me the other day, to ask for permission from her father. He said he would have done this earlier in the week but the ring had to be special ordered and didn't come in until today."  
"Excuse me for saying this sir but don't you think it's too soon? That he isn't too young?"  
"I'm not against the engagement but I told him he had to wait a few years to get married. I don't want him rushing into this and then be sorry down the road. I know you both can agree that divorces suck, to be put bluntly." Both nodded in agreement remembering their own divorces and neither of them having a good time of it. They stopped talking as they heard Tamaki coming down the hall.  
"I'm going to go now."  
"Good luck my boy. Bring Elizabeth here after if you can so I may congratulate you both properly."  
"Sure father."  
Tamaki walked out of the kitchen to get into the car that was waiting for him. He should probably feel nervous or feel anything for that matter but he still felt numb. Maybe things would have been different if he actually swallowed the pills he was supposed to take instead of spitting them out once Ms. Smith turned away.

As far as he knew Elizabeth didn't know of his plans tonight. He wanted to surprise her though she had brought up the idea of getting engaged to him a few weeks ago. Once things started to settle back down from last month's 'disaster' as everyone put it they got to talking. He told her he owed her his life and would do anything to start repaying her. He hadn't known that she truly cared for him as much as she did until she sent John after him so learning she did and told him that all she wanted was for him to propose to her he agreed. It was really the least he could do for her and he did have to marry her one day so why wait. It wasn't like he was going to be with anyone else. The only other person he might have spent his life with was miles away so he didn't see that ever happening. Besides they never really could have been together so dreaming about it was pointless. Seeing Elizabeth walking over to their table he stood to greet her.  
"Hello Mademoiselle you look as lovely as ever." Taking her hand to his lips as he did every date he sat her down so they could think about ordering. He didn't want to just jump right into it; midway thru dinner should be fine. While they were eating Tamaki stopped and taking her hand stood up to kneel on one knee beside her chair. He figured she knew what he was getting at before he said anything since this seemed to be tradition but he stuck to what he planned.  
"Elizabeth I know we haven't known each other very long but a lot has happened to us already and I know we will always have each other's back. So I need to ask, will you marry me?" Seeing her smile he pulled out the ring he got for her and slipped it on her finger.  
"I will Tamaki, yes." Placing her hands on the side of his face she stood him up to kiss him.  
"Now you're _my_ Tamaki. I get to have you for the rest of our lives and every other girl can be jealous."  
He just smiled slightly before he sat back down; at least one of them was extremely happy.  
"You never cease to amaze me though, how did you know I was in love with this ring?"  
"I saw you fall for it every time you went through that jewelry catalog."  
As she stared at her finger he got lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for the engagement it was just that he hadn't fallen in love with her yet. They had years before a wedding so hopefully by then he would. He refused to believe that he never would, he cast away the part of him that loved Kyouya. It was his only choice, now it was just a matter of time.

Getting home for the night he laid on his bed and stared at the photo he had of him and Kyouya. The only photo he had professionally printed back in Japan. It was one of the only things he brought over with him. Picking it up he took a closer look at how happy he was back then. The smile on his face had been real, the love he had was real, nothing on him was forced back then. It didn't seem real that that was him staring back. Seeing as he felt nowadays the picture seemed like ancient history. He could feel his heart beating faster as he thought about their times together, those memories held such happy times. Here was hell and there was heaven, what had he done to end up here?  
"That's right, I killed Kyouya's future. I hope he got it back, he deserves it." Placing the photo back down he looked up at his ceiling, his face felt flushed from thinking about Kyouya again. No, this had to stop. He thought he moved past these feelings. He _had _to move past these feelings. He was with someone, they were engaged, he couldn't think about past loves, it wasn't fair to Elizabeth. She deserved all of him; she was so caring and kind towards him in a world so cold. He would do all he could for her to repay her for her kindness. As the thought of Kyouya grew stronger he sat up and held his head in his hands.  
"What have I done?"

0o0o0o0o0

I plan to start writing the next chapter as soon as my hand allows it. This story is starting to come into its final chapters and this is really the end of this series. I really mean it this time. Please review they are loved very much I promise.  
~Femalefighter~


	15. Open, Kyouya's Opportunity

Chapter 15  
**Open, Kyouya's Opportunity **

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

"Oh Tamaki! Aren't you happy that I get out of school next week?" Elizabeth danced into his living room. It seemed ever since their engagement she became much livelier. She had already dragged him out to tell her friends not even a week after he did.  
"I can't wait to be done, we have so much to plan before I go away to school."  
"Don't you think your rushing things? Neither of our parents wants us to get married right away."  
"I am well aware of that but there is still much to do. We'll have to book a place soon because the best places need to be booked years in advance."  
"Oh, I see."  
"And of course I want your help in the planning not to mention that everything has to be perfect. A girl starts planning her wedding as a child so that when she needs to she knows exactly what she wants."  
"Of course princess, you know I will do all I can for you."  
He would let her do whatever she wanted so long as they married. The only fear he had was not having the energy for this. All he wanted to do was sit on the window sill and look out. That's all he had the energy for anymore and it was all he needed really since Elizabeth now had enough for both of them.  
"Oh I almost forgot I'm meeting with the girls to pick an outfit for graduation. I'll get you something to wear as well."  
"You don't have to, I was just planning on wearing my suit."  
"I'll see if I can find something." Placing something on the coffee table she kissed him good-bye."  
Half curious to know what she left behind he slid off the window to check it out. Seeing it was a wedding catalog he placed it back down and collapsed on the couch.  
"Everything all right Tamaki?" Ms. Smith walked into the room surprised to see Elizabeth gone already.  
"I'm not ready to do this wedding planning."  
"You had to expect something like this if you asked her to marry you. Weddings are time consuming."  
"I'm aware of that but, I don't know."  
"Are you scared you made the wrong choice?"  
He sat up and stared at his hands, he really didn't know what his problem was. Well other than the fact that he was thinking about Kyouya quite often again. It seemed to make him feel better when he talked about wedding things with Elizabeth all day. He was starting to fear he would never fall in love with her.  
"Tamaki?"  
Looking up at Ms. Smith he saw she was watching him, probably waiting for an answer.  
"No I'm not scared about that. I don't know maybe I'm just worried that I'm not good enough for her. I mean she is graduating in a few days with plans to go to Connecticut for her bachelors this fall and then Harvard for however many years and I didn't even graduate high school and have no plans to yet."  
"You're worrying about it too much Tamaki. If it was truly a problem I'm sure she would have said something to you about it." She always took Elizabeth as someone that didn't settle for less or deal with people that would make her look bad.

Tamaki sat with Elizabeth's parents at the Long Island Arena for Elizabeth's graduation. As he watched the principal give his speech and then the Valedictorian he wondered if Kyouya gave a speech at his own graduation. He knew it would be coming up, his father flew back home the other day to attend. He would be surprised if Kyouya wasn't at the top of his class, he had been for as long as he knew him. He should have been there too or at least attending the graduation at his own school. Daniel had been right all along, he really was a loser. The graduation was nice and only took at most two hours. It was hard to really say since it started a little later than the program said and he hadn't been staring at the time.

"Congratulations princess, my little girl is a high school graduate."  
"Aww, daddy stop."  
She pulled away from her father to get closer to Tamaki.  
"Your happy for me right Tamaki?"  
"Of course I am."  
Moving even closer she kissed his cheek before taking his hand to drag him off to meet people. This was always the hard part, making sure he matched her happiness. Sometimes it was easier than others, now didn't seem to be one of those times.

Now that Elizabeth was out of school she came over everyday around noon and would stay until around nine.  
"Tamaki I can't decide which one is better Leonardo or Jericho Terrace."  
Pulling him off the window sill she sat him down on the couch beside her. He was handed two booklets with plenty of photos and information on both.  
"I really am in love with Leonardo's but something about Jericho Terrace just won't let me forget it." Something about Leonardo's stunned him, it held such a beautiful view even from the pictures.  
"This one, if your heart is set on this one then so is mine."  
"Okay then I'll call them in a little bit to discuss dates. I was thinking in June before the weather gets too hot."  
"If not June than May would be good too wouldn't it?"  
"I guess so, so around June sixteenth twenty- twelve. We'll be twenty-two then and I should be done with school before I go to Harvard."  
"Twenty-twelve, that's fine."  
"I knew you would approve."  
"Okay now on to the color theme."  
They weren't done for today? They just decided to have the wedding in twenty-twelve, that was four years away.  
"Don't you think your rushing things? We have plenty of time to go slow."  
"Ummm no! Sure we have years but I have to focus on school in September unlike you. I also need to know the color so I can get my bridal party together and start looking into dresses. I need to find the perfect designer and it will take time to make sure all the dresses are perfect. Don't you want me to look perfect and beautiful for our wedding?"  
"Of course but I think you are already perfect,"  
"You don't care at all do you! You would probably love it if I was ugly!"  
"No, that's not it."  
"You're such a jerk Tamaki!" Getting up she ran out of the house with tears in her eyes.  
"Elizabeth!" He stood to go after her only to stop and fall on his knees. Taking a couch pillow he covered the back of his head with it as he slammed his head into the couch cushion.  
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh!"  
"What happened Tamaki, did you two get in a fight?" Ms. Smith walked from hearing the commotion from the back of the house.  
"I hate wedding planning." Taking the pillow off him he sat back on the couch and laid across it.  
"Why does it have to be so complicated?"  
She couldn't help herself as she laughed and laid a tray down.  
"They can cause drama but bear with it; it will all look and be wonderful. Why not eat something and let Elizabeth calm down and then talk to her."  
"I'm not really hungry. I might just go over there now."  
"You know Tamaki you are hardly eating again. You look like you have lost weight, do you need to talk to the doctor about possibly changing your prescription?"  
"No, I'm fine. Who knows maybe it's the medication that is making me have a little appetite." Standing he walked out of the house, he would just walk over to hers. He had been feeling restless lately, hopefully this would help that. And it wasn't the medication that caused him to not eat; he still never actually took them.

Grumbling yet happy to be home from apologizing to Elizabeth he collapsed on his bed. He really didn't have the energy for wedding planning and the more they did the more worried he became. The whole thing was starting not to feel right and the longer this feeling lasted the more nervous he got.  
"I can't go back now, can I?"  
"Sir, are you asleep already?"  
Hearing Ms. Smith outside his door he sat up and invited her in.  
"I just wanted to let you know that your father just called. He is staying in the city for a few days while he meets with the town about the school. He also wanted me to tell you that there is a car show starting in a couple of days up there and that you might enjoy it."  
"Oh alright thanks. I have never done anything up there that wasn't some formal thing, sounds fun."  
"Might be fun to go to, give you a break from all the wedding planning."  
Nodding he laid back down covering his eyes with his arm.  
"Are you alright Tamaki?"  
"I have a headache all of a sudden it seems. I think I'm going to call it an early night.'  
"You're probably hungry. You didn't eat lunch and you barely touched dinner. Why not go downstairs and have Mr. Williams make you something, or I can if you would like. I know you have a lot on your mind but you need to take care of yourself."  
"No it's okay I'm fine I think I'm just going to go to bed."  
"Well alright but if you change your mind let me know." Watching him for a moment she walked out and let him be.

She was worried about him, now knowing what lengths he would go to feel better and making sure he didn't push himself so hard. His father kept him out of school to avoid the stress and allow him to focus on getting out of his depression. It seemed to be helping but now with the wedding planning he seemed to be going in reverse. She had been hoping to talk to Yuzuru about it and see if she was just over reacting or if the change was really there but it looked like she would have to wait.

"You don't want to go there." Elizabeth sat on his couch writing down some details as she seemed to be always doing, at least they were done for the day it seemed.  
"Why not, it could be interesting. I've never been to anything like it."  
"Who cares about seeing a bunch of cars? The only ones who go to it are people that can only dream of driving them."  
"I can go alone if you don't want to go."  
"It might be better if you don't go at all. It will look bad on you; people will probably get the wrong impression. You have enough going against you do you really want anymore? Besides what you do affects me as well and I can't have you running off and ruining my name."  
"I guess you have a point."  
He figured people talked about him, enough with everything that happened since he got here they really didn't need more. Turning to look out the window he started to watch the sunset. The summer brought the prettiest sunset he thought. The orange and pinks always blended the best around this time of year. Settling into the windowsill he got comfortable and relaxed with the help of the view. He sat up at the doorbell, it rarely went off and always startled him.  
"I'll get it!" Elizabeth put her stuff down to stand and get the door. He settled back down guessing it was for her then, maybe one of her friends now that she knew her bridal party.

Hearing her talking to someone he went back to the view.  
"Who was at the door?" He was surprised to not hear two sets of footsteps walking in. The hues of pink and orange coloring the sky held his attention for this was what he looked forward to every day. _*I wonder if Kyouya has ever seen a sunset like this?*_  
They shared the same sky no matter the distance so it was possible wasn't it?  
"No one really, he had the wrong address."  
Taking his eyes off the sky he moved his head, studied her face for a moment before going back to the sky.  
"Come Tamaki let's go see what the chief made for dinner." Taking his hand she pulled him off and out of the room to the kitchen.

Ms. Smith went into Tamaki's room to make his bed as she did every day. She felt bad for him having to be up and out of the house so early. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet but apparently Elizabeth needed him for something at nine thirty so he couldn't sleep in. Finishing up she heard the house phone start ringing, walking into his office she went to pick it up.  
"Hello?"  
"Hello, is this the residence of Tamaki Suoh?"  
"Yes it is, unfortunately he just left for the day but he should be back around seven."  
"Could you please have him call me when he gets in?" She grabbed a pen and wrote down two numbers she was given.  
"And who shall I say called?"  
"An old friend from Japan. He will know." Excited for Tamaki over this caller she couldn't hold back her smile.  
"Of course, I'll make sure he gets this."  
"Thank you."  
Hanging up she couldn't wait for Tamaki to come back home. Something told her that this was what he needed, that he would be happy for once. She could only guess who that was but she didn't feel wrong about it.

Tamaki walked in the front door of his house and took a deep breath glad to be home. He got home earlier than he thought but he wasn't complaining, he had gotten up early to go out with Elizabeth and now he could take a nap before dinner. Getting ready to walk into the living room he was stopped by Ms. Smith in the hall.  
"Tamaki welcome home. I have a message for you." Taking the paper with the phone numbers on it out of her pocket she handed it to him. "The caller said he was an old friend from Japan."  
"Japan?" His eyes shot up from the paper to her to see if she was lying to him, if he had really heard her right.  
"Yes, that's what he said."  
"I'll, I'm going to my office to, to call him back."  
"Of course Tamaki."

Holding the house phone in one hand and the paper in the other he tried to dial the number. Was it Kyouya that called? If so then how did he find him? What if it wasn't, what if it was someone from his school just messing with him? Should he even try the number? Deep down he had to try, he had to know who this was. Maybe it wasn't Kyouya, it could have been the twins or even Mitsukuni, he didn't think Takashi would call; he wasn't a talker to begin with but it could be. Taking a breath he dialed the first number, his nerves started to run wild as the phone just rang. After the seventh ring he hung up, if a voicemail system was in place it would have picked up by now. Trying the second number he felt his heart stop as it went straight to voicemail.  
"You've reached the voicemail of Kyouya Ootori. Leave a brief message and I'll call you back."  
So it was Kyouya, he found him; he was in the country, possibly nearby even. His body tried to function again as he heard the beep to leave a message.  
"Hello Kyouya…it's been a while hasn't it? I hope you are here for awhile; hopefully we can talk, to…catch up. Let me know what's good for you, okay? Umm…I'll be home for the next few days so call me when you get the chance. Talk to you soon…hopefully." Hanging up he collapsed back into his office chair. Now he just had to wait and hope Kyouya called him back. Kyouya, he was here somewhere, how would he react to hearing his voice live when his heart already sped up at a recording? What would they talk about?  
"Kyouya, mon ami."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
I am kicking ass with chapter updates with this story. Please review, I love you long time if you do.  
~Femalefighter~


	16. Abducted Never Abandoned

Chapter 16  
**Abducted Never Abandoned**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

The stereo played in the room, nothing too loud, not to drown out other noise but just enough for him to listen and relax with. Time seemed to stop or at the very least go in slow motion as he waited for Kyouya to call him back. His favorite band seemed to help pass the time but he wouldn't be content until they spoke. He was nervous, what would they talk about? Would they make plans to see each other or would it only be over the phone? Hearing one of his favorite songs start playing from his iPod he turned up the volume, he could always lower it after all.

_Cry out all who care to know  
I've been hollow way too long  
I know where I'm going wrong  
There's nothing I can do  
I believe you can get me through  
Nothing else will do  
I believe you can get me through  
So can you stop the bleeding?  
Get me through…_

He had just shut his eyes to allow the music to take him over when a ringing pierced his mind. His eyes shot open as he sat up and turned down the volume. The phone was ringing, the phone was ring! That was probably Kyouya. But what if it wasn't? Should he answer it or should he have Ms. Smith answer it? No, he had to. It was at the third ring already, he had to pick the phone up soon before the answering machine would take it.  
"Okay, pick it up." He didn't want to seem nervous or make it seem like he had been waiting but he snatched up the phone and spoke before his mind could follow through with its plan.  
"Hello?"  
"Hello? This is Kyouya. Is Tama,"  
"Hi Kyouya!" _*Damn it!*_ Why couldn't his mouth shut up?  
"Tamaki. How have you been?"  
Well Kyouya sounded a little nervous too, that helped.  
"I've been good. What about yourself?"  
"I've been good as well."  
"So, are you here on business?"  
"I am."  
"Do you have some free time? Do you want to come over one day if you can? I've got nothing going on really."  
"We can do that. I'm busy this weekend with work but I have Monday off if that works for you."  
"Monday is fine." Elizabeth was talking about going into the city on Monday to start talking with designers for her dress so that would be perfect.  
"Do you have paper nearby, I'll give you my address."  
"I already have it."  
"You do? Oh did you get it online?"  
"Well yes but Tamaki I have already been to your, you know what never mind."  
"What? You've already been where?"  
"Forget it it's not important. What time is good for you?"  
"Well it will take you awhile to get here. I take it your coming from somewhere in the city? How about around two, that way you don't have to get up too early I remember you were never a fan of early mornings."  
"Two it is then. I guess I'll talk to you when I see you."  
"Umm sure. I'll talk to you Monday then."  
"Till Monday Tamaki."  
"Bye Kyouya."  
When they hung up Tamaki wanted to pinch himself. Had he really just spoken to Kyouya or was he just dreaming?  
"No it was real, after what seemed like forever ago since they had spoken last and now they even had plans to meet up.

_There's nothing I can do  
I believe you can get me through  
Nothing else will do  
I believe you can get me through  
So can you stop the bleeding?  
Get me through…_

He should let Ms. Smith and Mr. Williams know about his new plans. If Kyouya was coming around two then he would stay for dinner so they would have to do something special. Turning off his iPod he walked around the room feeling better than he had in months, possibly even years.  
"Did you get the phone Tamaki? I figured it was for you so I let it go."  
"I did and a friend of mine is visiting Monday, please make sure everything is perfect. Not that it isn't always, I'm just saying I'll help anyway I can."  
"We'll alright, you can help by telling Mr. Williams so he can go shopping if you want something in particular."  
"Right."

Elizabeth sat with Tamaki the Sunday before Kyouya's arrival to go over more plans. This was the topic he had been dreading, sure he disliked it before but this was the part that scared him, their honeymoon.  
"Tamaki I was thinking how about a week in the Bahamas and a week in Aruba. I can't decide on either one and we're in no rush so the time in one place isn't an issue. I'm sure my father will cover the expenses."  
"I'm sure your right. A week at both sounds perfect so we'll do that."  
"We'll have to get the cutest hotel with the best view. It has to be super romantic to work as our honeymoon spot and not just some vacation."  
With that taken care of he decided to change subjects for a little bit. He tried not to sound nervous to avoid a fight.  
"You don't want me to tag along with you tomorrow right?"  
"What are you trying to get away from me?"  
"No of course no. It's just that you're going to look into dress designs right? And isn't it bad luck for me to see the dress before the day of so wouldn't it be bad luck if I didn't stayed here and it was just you and your friends?"  
"Your right, how could I forget about that? So you'll stay here."  
Well that worked, now he wouldn't have to worry about her tomorrow. Not that she and Kyouya couldn't get along but he really wanted to talk alone with him.  
"I was thinking, maybe I'll spend the night because I won't see you tomorrow."  
"I don't know, your father could get the wrong idea and I don't want to upset him."  
"God Tamaki I swear you want to get rid of me. Are you seeing someone else? That's it isn't it!"  
"What no, I would never cheat on you!"  
"They why do you want me gone? I'm not telling you to have sex with me I'm just saying that maybe I'll sleep over and besides I don't live with my father so he isn't going to try to worry if I don't go home."  
"Your right and I'm sorry to have upset you. Why don't we put a movie on and spend the night?"  
"Now that's better." Taking his arm to snuggle closer to him she rested her head on his shoulder while they picked a movie on demand.

Carefully lifting Elizabeth in his arms Tamaki took her upstairs to the guest bedroom for the night. She fell asleep midway through the movie, it worked for him since she picked a romantic one that made him uncomfortable. Laying in his own bed he tried to fall asleep even though his mind wouldn't shut up. Kyouya was coming over tomorrow, he was really coming. Had he changed much? Long hair, short hair, more personal, or more business like? Would he be pissed at him for leaving the way he did? He watched as the clock moved minute after minute, hour after hour. He wondered if Kyouya was up from being unable to sleep as well. Too bad he couldn't call him; if he was asleep he didn't want to wake him. Reaching up on his desk he grabbed his iPod and let Daughtry play while he tried to sleep.

Elizabeth was upstairs getting ready to go out into the city. She planned to stay for a few days allowing Tamaki to have a break from planning, though he knew she didn't see it as that. Going outside he decided to relax under the red wood that hung over the patio keeping him in the shade. He was hot in his long sleeves today but he wanted Kyouya to believe he had stopped cutting more than a few months ago. Maybe it wasn't really hot though, maybe it was just his nerves. He would be here soon; would he call when he got close? No, probably not knowing Kyouya. But, now that he thought about it did he really know him? It had been a while, he could have changed.

"Tamaki, sir, Mr. Ootori is here." Tamaki looked up and slowly stood. Staying where he was for a moment, letting his eyes take in what they missed seeing for so long.  
"I'm glad you're here Kyouya." His voice cracked as he fixed his hair making sure he looked as perfect as he could.  
"Tamaki I'm going out with the girls, I'll be back later." Elizabeth came out from inside and stopped upon setting eyes on Kyouya. She could feel these two had a history together; the air was awkward between them. Who was this guy, didn't he get the hint the first time he arrived and she sent him away?  
"Elizabeth, this is Kyouya Ootori, we went to school together back in Japan. I invited him to spend the day so we could catch up since I heard he was in the country for a few days." She quickly walked over to Tamaki and wrapped her arms around him.  
"Oh that's so nice, I hope you enjoy it."  
She said it with a smile and gritted teeth. She would have to show this idiot his place, Tamaki was hers now. Releasing Tamaki she extended her left hand out for Kyouya. Both could feel the sparks fly as he took her hand.  
"It's a pleasure, Ms…?"  
"Elizabeth Rockefeller, it's so nice to meet someone from Tamaki's past." She could tell he saw her engagement ring, perfect. She got her point across it seemed.  
"Is that ring a Tacori? From the heirloom collection if I'm not mistaken."  
She removed her hand to admire the ring. Neither saw Tamaki drop his head wishing Kyouya hadn't learned about it so soon.  
"Yes it is, what a sharp eye."  
"Well congratulations to you both." Tamaki looked up at Kyouya with pain in his eyes surprised to hear him say that. But, was that pain he saw too in Kyouya's? He was trying to hide it but he could see it. Elizabeth smiled as she turned to Tamaki.  
"I'm going to be late, see you later." She ran back into the house feeling accomplished and no longer worried about Tamaki doing something with this loser.

Neither said a word for what seemed like an eternity. Tamaki stepped a little closer to break the silence but feeling guilty for Kyouya learning the truth in that manner he kept plenty of space.  
"I have an office inside, let's go talk in there." Having Kyouya follow him inside he led them upstairs to his office and let him enter first. As he walked in Tamaki whispered to him.  
"I am, really glad to see you." He noticed Kyouya stayed standing near the door even after he was offered a seat. He could still see the pain he inflicted to him just before with Elizabeth. He didn't want him to leave though, they were finally together after so long.  
"How are the others? You graduated right? Where are you going to study next?" He could tell his questions were the last ones Kyouya wanted to hear but maybe they could get the awkwardness around them to end.  
"I guess they are alright. I haven't seen much of them since we decided to close the club. I know the twins and Haruhi stayed close friends."  
"You disbanded the host club?"  
"It was decided at the start of my junior year. What do you care what we decided? You left so suddenly, never contacted anyone. Just dropped us from your life."  
"I thought that if I came here, everything would work out better for you. My thought was that if I left you alone your father wouldn't come down on you. You had done so much for me but in the end I ended up messing up everything."  
"Well you leaving solved nothing."  
Tamaki's spirit dropped, he didn't want to hear that. That meant he had permanently ruined Kyouya's future. He had gone through hell here, tried to end his life from it and Kyouya still never got what he desired most in life. He could feel his eyes start to water.  
"What did you do?"  
He made Kyouya snap at him, he must be pissed for hurting his future so badly, not that he blamed him for the anger. Walking to the window he watched the waves roll on and off the shore.  
"When I arrived here I was fine, after my first month I started feeling so home sick. School was so hard, everyone seemed to shun me, they all had groups that were unlike what I knew." He pressed his head against the window getting lost in the waves both the ocean and his mind were supplying.  
"I thought about getting on the next plane for Japan and going back…"  
"What stopped you?"  
"I didn't think you would take me back, and I couldn't ask you too either. Not after what I did to you." Getting up he moved closer to him. He wanted Kyouya to wrap his arms around him, he missed the security they brought more than anything else. "I'm sorry, for everything. Being here is a mistake and if I had been able I would have told you that sooner." Instantly he felt better finally getting the chance to tell Kyouya what he locked away from everyone.  
"You had my number, how were you not able."  
Tamaki stopped walking closer, what was he talking about? He was the one that blocked him wasn't he?  
"I tried but your number wouldn't go through. No one's number would work. I would always get the same message, everyone's cell phone and house phone was blocked." Why did he get the feeling this was news to him?  
"Tamaki, answer this for me…are you happy now? Can you look to tomorrow with that smile I knew you to have or is that gone?"  
Shoving his hands into his pockets he sat at the corner of his desk. How was he supposed to respond to a question like that?  
"I haven't done _that_, if that answers your question." Pulling his hands out and looked at his sleeve to his scars.  
" 'My scars would be bad publicity', or so I was told."

Neither spoke for a little while, they didn't want to bring up what needed to be said. Both feared a horrible ending, one that could mean the end of everything, though as more and more time passed it became unavoidable. Lost in silence and thoughts one of Tamaki's favorite songs came to mind. There was a reason they were his favorite.

_Will you listen to my story?  
It'll just be a minute  
How can I explain?_

_What ever happened here  
Never meant to hurt you  
How could I cause you so much pain?_

"Tamaki do you love her? You seemed so uncomfortable when she was near you earlier?

0o0o0o0o

Cliffhanger I know, I promise next chapter will be up soon. This would have been longer but I changed my mind when I got here. Plus I was having hand issues again and I wanted to make sure I got up what I had done. Also to the people that reviewed with awesome, made my day, reviews, thank you. Glad you are all enjoying the story and hope you continue to. Thanks again.  
~Femalefighter~


	17. Love Never Lost

Chapter 17  
**Love Never Lost**

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!  
A/N- This is it folks last chapter! I hope you enjoy, if my hand lets me I'll do a bonus chapter, like one I did for Smile. I want to talk about it but I want to surprise everyone with it. I'm gonna shut up and let you read the last chapter. ENJOY! _Amour Victorieux Tout_

"Tamaki, do you love her? You seemed so uncomfortable when she was…near you earlier?"  
"Come outside with me, I want you to see the sunset here. It's nice; I have always wanted you to see it." Tamaki led the way to the corner of the backyard. Leaning against the fence they watched the ocean, the sun was starting to set the sky on fire. It felt unbelievable to be looking out at the ocean with Kyouya besides him. This was real life wasn't, he wasn't dreaming right?

Sliding his hand into Kyouya's he made sure not to change his eye focus.  
"I don't." He could tell Kyouya was confused by what he said as it covered his face and could be felt through their hands.  
"I don't love Elizabeth; our engagement was only arranged so no shame would come to my name. I just can't fall in love with her, she is really kind and crazy at times but my feelings don't change. There are times I have to force myself to really look like I'm in love. Why is it so hard? I don't know why I can't seem to look at any girl with the thought of having a relationship with them." He felt Kyouya squeeze his hand, if only he knew how much he loved that. "Kyouya how can I marry her, and have the honeymoon night she is planning when the thought scares me instead of it exciting me?"  
"Tamaki, maybe you will never fall in love with her or any girl for that matter."  
"What are you saying Kyouya?"  
"Tamaki has it ever crossed your mind that maybe you aren't into women? Back at the host club you never had true feelings for any of the girls correct?"  
"It has crossed my mind, many times but Kyouya, this can't happen. If I mess this up I will have nothing. I need to be able to support myself, Kyouya we both know our families would look down on us for being gay. My father doesn't care, he has told me that, not so forward but he has suggested it. This marriage is at the call of my grandmother; she wants to make sure I don't ruin anything; that I don't follow in the footsteps of my father. If she found out about me, anyone I wanted to be with she would ruin!"  
"So you marry Elizabeth, someone whom you have no feelings for just to please your Grandmother? What will you do in ten years when you find someone you do care for, you'll be ten times more likely to follow the footsteps of your father by doing this!"  
"How?"  
"Tamaki you are here right now because your father was forced to marry someone he didn't love! Does this marriage not send up alarms for you?"  
"But, I can't just back out now, can I? I mean it's not fair to Elizabeth, she did save my life…" _*Damn I said more than I wanted to. Kyouya has always had this ability though, he is the only one that has truly understood me.*_ His eyes went wide as Kyouya pulled him close.  
"I thought you said you never did anything?" Hearing his voice so close, so soft in his ear, he felt every defense he had ever set fall. Water poured from his eyes. He felt Kyouya pull him closer, he could hear his heart beat, so kind and strong.  
"Tamaki what happened, please don't push me away anymore."  
Slowly moving his hands Tamaki stepped back.  
Wiping away the tears he was still shedding he looked back over the ocean.  
"Elizabeth had just been introduced to me, she is my neighbor actually. I had been depressed from missing Japan, the Host Club, and especially you. I couldn't take it anymore so I decided that I would just let the pain end, forever. I stood here one night, just like this and planned to jump off the edge. Drown myself, quick and simple, no real planning. So I did, I jumped. Elizabeth had just been taken to the backyard by the house keeper when she saw me step off the edge. Her body guard was with her and she had him jump in after me." Looking over at Kyouya he saw he was frozen, this was why he had hoped to never tell him. At lest he made it seem as if this hadn't just taken place last April.  
"She saved my life, I wasn't planning on fighting the waves, or worrying about the rocks for nothing matter to me anymore. I had lost it all in my mind." He stopped as Kyouya grabbed him and pulled him close. Both shed tears, one that had been buried deep within for so long. The sky spread around them, the color brighter than it had ever been before.

Tamaki pulled apart first and stole a long overdue kiss as he did. Realizing what he did he took a few steps back.  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I had no right."  
"Why, I'm not."  
Tamaki could feel his heart beating faster as those words reached his ears. Soon after Ms. Smith called them in for dinner, they didn't know she had seen them together. Nor did they know the happiness she got from it. It was obvious to her that they were each other's true love, they deserved to be together.

"Kyouya you told me you were here on business correct? But you told me before that your father never forgave you so then what are you doing here? Who are you working for?" They sat in the dining room for dinner. They had been in left alone to talk in private, Tamaki really loved those two, they always understood.  
"I was offered a job by Fuyumi's husband. He is willing to train me while I attend school. The job pays well which means I can soon provide for myself and anyone else."  
"That's really good to hear. I'm really glad things worked out for you. Speaking of school how was graduation? I haven't seen my father since he got back from it to ask him."  
"It was just like any graduation I guess. What about yours? Do the people here do anything different?"  
"No, not really they are basically the same, more speeches if anything."  
"And what are you doing next? I remember you telling me once your grandmother had plans for you to attend some school correct?"  
"Umm yea, I will be attending a university in Connecticut in the fall for business." Kyouya couldn't know he was a dropout; he didn't want to be treated differently by him of all people. The more they talked the more Tamaki noticed he was laughing, he hadn't laughed like this in so long. At times they got serious but others they just enjoyed being near each other.  
"Tamaki answer this for me, will you go through with it? If the wedding is at the call of your grandmother will you go through it even though you don't love Elizabeth?"  
"I have to, my grandmother may have called for it but I formally proposed to her, I can't just turn to her and say never mind, it isn't fair to her."  
"But you're not happy!"  
"Please Kyouya let's not argue about this right now. It's been so long I want to enjoy this time together."  
"Your right, I'll stop, I'm sorry."  
When they finished up Kyouya noticed it was already after seven, he had to get going.

Standing by the front door they said good-bye.  
"Thank you for coming here Kyouya, to take time from your limited free time to spend it here with me. I hope the rest of your business trip goes well. When do you fly back to Japan?"  
"I leave next Monday, after the car show closes. Tamaki, come with me, let's pick up where we left off."  
He knew his mouth dropped, open wide. When he went to stop the thought Kyouya stopped him first. "I leave late Monday so think about it, I'll come back Monday for your answer." With that he walked away leaving Tamaki alone in the doorway.

Watching his car drive out of sight he closed the door and walked to the living room calling for Ms. Smith as he did. Crashing backwards over the arm of the couch he stared up at the ceiling. The car show? So did that mean if he had gone the other day as he had planned before Elizabeth stopped him he could have run into him there? Had she known about that? No, there was no way she could have.  
"What can I do for you Tamaki, is everything alright?"  
"I need an ear."  
"What's the problem?" Taking a seat across from him she waited for him.  
"Kyouya wants me to leave with him next Monday. He wants me to end the engagement and move back to Japan."  
"And you don't want to?"  
"I don't know what I want to do."  
"Well if you want my thoughts I think Kyouya is a very nice boy that makes you happier than I have ever seen you with Elizabeth."  
"Ughhhhhhhh."  
"I know you've been unsure with what to do for awhile now but I think if you decide you want to be with Kyouya you decide it soon. You don't want to marry her and divorce her shortly after because you realize the marriage was a mistake."  
"But can I just end it?"  
"Tell her that you can't marry her. She may get upset but I know she would rather you tell her now and not by leaving her at the altar."  
"You don't think it would be a bad decision? I really don't want to hurt her. Elizabeth has done so much for me."  
"Stop thinking about what others want for once and think about what you want." Standing she stood over him and pointed to his heart." For once listen to your heart and what it wants rather than this." Pointing to his head she smiled before walking out. His heart huh? She had a point, he was happier being around Kyouya and his heart was telling him not to lose him again, just as it had been since he left Japan. But, he couldn't just ignore his head. He had a week to get everything sorted out. By Sunday he would know, hell he knew now. He would have left with him today without a day or regret if Kyouya asked him to.

"Tamaki! I'm back!" Elizabeth came back on Wednesday and walked into Tamaki's house with bags.  
"Welcome Ms. Elizabeth, Tamaki is up in the office."  
"Thank you; please have something brought up for us." Walking upstairs she went into his office scaring him half to death. He didn't expect her to just come in, hell he didn't even know she was here.  
"Hello Elizabeth how was your trip, did it go well?"  
"I have a few designers on stand-by so once it gets closer and we know the summer fashion we can get to work. I also got these for you." She put the bags on the floor. Where they all for him? There was no way she considered him out of style.  
"So how did it go with your friend?" Sitting on his desk she leaned closer to him. He could hear himself swallow with her so close. This took uncomfortable to a whole new level, he had been thinking about Kyouya right when she came in which wasn't helping in the slightest.  
"It went well, it was nice to catch up with him."  
"When does he go back to Japan?"  
"Next week, after he is done with work."  
"Is he coming over again?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Aww darn, that's such a shame. I would have liked to know him better, since he was a friend of yours and everything." She knew Tamaki was too stupid to realize she wasn't serious. Good riddance to him, an old relic of a pathetic past in her book.  
"At least you have me right?"  
Chills ran down his spine as she whispered in his ear and nails caressed his cheek.  
"Mmmhmmm, yea."

Sunday night Tamaki got ready to go out to dinner with his father. Tomorrow Kyouya was coming for him, he planned to tell his father of his plan and hoped he approved because like it or not he was going through with it. He was going home, he would be with Kyouya, the one his heart wanted.  
"Amour Victorieux Tout."  
Content with everything he walked downstairs to wait for his father to show up. Soon after he left Ms. Smith answered the phone, it was Kyouya just calling to let Tamaki know he would be there around three tomorrow and to be ready to go because they would have to leave soon after he arrived if they wanted to make the flight. She was so happy for Tamaki, finally doing something he wanted and not what others wanted for him.

Monday morning Tamaki woke up excited yet dreading the fact that he still had to tell Elizabeth. He tried to all week but she wouldn't give him a chance, now he had no choice. He was leaving tonight and had to end it with her.  
"Tamaki!" Taking a breath he stepped out of his room and downstairs so they could talk.  
"Morning Tamaki, I was hoping today we could,"  
"We need to talk Elizabeth."  
"Oh about what?" Taking his hand she sat him down besides her.  
"I'm leaving. I'm moving back to Japan tonight."  
He knew she would be upset but the anger that crossed her face scared him.  
"You're doing what?"  
"I'm leaving. I was offered the chance to go back and I decided to take it. I'm sorry but,"  
"No, you can't do this! What about me? What about all we have been through together? Do I mean nothing to you?"  
"I'm sorry but I can't marry you,"  
"He doesn't really love you!"  
"What?"  
"That guy that was here, Kyouya was it, he doesn't really love you. He showed up two years after you left. He only wants you now because he can't get anyone else. I've been here! I was the one that kept all your secrets just that! I'm the one that saved you when you jumped, not him!"  
"And I'm grateful for everything."  
"You're an asshole! Do what you want and when he leaves you don't come crawling back to me! Remember this, I know you never finished high school and have nothing going for you now, he doesn't I figure. I accepted that, will he? Will the man who believes becoming something means everything accept you once he knows the truth?"  
Pushing Tamaki away she stood up and left the house. Her words swirled around his head as he went back upstairs.

"Tamaki, sir, Mr. Ootori is here." Stopping at a random radio station he let Kyouya in.  
"Kyouya are you okay?"Standing he met him at the door realizing he look frightened all of a sudden.

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint  
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same  
Call me your favorite, call me the worst  
It's all that I can say. So I'll be on my way._

"Kyouya speak to me, what's wrong?" Shaking his head he walked past him to the stereo and turned it off.  
"Sorry but I can't hear that song right now."  
"That's fine, I was switching stations when you got here and I just stopped at wherever I was."  
"Are you ready to go? Traffic is terrible and we need to make sure we are at the airport in plenty of time. Security is a pain from what I gathered."  
Tamaki closed the door and kept his back to Kyouya.  
"You are coming with me, aren't you Tamaki?"  
He could hear Kyouya trying not to lose his voice.

"I'm so sorry Kyouya."  
"What? Why won't you come with me? Hearing Kyouya's emotions breaking through Tamaki closed his eyes even though he couldn't see Kyouya. He couldn't see the pain he was causing.  
"This is my home now, and I can't back out from my promise to Elizabeth." He couldn't face him. He knew he was probably breaking his heart, he knew his was.  
"You don't even love her! How can this be the best choice for you?"  
"I'm sorry Kyouya but I can't go, I'm sorry for making you come all this way, I'm sorry for everything." Somehow he was managing to hold back the tears that his eyes were flooding with.  
"Is this really it Tamaki? You can't be serious. You hated being here; you said coming here was a mistake. How can this be what you want?"  
"I don't expect you to understand, just trust me, this is what I want. I think you should go, I don't want you to miss your flight."  
"Fine! I'll go, and next time you decide to jump do us both a favor and fucking jump!" Tamaki was pushed back as Kyouya left the room. Tamaki fell to his knees, crying in his hands as he heard the front door slam shut. That was it, Kyouya was gone. Forever out of his life. Did he really make the right choice? Suddenly he didn't think so, still he couldn't chase after him, not after this. This really was the end. His mind became clear, Elizabeth's words left him, she was wrong, she had no idea what she was talking about. Kyouya truly loved him and he just gave him up. He couldn't handle this, the biggest mistake of his life. He looked up, through his blurry vision; the samurai sword he hung up when he first moved in was above his head. Using the wall he stood up to get his hands around it. He closed his eyes as he lifted it above his head.  
"I love you Kyouya. Now I can't hurt you anymore, ever." Tears rolled down his cheeks as he brought the sword down.  
"Master Tamaki!" Ms. Smith ran in grabbing the sword just before it pierced through his skin. He opened his eyes to see her holding the blade in her hands while the point touched his skin.  
"What do you think you're doing Tamaki!"  
"I ruined everything. Just let me do this!"  
Forcing the sword from his hands she threw it across the floor and stopped him from going after it.  
"I will not let you end your life. If you didn't want to lose him then go after him. I thought you planned on going with him, what happened between you two?"  
"I'm so stupid. How could I do that to him? All I've ever done is hurt him."  
"That boy loves you and if you do too then you'll go after him. Home is where the heart is and your heart has never been here."  
"Go after him?"  
"Yes, you need to go after him." Taking his hand she dragged him out of the office and downstairs to tell Mr. Williams to take Tamaki to the airport, since he had a car and it would be faster than waiting for a driver. He realized her hand was bleeding from grabbing the blade but she wouldn't let him worry about it.  
"I don't even have money for a ticket; my credit card has a limit remember?"  
Ms. Smith pulled a card out of her pocket to give it to him.  
"From your father. Now go, no more excuses. Go get what you desire."  
"Right! Come on Mr. Williams. Kyouya said traffic was bad!" Running out of the house he jumped in his car. Kyouya had a good ten minutes on him but they could still get to him.

Kyouya hadn't been lying, traffic was terrible but they got caught in an accident and could only hope Kyouya's car did too though something told Tamaki he had missed it. The closer the clock got to nine and still not seeing the airport made him start to sweat. It was twenty to nine by the time they arrived. Jumping out before the car even came to a complete stop he ran into the building. Hopefully it was delayed. The airport seemed busy for a Monday night. Stopping only for a second to see what gate the flight was at he went straight back to running. He couldn't let Kyouya get away, they had to go back together.  
"Thank god." The tellers didn't have a super long line, running up to one he tried to get on the flight.  
"I'm sorry sir but no one without a ticket is allowed to board."  
"And I'm telling you I have a ticket. I am flying with Kyouya Ootori who is on that flight right now and he has my ticket. There has to be a way someone can contact him and let him know.  
"I'm sorry sir."  
"Fine, then can I just buy a ticket?"  
"I'm sorry sir but that flight is booked."  
"But my seat is empty so no it's not."  
"I can't do anything sir and it seems that flight is taking off now."  
"What?" Turning he ran towards the windows facing the flights. "No…" A plane with Japan Air across the side passed the window. That was the flight he was supposed to be on, he could feel his heart moving further and further away with it. Tears welled up only to be wiped away before they could fall. He couldn't give up now; he had to chase after him. Running back to the teller he was able to buy a ticket for the next flight out. It wasn't until twelve thirty in the morning but at least it was a flight. This was really happening, he was at the airport, he was going home. Feeling around he felt his cell phone in his pocket, good he did grab it. Setting up two way calling he dialed Mr. Williams and Ms. Smith to let them know what was going on.  
"I'm so sorry you missed your flight sweetie."  
"Its okay I'm on the next one. Listen I want to thank you both for everything. I'm so glad I got to know you and I wish you both the best luck. Oh, and if there's a wedding I want to be invited." He knew they weren't public about any relationship but he could tell there was something going on between them. It would be nice to know if they became a couple, he figured they would be happy together.  
"We should be saying that to you Tamaki."  
"I think I've had enough of weddings for awhile."  
"In all seriousness take care of yourself. Keep in touch if you can."  
"We love you Tamaki. Best of luck in the future. If you ever need something let us know."  
"Thanks you guys. Thanks for making America suck a little less for me and being there when I lost it." Hanging up with them he walked around for a little bit, he did have time to wait and there were so many shops here. Looking down at himself he noticed his shirt had a hole in it from where the sword tip broke through, it wasn't a big hole but it bothered him. He didn't want to try to win back Kyouya with pity when they met up again so throwing out any evidence that he tried something was important. This was his last day in New York, good riddance. He really didn't have good memories of the place and he couldn't really see himself coming back, there was nothing here for him.

Word must have gotten to his father that he flew out later than expected as someone was waiting for him when he landed. He wasn't sure if Kyouya was still at his old house but it was his best bet. If he wasn't there maybe he could get in touch with someone from the host club and figure out where he was living, maybe even get the number for Fuyumi's, there was always the possibility he was living with her and her husband. Pulling up to the house he ran up the walk to the front door, this was it, no turning back now. Before he even rang the doorbell he heard Antoinette start barking, that was a good sign. Ringing it he waited, what would he say? The sun was starting to set so he could only hope he was home. His flight had landed hours ago he knew that much. Hearing Antoinette barking on the other side of the door he leaned in.  
"Antoinette, it's me, is Kyouya there?" He could tell she was practically dancing on the other side. He took that as a yes. Ringing the door bell again he waited. Someone had to get the door eventually. Hearing a voice he knocked, he refused to give up now. The bolt unlocked and the door opened, Kyouya was there. He needed to say something or Kyouya would shut him out, anything would work.  
"When I was in America someone told me, home is where the heart is, and I realized as you slammed the door to leave that I left my heart here; with you."  
He could tell Kyouya could say nothing, but was that a good thing?"  
"I know I'm asking you to forgive me and I don't know if this goes for both of us but as soon as I allowed you to walk away my life was over. If you can't forgive me then I will go and you won't have to worry about me ever hurting you again." While he waited for Kyouya to say something, anything, he was as strong as he could be.  
"Tamaki, you're not completely to blame. I assumed that you would just drop all you had to come back."  
"I was ready to, the day you came, that first time I saw you after not for years I was ready to forget it all. Yet, I was so scared that if I did, something would happen, something that could never be undone. I believe that once I realized what I was. I became so scared I let it run my life."  
"What you are?" Kyouya stepped aside to let Tamaki enter the house through they stayed near the door.  
"Yea, you know…I would hear about the battles going on in New York over being gay, and I just didn't want to accept it. I'm sorry, I know it was something we talked about before I left but still the thought of being abandoned by my family just got the best of me. I mean I know you said you would figure out a way to make it all work out but…"  
"Tamaki, I…"  
"You lost everything because of me, and I figured since you came on business, life was going well for you and I just didn't want to have you lose it all over again." Neither spoke, nor moved, both wanting to say something but at the same time not sure what to say.

"Kyouya can you forgive me, forgive all I've done to you…if nothing else can we be friends?"  
When he said nothing after a minute Tamaki turned around to leave, he got the hint. Kyouya grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, allowing their lips to meet. The anger, pain, that hole in both their chests closed up and washed away. The love they both shared resurfaced, spreading over them both. When they broke apart Kyouya smiled, "I guess this means your forgiven." Tamaki's face brightened to be consumed by a giant smile, one that hidden for so long. They walked into the living room; a lot had to be said. But, they had time for that for they had each other. Now and forever.

That night Tamaki sat on the window sill in his old room looking up at the sky. Kyouya had gone downstairs for a moment so he was alone. His iPod sat hooked up to the stereo playing a band he loved while overseas. He was happy he had that in his pocket as well when he ran out of the house.  
"Who's this? This doesn't sound like something you would like." Tamaki looked to see Kyouya walking in holding a tray of something."  
"Daughtry, I heard about them overseas and haven't been able to get enough." Kyouya sat across from him and listened as the next song started playing.

_I'm starting out into the night,  
Trying to hide the pain.  
I'm going to the place I love  
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.  
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.  
Well I'm going me,  
Back to the place where I belong,  
And where your love has always been enough for me.  
I'm not running from.  
No, I think you got me all wrong.  
I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home.  
Well I'm going home._

"I can see why you like him. It's very good." He reached across and grabbed Tamaki's hand that was resting on his lap. He intertwined their fingers. "I love you."  
Tamaki smiled as he tightened his grip, "I love you too." Leaning forward he had their lips touch, lips he would never get tired of and he never wanted to. "Amour Victorieux Tout."  
Pulling Tamaki's body closer their eyes glistened with the love they held for each other, a love that would never die, they could feel it throughout their entire being.  
"Love Conquers All."

0o0o0o0o0o0  
ALL DONE! I feel so accomplished since it took me forever to finish this story. This series is all done! If you want to read about their life now that they are together check out my story _Living Our Life_. I love everyone that read, reviewed, favorited, alerted, it means so much to me. Please leave your thoughts and see you all around.  
~Femalefighter~


	18. Epilogue

Chapter 8

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Tamaki stood in front of the mirror, fixing his tie. He wasn't going to lie, he was a little nervous.

"Are you ready yet, you're going to be late."  
"Yea I'm coming," He forced his hands to stop shaking and finish up. He grabbed his coat and walked out the door, Kyouya following behind. The sky was clear; the sun broke through the clouds, after two days of rain. Everything shimmered though, for it created such warmth around them.

They got out of the car; Tamaki looked at the large building where hundreds were waiting. He took a deep breath as he stepped forward and went inside. Annie-Sophie stood by the side door where everyone was waiting.  
"Are you sure you're ready to do this?"  
"Yes, I'll be fine."  
"Okay then, Kyouya and I will stay back here to watch, you have our support on this, remember that."  
"Thanks mom." He hugged her then opened the door; he walked to the side of the stage until he was welcomed in.

"With no further ado, I would like to welcome Tamaki Suoh as today's guest speaker." He inhaled again as he walked on stage and smiled. The room filled with applause and waiting eyes. He grabbed the podium ends to help stand tall. He could do this, he had to.  
"Three years ago, I sat where you are now. I was a sophomore in high school as some of you are now. My grades were top of the class; I was the president of a very successful host club. Some saw my life as perfect, and maybe at times it was. But after my families decision to relocate me to a foreign country it felt as if my world was slipping out from under me. I told no one of what was going on. I kept it locked away, all my pain, sorrow, the truth. I thought that by keeping everyone in the dark I would be helping them and myself by not letting them worry about me. For me it was very hard to let people see my tears no matter how close we were. He looked out over the crowd, his nerves were settling. "I let my secrets take control and I made some stupid mistakes that nearly killed me. I know there is someone here right now that has thought of or is cutting up their body so this is for you. Stop! Talk to your best friend, your lover, talk to me, talk to anyone. Just stop, it's not worth it. Not only did I nearly die, and I mean that, it was very bad for me. My wounds got infected causing me to get very sick and from that my heart stopped. I got lucky as the doctors were able to revive me, but I never want to put my friends and family through that again, and I know you don't want to either. My hand is forever affected. I have trouble getting dressed, doing things I have loved doing for years, like playing the piano, and writing anything in my right hand is nearly impossible. If you know me then you know I am right handed because I am half Japanese, my penmanship will never be the same." He let go of the podium and stepped back. Removing his coat to roll back his sleeves, grabbing the mic off the podium he walked to the students. He exposed his arm to them, let them see the scars that would never really go away. He showed them to prove his words and experiences were true. "I may have these scars forever, but they will never be as bad as the memories. I tried to commit suicide twice all because I kept pushing away the people that cared for me. I don't want anyone to follow in my footsteps. Take charge of your life and live it to the fullest! And when you have a day you need to explode then explode!" He went back to the stage to lean against it. "Tomorrow I have centers opening up all over France and Japan, I plan to open more all over the world, these centers will be here for you to go to or call anytime of day. If you need to escape your world for a while or you want to talk to a staff member that has been in your shoes then come by. We all know what you are talking about every staff member has been affected by depression. Let's stop depression here, before it claims another life. Yes I know that road that we face won't be easy but together we can get through it. I was able to swim in the heavy current and you can too. The future may scare you, but don't let it. I know, I sit in my bed some nights and think if I will go back to hiding in the dark, if one day it will get so bad it ends my life. But then I look at the one I love and the struggles we have been through already and that fear goes away, knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way." He stood up tall, his eyes focused on everyone in the room. "Depression can affect everyone, it doesn't matter what color your skin is, what race you are, your social class, gender, education, religion, sexual preference, for no one is safe. It could be one event in your life or a bunch to cause it. If you are willing now to learn symptoms and help those that need it then you are one step ahead of it." He stopped for a moment before taking a box off one of the chair. He passed out fliers with information about the center and ways to contact him directly. "I don't care what time it may be if you need someone to talk to and you feel odd talking to my staff then talk to me. I already consider everyone in this room a friend of mine, and I will always help my friends the way my friends helped me."

When he was done the room applauded and he smiled brightly, he hoped he impacted at least one persons life for the better. Kyouya and Annie-Sophie walked out from backstage and stood near him as students and staff walked up to Tamaki to talk and ask questions. He felt so good to talk about his past and expose his scars. He was no longer ashamed of them. He accepted his past and all that happened, helping him to move on with his head held high.

Once the students had to go back to class he stood with Kyouya for a few minutes while Annie-Sophie talked to the dean of the school. She apparently was friendly with her using that friendship to help set this all up.  
"Tamaki, you never told me you still had trouble with your hand, and when did you attempt suicide again?" He was anxious, he hoped he wasn't still hiding anything from him, he thought they moved past keeping important secrets.

"Well we have only been together again for few months or so and it hasn't really dawned on me, I mean, yes it is hard to use my hand to get dressed and if I play the piano a lot it hurts to the point of tears...the piano I had in New York hadn't been touched since the week after I got it. But, I've gotten use to it. My handwriting has improve greatly in my left hand when I'm writing French or English and well you heard...Japanese in my left still needs...work. It's okay though because when I look at it I know it's a reminder of my actions and I need to make sure I never let it happen again. As for the second attempt...I just didn't want you to worry about that, my mistake, I'm sorry. It was the day you came to get me to go back to Japan, after you left I realized my mistake and I grabbed an old samurai sword I had in my office. It was still sharp so I planned to stab myself in the vital organs so it would be fatal. My housekeeper was upstairs still after she walked you in and stopped me right before it really touched my skin. I was able to not break skin." He smiled as he wrapped his left arm around Kyouya's waist, "It's okay now though, because all my old fears are gone, there will never be a thought for a third attempt."  
Kyouya forced a smile back at Tamaki even though he was upset for making him even consider a second one, if that housekeeper hadn't been there then Tamaki wouldn't be with him here in France. He would be at a funeral in New York. He was going to say something but Annie-Sophie walked back to them, "Kyouya are you ready to go? We have to go to City hall still to make the change official." He nodded and broke away from Tamaki.  
"Make what official?"  
"Oh René did I forget to tell you? After you went to America I told Kyouya that I would go through the paperwork to make him my adopted son, so he could officially drop Ootori from his name like he wished. He had told me all that happened with his family and since I already considered him like another son of mine I decided to do it. So with help from his sister we went through the process and finally we are ready to finish it."

"Is that okay Tamaki? This is the main reason I wanted to come to France as soon as we were able so this could be taken care of, that and I knew your mother wanted to see you again after all that time a part." Kyouya looked at him, a little worried about his reaction.

"This is so exciting!" He grabbed Kyouya's hand and started to run to the door to go outside.  
"Tamaki!" Kyouya couldn't believe how much Tamaki was back to his old self. It was exciting to see what future they had coming. Tamaki stopped running when they got outside, Annie-Sophie came out shortly after still laughing. Tamaki dropped Kyouya's hand. Before Kyouya could say anything he noticed Tamaki had something serious on his mind.  
"Kyouya, instead of going to city hall to gain my mother's name, why not take mine instead?"  
"Tamaki what are you saying?"  
"Let's be together, till death do we part. Let's make it so no one can take us from each other because I know I can't be with anyone but you." He took both of Kyouya's hands in his own and locked eyes so they could both look into each others souls. "What do you say will you be Mr. Kyouya Suoh? Annie-Sophie hugged Tamaki as Kyouya's mouth dropped. He never expected this. "Oh I'm so happy for you both!" She was overjoyed but let go of Tamaki as he waited for an answer. "Kyouya, what do you say?" Kyouya focused on the ground in hopes to stop his eyes from crying, old habits die hard it seemed. "Yes Tamaki, I will." Tamaki grabbed Kyouya in tight embrace, "That's so good to hear," He let go and with his old self in control he pointed in the direction of town hall. "Then let's go!"

It took awhile to get all the paper work in order and to convince the current staff that it had to be made official today as soon as possible. Before they knew it they were able to get a judge whom they stood in front of. Annie-Sophie was their witness. Someone from her house was brought over to record the ceremony.

While it wasn't the traditional wedding he had always planned on it didn't matter. He was happy knowing that at the end of the day he would still hold Kyouya's heart, like Kyouya held his. "I love you." He whispered across the gap where the other stood. "I love you, too." was whispered back.  
"You are officially married, may nothing tear you apart. Tamaki you may kiss Kyouya." Tamaki grabbed his hands and moved forward their lips to lock. Kyouya quickly over powered him, removing their hands so he could support Tamaki's back and not fear of dropping him.

That night they stared out over the hotel's balcony, watching the sun set. They rented a room in Cannes for the night. It took them awhile to get on a flight down from Paris but it was worth it.  
"When do you start working for Hiroshi?"  
"Whenever I'm ready, I'm thinking about going to school for a degree and then joining him. Maybe do some internship work for him on the side before then."  
"That sounds good, once we are back in Japan I'm going to study to become a counselor since I can't really give advice to anyone at the centers."  
"How did you get the funding for them exactly?"  
"My father, I brought up the idea and he agreed to help, the school he was opening in New York is being turned into a center now as well. The town stopped protesting."  
"That's good to hear."  
"Yes it is, Elizabeth is going to help with it as well."  
"How did she take you leaving?" Tamaki stopped for a moment and thought about it. Finding the perfect words.  
"She took it pretty well I guess, I just told her that while I appreciated all she did for me, I just didn't feel the same towards her as she did for me and that I was staying in Japan. She said some unladylike things but she agreed to help me so I guess she isn't too upset at me." Both started laughing at this, Kyouya never really liked Elizabeth she seemed to desperate, always trying to make others jealous, and scared someone would take him away from her.

Both stared at the water again. Tamaki grabbed Kyouya's hand and kissed his cheek until he could reach his lips. Their love for each other passing through them.  
"Tamaki, what do you say to us following the tradition you were raised one?" He whispered in his ear.  
"What are you talking..." it suddenly dawned on him and he mouthed the word "oh". His face turned red but he agreed. Kyouya led them inside. Today was the day they would never forget as it was the happiest day of their lives.  
"I love you Tamaki Suoh."  
"I love you, Kyouya Suoh."

With that Tamaki was gently pushed on the bed.

The end

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

_Okay so this technically ends this story. For you see as I was writing the last chapter I couldn't help but feel as I was ending it too soon. I want to clear up something for I feel it has been missed. While I loved writing Kyouya and Tamaki together that wasn't the point of the story. I wrote Seeing me Smile to bring up depression, and I know I got off track with it a little as that story continue and so I tried bringing it back up in this one but I feel it was still over looked. But depression is the main issue in both stories. Also, I am re-creating this story in hopes to get it turned into a novel. All updates on it's progress and information on my works can be followed at __**.com/site/**_

_If the link doesn't work here then go to my page it's my webpage link. Thanks again for all the support and making this a story that will forever be in my heart. Love you all._

_~Femalefighter~_


	19. The Last Goodbye Bonus Chapter

Bonus Chapter

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya stood in Tamaki's office allowing the words to sink it. He wasn't coming back with him; they were never going to be together again. He didn't know what to do now, this was good-bye for good.  
"Kyouya? Say something, please. I know your mad at me but please talk to me."  
"If you hear this on the radio then we've already said out last good-bye. I won't be there when you get home, by now there's someone else that hears you cry." Walking past him he stared out the window watching the surf, from this height, the view was gorgeous from here. Not that it wasn't from the yard.  
"I wonder if she holds you like I did. I hope she can love you better cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time." Turning to him he had fire in his eyes as he closed the gap between them, Tamaki stepped back scared by this side of Kyouya. It was a side he hadn't seen in years, since they first met.  
"I didn't want to lose you."  
"Leave you with a broken heart."  
"But wherever we are, we're miles apart. I know we tried, but this is the last good-bye." Unable to stay and face him anymore he headed for the door. He couldn't take this anymore his heart was breaking and he was angry, oh so angry. Swinging the door open he stopped as a thought came to his mind, turning back towards Tamaki he took a step back to him. If he left he wanted him to know something, maybe inflict some of the pain he was feeling back on the one that caused it.  
"Oh, I didn't want to let you go but wherever we are, we're miles apart. I know that we tried, but this is the last good-bye." Taking one last look he turned back around and walked out the office door to leave. He was done here, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Kyouya wait!" Running after him he stopped him on the front walk stairs outside the house. He couldn't let him just leave. He had to tell him everything.  
"We we almost beautiful, a broken piece of art put on display but we were never possible. Another perfect moment thrown away." Touching his face he committed to memory how soft Kyouya's face was as his fingers gentle stroked his cheek. "I know somebody out there will love you. They'll be the forever we never were cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time."  
Touching the hand on his cheek his eyes closed as he committed Tamaki's touch to memory. Pushing him back he let him stare into the fire his eyes held, let Tamaki know how he felt and would always feel.  
"I didn't want to lose you."  
"Leave you with a broken heart."  
"But wherever we are we're miles apart. I know that we tried, but this is the last good-bye. If you hear this on the radio then we've already said our last goodbye, our last goodbye."  
"I didn't want to lose you, leave you with a broken heart." He spoke to Kyouya's back as he headed down the walkway to his waiting car.  
"But wherever we are, we're miles apart. I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye." Stopping he looked up at the sunset in the sky ignoring Tamaki behind him.  
"The last goodbye." Wiping the tears that stung and fell from his eyes he took one last look at Tamaki. "I know that we tried but this is the last goodbye." With that he got into the car and left Tamaki forever. This was good-bye he knew it, he was never coming back to see him and he knew the other would never go to Japan for a visit, not with the way things had just ended. Maybe this was for the best, even if his eyes didn't agree with him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Okay so while writing Taste More Tears "The Last Goodbye" By David Cook played on the radio and I just knew it was perfect for the story but I couldn't use it since I was only using songs that fit the story year and it was much to recent. I had to make some slight changes to the songs lyrics so it fit perfectly. Anyway I wanted this up sooner but again I was too lazy to write it until now where I got the inspiration to just type it on my laptop ( a first for me really.) Anywho hoped you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought. Love you.  
~Femalefighter~


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